Planning A Trip To Europe For Vacation-but Also To Meet A Woman

[Drunky_Smurf]

Don’t listen to the haters. Go on the trip. You’ll get some worldy knowledge under your belt. Get to see some ancient sites. Meet new and exciting people who could turn into life long friends. You’ll be bridging these two branches of your family. Get some sweet tang from your cousin.

This is a win-win-win.

[Omar_Little]

@Drunky_Smurf

Get some sweet tang from your cousin.

So the XXX parody version of The Smurfs is accurate?

[Drunky_Smurf]

That’s not a parody. That’s a documentary.

[Grim_Render]

There is **no way **this could go wrong!

Now that I got that out of my system, and please remember that the potential damage here is much greater than with someone you’ll never see or hear from again, or who does not know your regular crowd, are you from a culture where cousin marriage is common? I know there are some.

[Ann_Hedonia]

The whole cousin thing aside, the trip is a year away. How do you know that YOU will be unattached by the time next summer rolls around.

Please tell me that you aren’t so hung up on this girl that you aren’t pursuing real relationships with women that live in the same town as you and stuff. Cause that would be seriously screwed up, cousin thing aside.

[brainstall]

I have been to Geneva. I recall it being dull, and I hopped back on a train with my railpass after one night and went back to Amsterdam.

So you’re planning this whole trip to Europe around being in Geneva for a couple of days to meet your cousin and maybe get to kiss her, right? Yes, that’s creepy.

[PastTense]

It looks like Geneva has lots of interesting museums:
http://www.geneva.info/museums/

[brickbacon]

You guys act like you’ve never planned a trip almost a year in advance to a foreign country in order to NOT fuck your cousin outdoors. She kissed him 7 years ago. Clearly she wants this as much as he does.

[Nema98]

@kunilou

Since you asked, it seems creepy.

But before I absolutely declare it to be creepy, I have to ask how clannish your family is. Specifically, are your mother and her brother close? Does your family have giant reunions, its own Facebook page or long chains of email with dozens of recipients? If so, and even if you or your cousin don’t participate that much, then it’s creepy.

Then there’s the issue of building a trip to Europe around seeing a woman you spent a month with seven years ago and since “have not not had much contact except once in a blue moon on social media.” That could be creepy, or just really sad.

Or it could be both.

Our family are not very clan Nisha, and especially my family. We tend to be far away from them, us being in the States while they are mostly in Iran with some scattered in Europe. I think he common mistake you and others are making is assuming I am going through all this trouble for this. I want to take a trip to Europe and seeing her would be a side thing. It’s matter of opportunity.

I don’t do long distance things, also she lives there while I live in Los Angeles. So even if we hit it off, ultimately it would be very short lived. Also I don’t know if she has a boyfriend, but if she does then there still would be no relationshop prospect.

I agree if I were doing all this just to meet her and make a move, it would be beyond sad.

[Nema98]

@brickbacon

You guys act like you’ve never planned a trip almost a year in advance to a foreign country in order to NOT fuck your cousin outdoors. She kissed him 7 years ago. Clearly she wants this as much as he does.

Joking aside, I want to see her as relative. In fact I will be visiting Brussels to and pay quick visit with an older cousins a guy!! Visiting people who happen to live in city you are visiting is not unusual.

[Nema98]

@brainstall

I have been to Geneva. I recall it being dull, and I hopped back on a train with my railpass after one night and went back to Amsterdam.

So you’re planning this whole trip to Europe around being in Geneva for a couple of days to meet your cousin and maybe get to kiss her, right? Yes, that’s creepy.

No seeing her is just a side thing, not the main impetus for me going on this trip.

[Nema98]

@Ann_Hedonia

The whole cousin thing aside, the trip is a year away. How do you know that YOU will be unattached by the time next summer rolls around.

Please tell me that you aren’t so hung up on this girl that you aren’t pursuing real relationships with women that live in the same town as you and stuff. Cause that would be seriously screwed up, cousin thing aside.

No, no I am not hung over her. Currently I am just casually dating and I could be in a relationship by then. But I would still want to see her. Again I am not intending to have sex with her, just see her. Nothing more than a make out IF IT EVEN COMES TO THAT.

[Nema98]

@HMS_Irruncible

This is less unusual than folks seem to think. There’s an actual documented phenomenon called genetic sexual attraction (GSA). Genetic close relatives who don’t meet one another until adulthood often find themselves intensely sexual attracted to one another. This has resulted in some high-profile legal cases concerning parent-child and brother-sister marriages. So your feelings are not at all unusual.

I think your best strategy would be to reflect on these feelings and make sure you have a good understanding for their basis. Then, when you meet her, try to find a casual way to work the subject of GSA into the conversation. Once she’s comprehended the biological inevitability of the attraction, she will find you irresistible, and your fantasies will be consummated. Write back and let us know how it went.

Makes sense, though I have met other closer cousin’s the same age as I, and I NEVER felt any attraction to them. I always saw them as relatives, regardless of distance and time apart.

[Nema98]

@septimus

I don’t know why others call this creepy. Relationship with a 1st-cousin 1x removed one has spent little time around is NOT incest. And …
… there seems to be some mutual attraction already.

But wouldn’t it make sense to reach out to her first with a Facebook message or something and get a clue about her status and feelings before planning your trip around her?

Yes I will start contacting her and letting know of my plans. And just generally what she has been up to all this time. That is what I always intended to do.

[Nema98]

@Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup

Setting aside whether your plan is creepy (it is, but setting that aside):

If you have a whole year between now and then, why not begin cultivating the relationship now?

I have just started.

Anyways thanks KS a lot for your help, I could reply to everyone. I would have preferred to multi quote everyone but it’s not working, so I had to quote and respond to each question I divide ally.

The jury is unanimous that this is a bad idea. Appreciate it.