Once there was a man named Cecil. He lived near a town in the middle of a great desert. On his land was a tiny Oasis with a lovely clear pond. The pond was tiny, only large enough for one person to bathe in at a time. All of the people who lived in the desert wanted to bathe in Cecil’s pond, but for years, he could only allow one person a week to bathe there. The people would each present themselves to Cecil, and he would decide which person each week would get to partake of the wonderful water.
After many years, there came an opportunity. Many people now had water, and wished to share it, but had few places to do so. At great expense to himself, Cecil built a large and pretty pool, that all who had water could come and share with those who were dry.
At first the numbers were small, and all went well. Cecil appointed a few volunteers to be lifeguards to help those who came to the pool. Then one day, hue and cry were heard from the pool.
“Oh, what is this wailing?” Cecil asked. The masses in the pool cried out “Alas! Someone has crapped in the pool!” The lifeguards said “Yea verily, and here is the offender!”, whom they had by the scruff of the neck. Cecil was aghast that anyone would profane such a lovely pool. “Cast out this pool crapper! And set forth on the wall of the pool these words; ‘Thou Shalt Not Crap in the Pool, Lest Ye be Cast Out!’” And all who bathed agreed that this was a good rule.
Over the course of time, many people came to the pool and were refreshed. But, for some reason, there were those who felt a powerful urge to crap in the pool. Some would do so outlandishly and be cast out quickly. Others would crap repeatedly, but only a little bit, so as to go unnoticed by the lifeguards until the crap became offensive, whereupon the crapper would be cast out.
Then there were who cried out that crapping in the pool should be allowed! They would say, “I have a constitutional right to crap where I please!” Or “I am the sort who craps in pools! I should not be cast out for being me!”
Some would hide in disguises and return to crap, others would come to the pool for long periods of time and then suddenly crap without warning. Some would crap and call it art, or an experiment.
But in the end, crap is crap, and crappers become outcasts.
Please don’t crap in the pool.