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421

Perhaps you have heard of the eclectic:

Analyze This Boy’s Life is Beautiful Girls Just Want to Have Fun in Acapulco Golden Child’s Play it again Sam

In which Billy Crystal helps mob boss Robert Deniro deal with his emotional difficulty in relating to his new stepchild (Leonbardo Dicaprio) while all three are held in a Nazi concentration camp. Crystal’s character’s life is complicated by his own attempts at coming to terms with the women in his life and his attraction to one of the daughters of the camp’s commandant (Woody Allan) who herself is trying to escape her father’s overbearing rules. When she (Sarah Jessica Parker) sneeks out to go to a dance competition in Acapulco with Elvis Presley she winds up in accidentally smuggling Maijuana for a group of demons intent on bringing about the end of the world. Her father must hire Eddy Murphy to find her and bring her back, but his efforts are hampered by the possessed doll that the demons send to stop him. Eventually Woody Allan’s alter ego Humphry Bogart convinces him to rescue his daughter himself.

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I say we end the thread on that one.

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I second. Some of these have been brilliant, but the thread’s so long no one’s going back to read it, and we’re getting the same ideas over and over and over again.

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A friend (named Tom) who’s not a regular on the SDMB suggested the following:

Nothing But Big Trouble in Little China
Nick Nolte and Kurt Russell team up to save green eyed reporters Jula Roberts and Kim Catrall after they are kidnapped by immortal Chinese warlord in order to fulfill blood sacrifice to become mortal again while investigating bio-tech corruption in San Francisco.

Aliens in the Mist
Lt. Ripley throws in the towel and rather than trying to hunt them down, decides to start a reserve in Africa for the title insectoids, and study their habits, while feeding them poachers.

Alien Cube(d)
Ripley crash lands on prison planet…but prison is made of nearly identical box like rooms. She must escape the hunting alien with aid of schizophrenic mathematician, a tough New York cop, the groundskeeper from Notre Dame’s football stadium, and Ezri Dax from Seep Space Nine. She later decides suicide is a better option.

Any Given Black Sunday
Cameron Diaz goes mad with the pressure of running a pro football team. Seeking revenge on Coach Pacino and Commissioner Heston she decides to end it by flying an explosive laden blimp into the stadium.

Kill Will Hunting
With a climatic, samurai inspired fight scene at Faneuil Hall, The Bride finds that the real brains behind the Deadly Viper Assassins is a blue collar janitor-mathematician…
“Whaddaya think of 'dat Japanese metal!”

To Live and Let Die in L.A.
After a San Monique counterfeiter kills Felix Leiter, Bond thows out the book and seeks revenge. Film includes a 25 minute speed boat chase, with Bond and Tee Hee going the wrong way through the harbor.

God Bless the Beauty, the Beast, and the Children
Hard on their luck teens risk everything to save annual hunt of Beast, in order to help their friend Belle find true love.

Out of Africa, and Coming to America
Robert Redford decides that imposed marriage by Karen Blixen is no safari, so he’s off to Queens with Arsenio Hall to find his true love…memorable scene in which he fires on a charging Samuel L. Jackson at the MacDowel’s Restaurant.

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Oops, sorry. I was only on page 4, but wanted to submit my friend’s suggestions (and I only posted half of his), since it sounded like he’d read the entire thread (and thus wouldn’t repeat).

Do others want to close the thread? Should I not post the others by my friend?

<sniff sniff> But it’s so fun! <toddler voice>Don’ wanna close da thread!</toddler> :wink:

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I vote let him post.

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Logan’s Chicken Run - claymation chickens attempt to escape from the farm where they are baked into pies at age 30

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OK, then. :slight_smile: (BTW, I have to admit that I don’t get a few of these because I haven’t seen the movies. I’m trusting my friend on them.)

Remember the Clash of the Titans
Denzel Washington and Burgess Meredith team as Black and White mentors to L.A. lawyers who are taught to come together as a team in order to fend off Harryhousen creatures in this touching mythological film.

Mirakill Bill
A member of the 1980 US Hockey Team tries to get off the team. Entire wedding party is high sticked, slashed, and checked to death. They only made one mistake…they didn’t kill him!

