Don’t worry, she doesn’t bite. Well, much. I can’t really say whether or not she’ll be here soon. But, she’s here, which means I can’t bad-mouth her any more 
Just kidding. No! Really!
Jimmy
Hi and welcome, MrsJimmy. I see your guy failed to mention the nekkid pix that are required to be posted by all newbies. You’ll be an official member as soon as said pictures are evaluated for completeness, quality, and quantity. 
You may send those pictures by clicking on the “email” button below this post.
Be welcome and enjoy your stay.
Welcome welcome welcome, MrsJimmy!!!
Say, about that username…is this a covert announcement?
Scotti the Noodge
And remember, it’s not an official welcome thread unless Scoticher - whom you may NOT call “Scottage Cheese” or “Scotch Tape” welcomes you. It’s like being bestowed with the keys to the city, or something.
Nekkid pictures? That reminds me…I reeeeally need to update that webpage
Don’t listen to them – naked pictures are not required. A short, but erotic, mpeg would do just fine.
Welcome! Just ignore the riff-raff who want nekkid pictures, unless, of course, you’ve already submitted them.
In which case, I get dibs.
This thread is filled with abominably atrocious male chauvinist sexist pigs who have ignored the most important thing about the new poster, which is NOT “how she looks naked”.
The most important thing is–“how she looks naked while googling”.
<puts finger under DDG’s chin> a-google google goo… a-google google goo…
Wow. This thread turned ugly in a hurry. And no, that username’s not an announcement as of yet.
And as for naked pictures, sorry, but I’m pretty damned sure that’s a priviledge reserved for me.
My apologies…good thing I hadn’t gotten around to mailing these announcement cards. 
Welcome to the boards, MrsJimmy. Please do your best to ignore those lecherous people that seem to abound here… or at least, in this thread.
F_X
Hello and thanks for making me feel soooooo welcome!!! JimSox warned me about you guys! 
I’ll get to working on those pics right away…and if u believe that…It’s great to be a newbie…how long does that last by the way? When do I get to call myself a Doper?? Thanks again everybody.
In your case, you may begin right away.
You become a Doper immediately upon registration (nude photographs have nothing to do with it.)
“Newbieness” lasts only until Post #2, so hurry up and think of something to say. How about, “Thanks for the link to the World’s Best Search Engine”?
www.google.com
It’s my “thing”, don’t worry, you’ll get used to it…
Ignore most of these poeple, MrsJImmy… lthey’re just a tad simple.
Welcome… enjoy your stay… don’t give out your visa or credit card numbers, and never meet any of the dopers without first telling someone else where you’re going first.
have fun.
Okay DDG here is post #2. “Thanks for the link to the World’s Best Search Engine!” Happy?