**Halls of Monty Pyton ** a gripping tale how this comedy troup fought in the South Pacific during WW2.
**Hamlet It Be ** The fab four bring remarkable depth to the Bards most famous work.
**Terminator 2: Day of the Triffids ** The cyborg is back to save John Connor from cute fuzzy fucklikerabbits little creatures from taking over the earth.
The Quiet Earthquake a man on the verge of death when all but 3 people in humanity die at the same time, must some how survive the Great Los Angeles Earthquake.
**East of Ed Wood. ** Set in Texas, this angora loving Director is conflicted and rebellious.
The Color Purple Sage Oprah Winfrey in a western
**The Rifleman of La Mancha ** Chuck conners goes tilting at windmills.
**Running Braveheart ** Robbie Benson stars in this sweeping epic of a Native American runner who leads the Scots against the English.
**Tom Brown’s School of Rock ** Tom brings Rock & Roll to a stuffy Victorian English School. oh, wait…
**Major 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea ** Baseball at the bottom of the ocean, where it should be. Look for an appearance by Bruce, the Great White Shark.
**Finding Captain Nemo ** got nuthin’
**The Morning After Dark, My Sweet ** Jane Fonda wakes up after a bender to find a dead boxer in her bed.
**Air America In Paris ** Flying top secret behind lines to dance with Cyd Charisse.
What about Blob? A large gelinateous blob has issues.
**Strictly Ballroom With a View ** This offbeat Cinderella stor about ball room dancing is set in Victorian Italy.
**Look Who’s Talk Radio ** An adorable baby with voice overs from Bruce Willis is a belittling and badgering host of a radio show.
**Serving Sarafina! ** An adorable comedy of a process server working in the South African state.
**Serving Sara Plain & Tall ** This true to life story of a Process Server in Kansas who gets a bride from New England through Mail Order.
** On the Beach Blanket Bingo ** Nuclear Holocaust Victims dance it up in this frivoulous beach party themed drama.
Jagged Educating Rita: A physcotic woman hunts torments her ennui ridden college professor in this taut thriller.
**The Four Musketeers of the Apocalypse ** Athos, Portos, Aramis and D’Artangen fight on opposite sides during WW1.
**Fistful of Yentl ** A rabbi in pursuit of a bad guy in this spagetti western. This film is rated K for Kosher.
**A Christmas To Dismember Mama ** writes itself.
**The Music Man from Snowy River ** Professor Harold Hill sings his way as a con man while rounding up the cattle in this lushly set turn of the century Australian cowboy movie.
**Wee Willie Wonka ** A chocolate maker is sent to live with his curmudgeonly grandfather in India.
**Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town called Hell ** Zombies & hot chicks on bikes, what more do you need?
**Fly Like Us ** Dan Ackroyd & Jeff Goldblum star is this drama of flies who become spied.
**The Full Monty Python ** Down and out comedians bare it all.
**Life of Brian’s Song ** A cancer ridden football player is mistaken as the Messiah.
Bridge at Topogigo The best picture about the Korean War starring Senor Wencalas (sp?)
**East is East of Eden ** Om Puri is a Paki who owns a fish & Chips shop set in Texas who has issues with his father.
**Golgothica **The Passion of Jesus’ life set in a futuristic setting. Uma Thurman as Mary.
**Lean on Meet John Doe ** A penniless drifter becomes a principal in a tough inner city school.
That Darn GATACCA
That special touch of Disney whimsy lends itself to this sci-fi outing where Ethan Hawke uses high-tech subterfuge to sneak his way onto a space mission filled with genetically engineered Siamese.
Down and Out in Beverly Hills Have Eyes
Charming vagrant Nick Nolte changes the lives of Richard Dreyfuss’ stuck-in-a-rut wealthy suburban family just in time for them to fend off a mutant motorcycle gang.
Abbott and Costello Meet Joe Black
The wacky twosome in a remake of “Death Takes a Holiday”
SalvaDoors
James Woods finds Jim Morrison (Val Kilmer) hiding in Central America writing poetry.
Free Steamboat Willy
A young man attempts to liberate a crudely drawn, singing rodent.
