People who take an interest in such matters may recall this thread, which discusses various examples of the Half-Empty Scrotum syndrome.
There is also a brief mention of the availability of Plastic Testicles, known in the trade as Prosthetic Orbs. Those ‘in the know’ can obtain these items as replacements for originals which may have been removed for one reason or another.
I have received in the mail a Christmas Catalogue from a company called Faux Ballons. This supplier is the Major Player in the Plastic Testicle arena, and has just revamped its product range to reflect the changing nature of the marketplace.
Customers can now buy Faux Ballons products with an option to have one inserted into the Scrotal Sac in the usual way, or they can have an Orb which attaches to the Ear as a fashion accessory (warning: Ears must be pierced first).
The Ballons are sold either singly or in a boxed set of 3 and, in an exciting new development, they are now available in the colours of your favourite football team.
With Christmas just around the corner, it’s worth mentioning that there is no need to use expensive wrapping paper on these products. They can be attached to any Christmas Tree so as to be indistinguishable from other ornamentation, especially if covered with a light coating of Glitter.
The piece de resistance in the Faux Ballon range is the Illuminated Testicle (batteries not included) which flashes on and off in time with the Christmas Tree lights.
If the fortunate recipient of this item chooses to have it installed in the Scrotum, it should prove extremely useful when walking home in the dark naked, since oncoming traffic will be alerted to the recipient’s presence thus preventing Nasty Accidents.
A further update will be posted when the Spring Catalogue arrives.
The balloon can be attached to the ear? Why would I want a testical looking thing hanging from my ear?
I wonder, with those new plastic testicals, is there a way to put something in there other than semen? Wouldn’t it be cool when you’re right at the moment of climax and you shoot out a stream of chocolate? (your partner might like that…)
Or perhaps bubbles? Maybe even whipped cream…
OK, the team colors don’t bother me, nor does the idea of the Christmas versions. But three ? What man would want 3 testicles ? What would it feel like for a man to have a few extra fake testicles ? I know, Let’s get Spoofe to try them. [sub] j/k Spoofe, you know I love you [/sub]
[sub] I don’t even want to discuss the ear thing.[/sub]
What about filling your package with some Starbucks iced brownie Frappé? It’d be awesome to give yourself a torque and have a tasty beverage at the same time.
I’m not sure I like the way this thread is turning out.
Let me make it absolutely clear that Faux Ballons’ products are not hollow. They are solid. Except for the Illuminated Testicle which has a Bulb and Battery Space.
This is not Perverted Foodstuffs we are talking about here. Any discussion regarding Chocolate or Alcohol filled Testicles should be directed to the appropriate thread. God knows there are plenty of them. Perhaps a Moderator could keep an eye on this in the interests of Thread Integrity.
The Plastic Orbs are sold in a boxed set of 3 to allow greater user selectivity in testicular choice. It’s no good, for example, if you happen to be wearing a blue suit and only have an Orange Testicle to wear, is it?
There is clearly more to this subject than meets the eye. If anyone should wish to move this thread to Great Debates, I will raise no objection whatsoever.
Frankly, I think the subject of chocolate-flavored ejaculate has yet to be fully explored, and could change the face of the Western civilization. Okay, maybe not the face, per se…
Sorry 'bout that. I was just tossing out ideas.
The balls are solid? So does that mean they bounce? Or does it work like those perpetual motion toys people have on their desks at work? If I take one ball in one hand and release it will it bounce off the other one ad infinitum?
