I’m amazed by how many people think //\etalhea|) is being selfish and insensetive! Of course physical appearance isn’t everything, but sexual attraction is an essential ingredient in any romanic relationship, and if there is something about your partner that turns you off enough that you can’t get over it, forcing yourself to hang on for the other person’s sake isn’t doing anyone any favors.
//\etalhea|), if you can’t get over it, you’ll have to break up with her. And it’s not because your selfish, or childish, or a prick, or unable to see her inner beauty. It’s because the world is full of wonderful people who unfortunately are not sexually attractive to you.
You are young and you want the girl you date to be intelligent and engaging as well as sexually irresistable, and there is nothing wrong with that. Forgive yourself and decide quick whether to fish or cut bait. You are not responsible for this girl’s self esteem.
On the topic of oogling… I’m a very over-jealous guy… I’m going to have to majorly work on that before I get my girlfriend… in some ways it makes me feel kinda unique when I’m the only one that thinks someone (cough Jane cough) is incredibly beautiful.
Not going to be dragged into this one if I can help it, but here is a little food for thought.
I have also had first hand experience of the bad boob job(scars) and the “hard titties” phenomenon. I was also very strongly repulsed. I’m not sure I could get past it, but I’ll admit to not really trying because we both knew at the time the experience was a one-night kind of thing.
Secondly, everyone who is shouting at Metalhead for his “shallowness” should stop and think about why they seem to think it was ok for her to cave to her insecurities and get the modifications but he has to “get over it.” Seems to be a bit of a double standard. Yes I understand the pressure to assert her independence against the ex-boyfriend was a factor, but I don’t believe she would ever have come to that point, ie seriously considering the surgery, if she had simply accepted her body as it was.
American society puts pressure on women to fit an unrealistic image, I understand that, but it still seems somewhat unfair. From what I’ve seen reported about the decision to have the boob job, it was her own choice, the issues with her ex are something else, although they use the boobs as ammo.
Oh, and I consider breast reduction and brest augmentation to be seperate issues. One is primarially done for health resons, the other is done for aesthetic reasons. The end result can be the same as far as scarring and an increase in self-consciousness, but the motives are significantly different.
Thank you, PunditLisa and GreenBean for putting your fingers on exactly what was bugging me about the OP. I knew it wasn’t his personal preference, but I couldn’t figure out exactly what it was. Metalhead, my advice would be to focus on the aspects PL and GB have brought up - I think this is where the real issues lie. Just my opinion, of course. I could be wrong.
