Okay, I have never had any interest whatsoever in baseball, golf, chess, opera, wine-tasting, or calculus. But I can fully appreciate the fact that some people are passionate about these things. It is not beyond my comprehension.
Yeah, me too. I mean, I know the type of person that is being described (Ew! How can you eat THAT? I don’t know why anyone would eat THAT!!) But this situation has some things that are relatively easy to understand–like dancing for fun. And other things that are really hard to relate to–like dancing for fun all night long, next to funky drunk people, with loud music thumping in your ear.
The obvious answer is “Because it’s FUN!” But people KNOW this, duh! They don’t think partiers are masochistic. People want to know what makes it fun. Nzinga, your post nicely answers this question because you are sharing what the experience feels like as someone who enjoys it. Thank you.
It’s not beyond my comprehension that other people like things that I don’t get , either – the question I suspect the OP is asking is “What do you people get out of this?”
It’s not, as so many seem to be interpreting it, “How can you low-lifes possibly like such activities, instead of the intellectual pursuits that I likre?” This is not a put-down.
If we can’t ask questions without other people assuming that the asker is simply a pretentious poser, we might as well pack the SDMB up.
I’m guessing you have some things other people like that you really can’t imagine what on earth they could possibly find about it to like. Something that’s just…incredibly physically and psychologically unpleasant to you. Scat fetishists are usually a pretty safe target for “WTF! Why would anybody voluntarily do that?!” so we’ll pick on them. (If you get that, mentally substitute something else, like furryism, or cutting, or camping, or whatever.) Most folks hate the physical feeling of shit on their skin, and they hate the way it makes them mentally feel dirty all over, and those aversions are so strong we tend to assume there’s something fundamentally off about people who enjoy that sort of thing. That’s what going to a club is like for some of us–the sensory and psychological equivalent of having shit smeared on us. So yeah, we legitimately wonder what on earth people could possibly see in it to enjoy.
Seriously? I can understand not liking certain kinds of music, not liking music that’s too loud, not liking cigarette smoke, not liking being bumped into, not liking obnoxious behavior…but you’re saying it’s actually like having shit smeared on you? I have to admit I don’t get that.
Well, good for you, dude. What do you want people to do? Pretend that they understand something they don’t just so that they don’t look like dweebs? Never ask questions that demand others to actually think about the “why” behind their feelings? Just 'cuz you got the world figured out doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t show our ignorance every once and awhile.
I’m known for creating befuddling threads like What does a crush feel like? I’m sure someone read that title and rolled their eyes. Either I should know enough about human behavior to be able to imagine what a crush feels like, or I should be too ashamed of myself to ask such a stupid question. But you know what? I actually learned something about human emotions and feelings that I didn’t know before, because people take for granted that crushes happen to everyone and never explain what’s going on inside.
I have a tone, I know. I ain’t the least bit apologetic about it either!
This is the last line from my post, bolded:
**I have a hard time believing that there are those who can’t even imagine that anyone would enjoy it. **
If someone can say to me that they *can’t even imagine *that anyone would enjoy partying, then yes, I stand by my declaration that folks be feigning innocence.
This is the first line from my next post, bolded:
Ah. I see then. My apologies, it appears we are talking past eachother. Since it is not beyond your comprehension, then I don’t direct my comments to you.
Should I go Dionysian or Apollonian? hmmm…
“Scat?” Really? Well, I can see why some of these folks never got asked out to have fun…
I’m rather sedate now, but still on occasion dance to live, loud music & have a drink or two.
Seriously. It’s that unpleasant for me.
Even in my 20s, the typical peak time for partying, I didn’t “party”. I’d invite friends over and have a party, or I’d go to someone’s house to a party, but I didn’t like to party. I liked to drink.
I never enjoyed night clubs, dance clubs, Top-40 clubs, Mardi Gras, crowds, noise, smoke, etc. A big reason was the price. I’d rather have gone to the liquor store and paid $10 for a case of Michelob (I’m talking close to 30 years ago) than $2, $3 or even $4 for one drink (now it’s what, $8 a drink, and $4-5 for a beer?).
Plus, and this is the other big reason, I enjoyed conversation, which was impossible in a club. So I often went to a jazz club, or even a hotel lounge to hear a small combo (not all of them were as cheesy as Murph and the Magictones).
So count me as among those who never really got it either.
I am in awe of your energy.
As a connoisseur of the club scene, you really need to make a trip to Calgary during Stampede week - you haven’t partied till you’ve partied with a couple thousand drunken cowboys. 
These threads always crack me up.
I don’t understand how someone could like the color red. I like the color blue. Why would someone like the color red? I mean, it’s not like it’s blue or something.
