Call the hospital social worker (call the main phone number and they can connect you) and calmly (**calmly **is the key word here!) find out what their policies are around parental visitation. From my own experiences with several hospitals, unless you have a restraining order against you for the patient, if you are the parent, custodial or otherwise, they cannot stop you from seeing her. If Pie’s mother has a restraining order against you barring you from being within X feet of herself, then the social worker can help you work out visits when Pie’s mother is out of the room.
If there’s no restraining orders involved and you are Pie’s legal parent, I don’t think they have much of a leg to stand on unless you become so upset that you’re interferring with medical care. If a doctor believes that your presence is upsetting the patient and interferring with recovery, then you will be asked to leave. If you are beligerent to the staff and prevent them from treating your daughter or other patients, you will be asked to leave. This is why you must do your best to stay calm here.
Trust me, call the social worker. This is not the first time he’s dealt with this problem, and it won’t be the last. At the very least, he can find out for you what it was you did that got you barred.
I just read all the posts, Tris, and I realize you don’t know me from Adam, but my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
And yes, try to find out WHY they’ve restricted you. My suggestion, too, would be to find someone you trust to talk out the emotional stuff before you go back to the hospital, whether it’s a friend, minister, or whatever so that you’ll be calm enough to be effective.
Thank you for taking the time to keep us posted, and again, thoughts, prayers, & positive energy headed your way.
Your daughter and your family are in my prayers tonight. Try to keep cool and see if you can contact the hospital’s administrative staff to find out why you’re being barred from seeing Sweetie Pie. Hopefully you’ll be back at your daughter’s side in no time, giving her the love and support she needs.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, Tris. My mother was recently released from the hospital after a serious bout with pneumonia. I hope your Sweetie Pie comes away from this well.
I wish I had some profound word of wisdom for you but I just can’t find 'em. Sympathy is the best I can do. If it helps, I had a profoundly handicpped child too and I know a little of what you’re going through. You will get through this.
Everone’s right on one thing. Take care of youself. You’re no good to her if you’re in pieces. Tale time to just sit and catch your breath. Then get after that social worker. Can you talk to Pie’s mother at all? She must be pretty torn up as well and probably not thinking too clearly. Might it be that she’s looking for someone to lash out at and you’re the most available?
I’ve seen both the pictures and even with the profound handicaps, her personality shines through. That smile just glows. It’s plain that wherever she is in her own little world, she’s happy.
To everyone here who has been supportive, and caring for my daughter and me, I assure you it has been a source of much needed strength. I have not had any news today, at all. Tomorrow I will be contacting Hospital Administrators, my lawyer (ongoing suit for guardianship based on interference with court ordered “liberal, and generous visitation” over the last seven years.) and Rachel’s lawyer (court appointed, re the suit.) The rage I have been experiencing all day has . . .
I cannot express what I am feeling. No amount of vituperation will release the hate, and hate is not what I want to feel right now. I only want to see my daughter.
I will come back and tell you all what happens tomorrow.
Prayers for healing for your daughter, and courage, hope, faith and peace for you.
This bears repeating: by taking care of yourself, you are making sure you can be there for her. Remember to sleep some and eat some.
If you have difficulty getting feelings of hostility and anger out of your mind, try praying for peace & grace to change your heart. The Lord can do that for you, just let him in and ask for help.
God be with you, your daugher and your family in these harrowing times.
Still praying. Somehow, somewhere, Pie knows you love her. And wherever you are, and however you are, the Lord loves you both.
Try to lay that anger at his feet. He understands it and he’s big enough to carry it for you. His peace and strength are there for you.
And we’re here for you, too. God’s peace be with you.