Pity party for the Cap'n

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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If you’re not interested in self-serving whining, I advise you to find another thread. This is all about self-pity, and I have loads of it. this seems like the place for this little exercise; mods, feel free to move it, or ban me, whatever.

Last chance to back out …

It’s so late that it’s early. Labor Day is a joke to me, since I haven’t labored for 6 months as of September 2. I’m drunk (for altruistic reasons), I ache all over (for the same reason), I’m about to run out of unemployment insurance, I’m unemployed (a necessary and sufficient condition for the previous statement), I’m lonely for loving company, I’m depressed like you wouldn’t believe, I’m about 40 lbs. overweight (optimistic estimate), my savings is running dry, and Dubya is in the White House. I’ll be 30 this December (I don’t mind that by itself) and my biological clock is ticking. I wanna be a husband and a father before my parents are dead and can’t share in it. I haven’t been in this deep a rut since … well, since my last bout of unemployment following my back injury several years ago. The back and hip still hurt every day; I’d managed to will myself to ignore it so I could work a desk job, but there are no jobs to be had now.

My life, such as it is, sucks rancid mole sperm through a straw. I have some friends, and parents that love me – enough to start paying my bills if I can’t find gainful employment – but that’s about it. I realize that there are people sleeping on park benches who don’t even have what I do, but it’s no consolation right now. I am in such a hole right now that it’s an effort not to cry every night, and yes I’m aware that my feelings of defeat are probably helping to feed my own demise in a downward spiral.

I can’t even keep my apartment clean, or drag my sorry ass to the gym to help generate some endorphins and burn some fat. Somebody please extend me some sympathy, tell me a good joke, offer me the use of your body (I won’t actually do anything, I doubt I could function anyway), or just do something. I am rapidly running out of options for enjoying my existence. I’m trying to maintain a sense of humor, but there’s almost none left.

–Marshall
Cap’n Crud(e)
Desperate for a way out of the dead end

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Wow… sorry things suck so bad right now Cap’n! Try to keep a stiff upper lip and all that (yeah I know that doesn’t help…). Turning 30 isn’t so bad… my mother did it every year for about 25 years! And, in fact, 30 was the year when my life stopped sucking and began to be pretty cool.

All I can offer right now is an amusing anecdote:

A friend of mine (a Korean guy) currently lives in LA… he knew another Korean guy in the states to study English (the guy spoke very little English, and I believe his employer sent him to the US to study for a year…). So this guy gets into a car accident, and is lying in a pool of blood on the side of the road (he was OK, just needed some stitches in his head)… a policeman came over to him and said “How are you?” The Korean guy perused his knowledge of English for an answer and came up with one: “Fine, thank you! And you?”

Made ME laugh, anyways…

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Hang in there, m’man. Anyone who can come up with phrases like

still has something going for them :wink:

Just a quick note - booze and depression are bad companions. Kick one or the other out of your life for a while.

Consider the sympathy extended. I’m lousy at telling jokes, but if you get to Oz, we can negotiate the third :slight_smile:

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When I opened this, I thought we were gonna be talking about cereal.

Cap’n, there are still some good things in this world that help you get up out of bed every morning, no? Here is a list to ponder. I hope that you are doing okay:

Banana bread
Clean socks
Sly and the Family Stone
Sponge Bob Square Pants
The SDMB & the good people here
The Onion
John Stewart

Remember that you aren’t gonna be unemployed forever, sweets. This is an ugly phase, like adolesence. Or puppy breath. This too shall pass.

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Well, shit. I’m sorry to hear you’re doing poorly, hon. I’m very familiar with being stuck in that rut, so I can sympathize. If I were closer, I’d come over and drag your sorry ass out of the house and run ya around the park a few times. Do you have any friends nearby who can actually do that? I find that sometimes when I’m unable to give myself the kick in the ass, I have to ask a pal to do it. Maybe one of the NYDopers? I’ve been experiencing the wonderfulness of the Dopers the last few days in response to my “sad” thread, and what a help it’s been. I find that it helps to talk about it, to anyone who will listen. Spread the misery around, it makes it a lot easier to bear.

