<Imagining my balls going -click,clack,click,clack- against each other while swinging from side to side.>
This thread is freaking me out. I’m taking my balls and going home.
What, no pictures? Surely a company with such obvious class must have an online catalogue. How can a serious discussion such as this continue without the important visual reference to the product?
Anybody else read the thread title and think "Wow, what a great name for either a Dead Kennedys or Emerson, Lake, & Palmer album?
Remember that toy from 30 years ago (shit I hate saying that) that was essentially 2 glass balls at either end of a string? You held the string in the middle and vigorously shook your hand up and down and the balls met every half circle, loudly bouncing off each other. We called them Clackers.
Man, I’d give my left nut to have some clacker balls.
People could always tell if you’re in a hurry and would get out of your way.
I’d be easy to get inspiration from the cadence while jogging, thus spurring you on to faster times.
And the next time I wander off, they wouldn’t have such a hard time finding me.
Who’s seen L.A. Story? There’s this scene where Harris and Roland are walking down the hall after Harris and SanDeE* and Roland and Sarah had all been having sex (in adjacent rooms). There’s this song like chimes in a clock being jostled together. Harris says, “What’s that bonging noise?” and Roland replies, “It’s my damn testicles . . . bloody annoying. . . .”
I’ve never understood that scene.
Now, don’t I remember a thread about faux-testes for neutered dogs, so that their self-esteem wouldn’t suffer after ‘fixing’-- the were called ‘neuticles’, right? Now, if we had invented something like this for humans prior to 1930, perhaps those unfortunate events in Central Europe in the 30’s-40’s wouldn’t have happened (if grade-school rumour is true)?
Faux Ballons does not have an online catalogue. The company does not wish to encourage titillative viewing of its product range by uncouth persons who may wish to speculate on the kind of Testicle Fillings mentioned in this thread. Faux Ballons would consider such speculation to be in Bad Taste.
The company really has no need to advertise. It has a small but select clientele who are most discerning in their False Testicle requirements. It is only this elite who are privileged to receive Pictures of the Orbs in question via their Christmas Catalogue.
As for banging them together, Faux Ballons marketing literature expressly states that the guarantee on the products will be invalidated if this is done.
If anyone wishes to purchase a Faux Ballons Plastic Testicle, or three, they should contact their local dealer. However I must warn prospective buyers that they are not cheap. All their Balls are hand-crafted from natural plastic and finished to the highest standard with Gloss Paint.
It is possible to have these products engraved (maximum 15 characters), so they can either be personalised with the name of the buyer, or carry a loving message on them such as Squeeze me Baby or Hello Mum.
All in all, an ideal gift for the Festive Season.
Do they sell testicles made out of brass?