For me it’s all about the combination of the venue and people. About a year and a half ago, a friend of mine threw a week long bachelor party in Vegas. To me, a group of 25 dudes in their late 20s through early 40s spending a week getting drunk, gambling, going to strip clubs, hanging out by the pool all day while girls in bikinis shake their ass to the latest dance tunes rocks. The last night we spent smoking cigars, drinking scotch, then hanging out in a VIP balcony at one of the nightclubs at The Palms during a Paul Oakenfold show. It was basically like being on Spring Break. Ok, technically, it was actually Spring Break. As well as St Patrick’s Day and the final weeks of the NCAA March Madness tourney. So yeah, it was pretty fucking awesome.
That said, I do see the other side of it as well. You get drunk assholes picking fights, acting obnoxious and breaking shit. Annoying drunk bitches screaming and yelling. And I will guarantee you no one you meet is as attractive and interesting in the light of day as they were when you met them drunk at 2am. Plus being hung over sucks.
In all my years of partying though, I never liked being packed in like sardines with all the riff-raff.
Nzinga, I absolutely agree with you here. I agree I see that behavior a lot, along with disdain for stereotypically “girly” things. I risk a sprain because of :rolleyes: so much.
Clearly, these aren’t genuine questions. It’s an annoying bullshit way to give your opinion that x-behavior is stupid and people who like it are stupid. It’s worse than actually saying that, though, because it’s fucking cowardly. It’s also passive aggressive, because you’re avoiding ACTUALLY explicitly saying it, so people can’t call you out for your attitude ( : wide-eyed innocence, “what? I was just asking because I want to know!:(:(:(:(:(” : ). It’s as aggravating as the passive-aggressive self-insulting in front of others a lot of people do so others will leap in and compliment them (“god, I’m soooooooo ugly!” “what?? Noooooo! You are SO not ugly! You’re gorgeous!!!” Barf).
I think the problem is that because this behavior is relatively : cough : common, genuine inquiries get unfairly lumped together with them. To me, the problem is that “understanding” really can describe two very different things:
[ul]
[li] Intellectual understanding - comprehending a concept at the cerebral level. Understanding that putting your hand on a lit burner will burn the shit out of your hand, knowing that the death of a close family member is horrible and grief-ridden, knowing that setting a goal to run a marathon and then sticking to your training regimen and actually finishing one is an amazing accomplishment. [/li]
[li]Empathetic understanding - comprehending a concept at the instinctual, emotional level. Actually having had the shit burned out of your hand when you accidentally touched a lit burner, actually having your spouse, parent, child (or whomever) die and planning their funeral, actually putting all the work into marathon training and being able to cross the finish line. [/li][/ul]
The two are so different, and I believe the empathetic version is a much, much deeper understanding. The problem is, it’s incredibly hard to achieve if you have not personally experienced the thing in question. I think the genuine questions relating to activities/hobbies/preferences/etc come from a desire to try to understand it at that empathetic level, at least more than they currently can.
MOL’s first post absolutely stated the obvious reasons why people who enjoy partying … enjoy partying, but those are related to the factual understanding; the OP seemed to want to discover some reasons that she could relate to something she likes/enjoys to get that empathetic understanding.
But I don’t exactly blame ya, MOL, for approaching the OP as one of the annoying and insincere fake questions, since there ARE an irritatingly large number of them on the board.
Hee hee. You like blue…loser.
Yes, but the thing you didn’t do was find a thread where someone else was asking and saying how you didn’t get it either. Plus, having a crush is not something for which a certain group of people like to make fun of another group of people. Talking about how stupid partygoers are is something that actually happens. And it happens usually by the same crowd that brag about how they don’t own a TV, which is common here.
Note that I’m playing a bit of devil’s advocate here: I personally don’t think this thread is an example of the phenomenon MOL is decrying. For one thing, the OP seems pretty sincere, and even came back to post something that made her seem more sincere. For another, the number of hangers on has been fairly low. But I do understand where MOL is coming from, I think.
The only thing I did somewhat see was a hint of “Those stupid extroverts who don’t understand us intoverts,” rather than a more balanced attitude of “Extroverts and intoverts sometimes have trouble understanding each other.” But even that may be something I just read into it. So many nuances are lost in a text only medium.
But that’s not an appropriate analogy. The OP describes why she finds blue appealing, and why she doesn’t find red appealing. She acknowledges that people who like red must have a different experience, and then asks for the specifics of what that is. The appropriate response is to try to find an experience she’s had so to help her relate to it.
And, of course, this all sounds really silly with colors, since the reason people like one color or another are very often the same, so it makes no sense that someone wouldn’t get it. But when describing two very different things, it does make sense.