Any thing you can force yourself to do will make you feel just a little bit better and may motivate you to do something else. Pick something small, say making the bed (not that I ever do this myself, but whatever), and set a goal of doing this on a regular basis. Accomplishing one goal can help you to then shoot for another one.

And keep in mind that, however horrible you may feel right now, you will not feel this way forever. I’ve been in that black pit of despair enough times to know that I always find my way out somehow.

{{{{{Marshall}}}}} I don’t know if you do cyber-hugs, but I do, so take it and like it.

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I can relate. Really.

For a year-long period in 1994-95 I was depressed to the point of suicide over the loss of my infant son. I didn’t work for most of that entire time, which didn’t help at all. I finally moved back to be closer to my parents and went back to school. After graduation, I found a job that I loved that was much better than what I could’ve found on my own.

If I can make a suggestion, check out your state rehabilitation commission. They often have benefits for injured workers so they can re-train for something that better suits them. Many of the people I was in school with did that.

And if it helps, I’m not the smallest apple on the tree, and I turned 30 in June. So far, nothing bad’s happened, although I do feel older than dirt at times. But that’s not a fatal condition. :slight_smile:

E-mail me if you wanna talk.

Robin

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please don’t be sad! Which is a riduculous thing to say but oh well. For some cheering up I suggest you check out the photos from the ChiDope (I forgot to get the link) and you can laugh all day at the pic of me in bunny ears.

And don’t forget to read the thread…I wore them out on the street!

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I think its here

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You need to see a doctor about your depression, which appears to be just as debilitating as the back pain. It is treatable.

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Thanks, people. Kind thoughts really do help, and I needed them badly. you rule.

{{Rococo c-hugs all around}}

{{{Astroboy14}}} – Thanks, man. Any chance we could teach that guy to say, “My hovercraft is full of eels?”

{{{Tavalla}}} Awww, compliments on my turns of phrase are always appreciated. And the booze is not a habit, really. I had helped a friend move his apartment and the snoggedness was the result of the party afterwards. The achiness (and this huge-ass bruise on my left thigh) were also part of that. Though Zoloft and single-malt do go well together, I know better than to mix anti-depressants and good scotch.

{{{Sophie}}} “These are a few of my favorite things…” I’m allergic to bananas, and I don’t own a TV, but the rest is a good call. Or maybe I can get Roger Daltrey to bring The Who back together for a reunion concert in my apartment.

{{{{Geobabe}}}} Well said. I spotted your thread of misery right before I looked in on my own, and I’m sorry that things are how they are. And remember that I’ve seen you in person – a straight male would be a fool not to accept a hug from you, cyber or no. Sua has my undying envy.

{{{MsRobyn}}} Ouch. You win – belated condolences on your loss, which makes my life look like a sit-com. State rehab commission couldn’t find me anything I’m better suited to, except maybe standup comedy or male prostitution. I miss my career path so bad it hurts. And I’m really happy about my imminent 30-turn, except that right now my life is friggin’ nowhere. It was the same way when I was 27, and I survived that. But now I’m back in it, and I feel like a yo-yo.

You’re all right. A sense of humor is a great thing to be able to hold on to. If only mine had breasts …

M

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Oops, some more people got in here while I was posting my gratitude. Thanks again.

{{{{Miss Creant}}}} Shay, you’re the best. I have got to meet you for real someday. I didn’t find any specific shots of you in the bunny ears, but I can picture it just the same. And I had forgotten all about the Little Wooden Boy tattoo! That’s one thing I must experience in person before I die.

{{{DPWhite}}} It’s already been taken care of, but thanks. I first started antidepressants when I was about 14. I went back on them again a few years ago to cope with the fallout of the back problem.

M

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well I will just have to email it to you directly
I look so dumb, you won’t be able to be depressed.

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Don’t let her fool you, she looked positively adorable in the bunny ears!

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why Geobabe, I bet you say that to all the morons…I mean…uh…girls…:wink:

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in my book,
anyone born in 1971 is A-OK!!!
:frowning: except, I turn 30 before you.

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Pish. He neglects me woefully. You could steal me away from him, easy.