The Incredible Mr. Hulket
Don Knotts turns into a muscle-bound green fish when angered.
Snow White and the Se7en Dwarfs
A young woman escapes from the evil queen into the woods, only to find herself in the company of seven short, deranged killers: Vain, Lusty, Gluttonous, Wrathful, Envious, Proud, and Greedy (Jeff Katzenberg*).
Where The Boys Are Psycho: Anthony Perkins whisks Annette Funicello off her surfboard and into the shower.
Gidget Goes Berserk: Sandra Dee gets a hot date with Clu Gulager. Cameo appearance by a young Bruce Dern.
Ocean’s Three Stooges: Frank Sinatra pokes Dean Martin in the eye, squirts seltzer down Sammy Davis Jr’s pants, gets a door slammed on his nose by Peter Lawford and chases Joey Bishop down the road to Niagara Falls with a microphone stand.
Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte’s Web: Templeton tears words out of Lurvy’s *Argosy *magazine and Fern’s grandmother drops dead in the barn after reading the contents of the web. Spoiler: Charlotte dies an untimely death shortly thereafter and Wilbur ends up as the guest of honor at the Hormel plant.
Indiana Jones and his Grampa Joe infiltrate the lair of mysterious cult leader Wonka, discover the secret of his uncanny hold on the minds of the Oompa-Loompas, and nearly fall into his clutches when they consume the forbidden Fizzy Lifting Drinks.
I’m only on page six, but I gotta get ready to go to work. Truly hilarious, guys.
This is one of the few mentioned that had been in my mind prior to this thread. However, Shirley Ujest’s “Best in Showgirls,” which I breezed past when I wanted to see just how long this thread had gotten, will stick with me for some time.
Anyway, not wanting to just drop a comment in without leaving a few recommendations of my own for the splicer:
Dancer in the House of Dark Shadows—Lars von Trier’s emotional wringer is set in Colingsport, Maine, and tells the story of two immigrants, Selma Jezkova(Björk) and Barnabas Collins (Jonathan Frid), who each struggle with a personal and devastating secret.
I’m going with this one, though I was tempted by Dancer in the Dark Crystal (Björk would fit right in with those muppets!) and by melding Dancer in the Dark with Cry in the Dark (Björk! Catherine Deneuve! Meryl Streep! Dingos! Björk!); I just couldn’t work out the appropriate title for the latter.
Velvet Golddiggers of 1933 - Christian Bale is a young journalist trying to uncover the true story behind the disappearance of money-hungry cross-dressing bisexual show"girl" Jonathan Rhys-Meyers decades before.
Jim Jarmusch’s Dead Man Walking on Campus - in an Old West university, Johnny Depp and Sean Penn attempt to drive their roommate to suicide so they can get straight-As for the semester. But the plan goes awry, leaving Depp on he run from bounty hunters in the wilderness and Penn convicted of murder and sentenced to death.
Boys Don’t Cry in the Dark “The transgendered teenager et my baby!” (a Focus on the Family production)
Cheaper by the Dirty Dozen- an efficiency expert must take his twelve children behind enemy lines in order to further corrupt the original source material for his family comedy.
Little Big Women- four pampered New England sisters are raised by the Cheyenne; heartrending scenes include the one in which Jo sells her scalp to buy her adoptive mother a blanket.
Kramer vs. Freddie a yuppie attorney must fight a court trial to gain custody o fher son when a deformed man claims he fathered him in a nightmare. (Sequel: Jason vs. Kramer.
Rosemary’s Baby Boom a busy advertising executive has to choose between career and family when she is given the child of Satan to raise. She becomes more successful than ever by marketing her own line of Gourmet Apple Sauce (now with 100% more Tannis Root).
About a Boy and his Dog a well groomed self absorbed trust fund heir Londoner inadvertently opens his flat and his life to a cannibalistic teenager and his demonic dog in this feel good post-apocalyptic comedy.
The Haunting of Animal House Liam Neeson (and a CGI Roddy McDowell) take a group of teenagers to an abandoned fraternity house haunted by the spirit of a fat SNLer who died of a drug overdose at the apex of his career. (The scene in which a Samurai Baker decapitates two students may be too extreme for some viewers.)