Return to Patton Place
Small town morale is at an all time low when a scandalous book is published…until George C Scott arrives to slap them all into a well oiled fighting machine.

Mickey Blue Eyes Wide Shut
Hugh Grant descends into the underworld of sexual perversity while resisting the urge to cheat on Jeanne Tripplehorn, knowing that James Caan will whack him if he slips up.

The Man Who Went Up a Notting Hill, but Came Down a Cold Mountain
Civil War epic that shifts from London to Appalacia as engineer Hugh Grant must race Jude Law to get back to his long lost love, who happens to be the biggest star of the Washington stage!

Trois Couleurs: Moulin Rouge!
Documentray concerns dancer who relizes her neighbor is invading her privacy while she engages in love trysts with young Ben Kenobi and Toulouse-Lautrec

Gosford Jurassic Park
Rich English eccentric invites friends and servants to dinner party at his park filled with genetically engineered dinosaurs. Hilarity ensues when one of the guests is found dead with multiple bite and claw marks.

The Hunt for the Whales of August
Bette Davis, Lillian Gish, Vincent Price, Ann Southern, and Sean Connery star. Connery steals a secret Soviet submarine with silent propulsion in order to sneak up on whales and scare them into returning to the Maine coast where old people can feel that time hasn’t changed.

The Patriot Games
When Mel Gibson breaks up an assassination plot, he is reluctantly drawn back into the military to defend his family from Red Coats.
And one last batch after these (I didn’t want to make one post too big)…

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The last of the ones from my friend Tom (my favorite is the last one):

Signs of Pi
M. Night Shamaylan directs this chiller with a twist. Eccentric mathematician searches for trigonometric meaning in crop circles to fight off alien invaders.

Master and Commander of the World
Based on a recently found Patrick O’Brian-Jules Verne collaboration, Captain Jack Aubrey (Russell Crowe) ditches the HMS Surprise and uses Robur’s (Vincent Price) diabolical airship to fight Napoleon’s fleet off of South America. Charles Bronson guest stars as a captured Francophile determined to stop them both.

About the Long Kiss Goodnight Last Night
Fun love story where Rob Lowe tries to kindle a romantic affair with an amnesiac Geena Davis, until she learns she is a highly trained assassin

Confessions of Dangerous Minds
Based on the novel “My Posse Don’t Watch the Gong Show”, it chronicles the life of a game show host/CIA hitman who turns to teaching in an inner city school.

National Lampoon’s Brokedown Palace
The Grizzwalds win a trip to Thailand, and all is going fine and dandy until Rusty meets these two women who need a favor…hilarity ensues when Clark and family try to break him out of a Thai prison.

The Princess Mononoke Diaries
When the Queen of Genovia is infected with a terrible disease by the Boar-god, Hector Elizondo is sent to find her successor in the Land of Giants…a princess raised by a single mother wolf, and helps her in her envoronmental causes and war against the popular girls of her private school.

Star Trek: First Blood
Suffering the psychological effects of the Borg, Captain Piccard is hasseled by a local cop on a small planet while on leave…until he is pushed too far…Jonathon Frakes reprises his role of Commander Riker to try to talk some sense into the unbalanced Starfleet legend.
“God didn’t create Piccard…I made him!”

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Weeellll . . . I was talking to a Very Successful Illustrator friend of mine, and we are going to work up a cartoon book proposal of 50 or so titles (for legal reasons, frustratingly, I will only be able to use mine and no other Dopers’–I don’t need any lawsuits! Sad, as some of yours were so much funnier than mine).

It might make a cute little book, and my V.S.I. friend has published before and knows the right people to approach with it.

Whaddaya think?

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Here are a few of my own. I don’t know why this thread is so irrestistible (besides the fact that so many people have made so many great suggestions!)…

Cannonball Chicken Run - Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, Jackie Chan and Sammy Davis Jr. enter a competition to escape from a chicken farm.

Forbidden Planet of the Apes - Astronauts sent to check on a missing colony discover a planet where intelligent apes rule. But it turns out the apes are only in the astronauts’ heads.

