I’m confused, sort of.
Two years and two months ago a girl who I fancied for ages told me she had strong feelings for me, we’d been friends for a long time, and I had feelings for her too. I never acted on my feelings, as she had a boyfriend who I was friends with too, I told her at the time, that nothing could happen if she stayed with him. This was in the december, and they were due to move in to their first house in the February. She agreed that nothing should happen while she was still with him.
However, two weeks later she made a pass at me, and me being male, I responded to this pass, and kissed her back, it was around Xmas time. We started seeing each other behind the bf’s back.
It didn’t last very long, as in the middle of the January we went out (her, him, me and other friends) to a club, we were dancing quite sexily, me and her, and he went ballistic, saying that he suspected something was going on, I put an immediate stop to it, before we got caught for real. We all stayed friends, I said sorry to him for dancing like that with his gf, he accepted it, said he was drunk, and said sorry for acting like he did.
Skip to Valentine’s Day…well a few days beforehand. I was in my local with a mutual friend, and she was there too, with a few girls. We ended up going to the chipper after, just the two of us. She was due to move into the house that week. She made it obvious that she wanted to start things again, but this time I said no, and meant it, nothing happened. I couldn’t be with her knowing she was living with someone else.
Skip now to the August…He was going away for a weekend, and he asked me if I’d mind going down to the house and keeping her company for the 2 nights he was away. My forst reaction was “You Fool…course I will”, I still fancied this girl like mad, and saw this as the perfect oppurtunity to maybe steal a kiss. Well, thats exactly what happened. We started seeing each other again.
We’d see each other maybe 2 nights a week, go to the pub/cinema/wherever. It went on like this until Xmas again. He bought her a holiday to spain for Xmas, they were due to go in March.
I went away for a weekend myself, and it was then that I realised that I loved her, I missed her so much. I decided when I got back that I would tell her. We arranged to go out the night I came home, but before I could tell her I loved her, she told me first. “I Love You” she said to me. I couldn’t believe it.
She went on the holiday with him, and when they got back she said she loved him too, and she wanted to try and make it work in the house with him, so I was left alone again. By this time, me and him had stopped talking, over other issues.
About a month later, I was out with her again, and we kissed again, she said she missed me, and things definitely weren’t working out. She said it was too hard living with him and pretending all the time. Last summer she told him that their relationship was over, she wanted to leave him, they broke up finally.
She couldn’t move out until the mortgage was sorted out, lawyers told her not to.
I didn’t want to start “going out” with her straight away, as she had just broken up with him, still living there and stuff. So, we just kept it kind of a casual but exclusive relationship. I’d be with no-one else, neither would she.
Everything was going fine until this Xmas. We had a pregnancy scare. This seems to have changed her. She has seemed to be pushing me further and further out of her life.
Two weeks ago she went to the pub with some work colleagues(thursday night), but never told me, we saw each other on friday afternoon, and she never mentioned it. I was out on friday night, when an acquaintence of ours said he’d seen her in the pub the previous night. “Strange” I thought, “she never mentioned it”.
I went to their house with a bag full of everything she’d ever given me, and proceeded to smash it. CD’s, Picture Frame, Shot Glass Pack, Clothes. He arrived out of the house, and I told him it had been going on behind his back for 2 years, then went home. I called her a “tart” before I left.
She was understandibly freaked, but texted me the next morning, saying she had done nothing on me. I believed her. She emailed me last teusday, and we went for a chat, she told me I had broken her heart. I told her that I was sorry for acting like I did, and asked if there was any chance to try things again.
Haven’t seen or heard from her since.
How do I get her back, I love her desperately.
Please help.