I know someone else did a version of the following combo, but mine is different. So nyah. :slight_smile:
When Harry Met the Hendersons - Billy Crystal falls in love with a yeti.

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I like it! And I give you my permission to use my lone contribution (and any others that I might think up and post later), without attribution, if you like it. I don’t know if you also need the Reader’s permission, though.

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If we sell the book (and that’s a big “if”) I might note any irresistible entries and contact both the author and the Reader for written legal permission (of course, they would be attributed!).

But that is a long way off!

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Actually it would be a really cool “proceeds to charity” project (especially for an Actor’s Home, Actors Fight AIDS, or some other show biz relevant charity).

435

It’s been done. A while back I got a great powerpoint slide show of many crossed movie posters. Those that were included are:

Dude, Where’s my Ring? (LOTR/Dude, Where’s my Car?)

Basic Gumption (Basic Instinct/Forrest Gump)

Gone with the Wind in 60 Seconds

James Bond and the Giant Peach

Enemy of the State at the Gates

Seven (Se7en/Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs)

The Scorpion King and I

Spider-Doo (Spiderman/Scooby Doo)

The 8 Green Miles

My Big Fat Greek Wedding Planner

Gladinator (Gladiator/Terminator)

Beannibal (Hannibal/Mr Bean, very disturbing picture)

Grumpy Old Men in Black

and my personal favorite

Crouching Tigger Hidden Pooh

They were done very well so you would have a time trying to top them. If you want a copy and can’t find it online, I can email it to you.

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Nineteen Eighty-Four Rooms
Winston is the night desk clerk in a dystopian hotel. Find out how Big Brother deals with misbehaving kids and a dead hooker, a loopy witch’s coven, and Quentin Tarantino.

Blue Velvet Crush
Surfer gurrl finds masochistic satisfaction in a big-wave surfing competition after having a nearly fatal wipeout. Her football boyfriend just can’t compete with coral, rocks, and huge pounding walls of seawater.

Waiting for Godot to Exhale
The lives of four black women are intertwined as they wait for Godot to answer their existential questions, or at least give them a way to find a good man.

The Big Blue Lebowski
The Dude breaks the world free-diving record, using his bowling ball as a diving weight, in an attempt to recover his rug.

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Sure, it’s been done before, there’s a website, and IIRC there’s even been an SDMB thread about it before. But none of those previous attempts came up with anything as brilliant as Analyze Them! or I am Curious (Old Yeller).

I’m disappointed y’all are turning out the lights on this thread after it made Threadspotting and everything. I wanted to add:

big Lebowski
A young boy makes a wish at a magic fortune-telling machine and wakes up as an aging stoner in the middle of a kidnapping plot.

The Fighting Temptations of Christ
While being crucified, Jesus is plagued with doubts, but eventually realizes that he is, in fact, destined to form a gospel band.

Brian’s Song of the South
“I love Uncle Remus… and tonight, I want you to love him, too.”

Harvey: Portrait of a Serial Killer
A mild-mannered, pleasant man happens to have an invisible friend in the form of a 6-food tall homicidal rabbit.

The Fly Who Loved Me
A suave British secret agent must enlist the aid of his female Soviet counterpart when a teleportation accident mixes his genetic material with that of a housefly.

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Hey, I just noticed, it did make Threadspotting! Wow, that’s the first time I’ve been in a Threadspotting-thread. Nifty.

I am also disappointed at the vote to shut down, since I was away from my 'puter all weekend.

So in the spirit of protest, a few more (animated) additions.

The Land Before Timecop - A rogue time traveller from the future alters the past so that dinosaurs develop speech and highly marketable features. Jean-Claude Van Damme must travel back to undo this horrifying changes to the timeline.

Sleeping American Beauty - A middle-aged Prince Charming finds himself attracted to a much younger enchanted princess.

Prince Ali - Young thief from the streets of Baghdad finds a mystical genie, and wishes to be ‘the greatest’.

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Everything’s been done; no reason why it can’t be done again, differently.

Screw that—I’m broke and my friend has no health insurance! We’re our own “charity!”

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Here is a bunch of crossed posters.