OK!! this is a script for a “realism” unit (yeh its meant to be realistic but it sounds more like a comedy…)
Stan is just about to walk out the front door until he is stopped by his mother
Saffron- Sttttaaaaaan… Where are you going now sweetie?
Stan- To hell hopefully… rolls eyes
Saffron- Don’t be silly! I’m your mother! I deserve to know.
Stan- K… Fine I’m going to the movies…
Saffron- I think somebody’s lying!
Stan- You’re 39 and act like a damn 12 year old…
Saffron- Stan don’t swear in this house, god is watching.
Stan- I didn’t swear ya moron
Saffron- I ought to get Rod to come in here and discipline you
Stan- I"M 16! maybe he should discipline you! you’re the one having a god damn affair with him…
Saffron- How dare you say that!! It’s not true, I love him very much and you know your father abandoned me…
Stan- Yes… Of course he abondoned you… He just gave up everything he had to go to America to get that job at the oil company! He even sends you money!!
Saffron- I’m not going to listen to this, I’m your mother and have control! go to your room.
Stan- having troubles trying to take her seriously My… Ah… room ? Well… anyway im going to be late, so GOOD BYE.
Saffron- No… just sit down, I want to talk! Don’t go to those… evil concerts sits down
Stan- That’s good coming from you… sits down
Saffron- WHAT ? stop back chatting your mother, it’s disrespectful.
Stan- So what should we talk about ? The beatles… Titanic ? Jerry springer ?
Saffron- Do you think Jerry is cool ? I do think he is pretty hip… I really loved one episode…
Stan- I remember a good episode, the one about mother’s trying to act younger than they are…
Saffron- Don’t get smart with me… stands up
Stan- Wouldn’t be somthing you’re used to…
Saffron- STAN… What happened to you… picks up an old photograph what ever happened to you…
Stan- Reminiscing about our trip to Disney Land 9 YEARS ago ?
Saffron- Maybe you need councelling ?
Stan- Maybe some group therapy ? Me… you ? Rod and DAD ?
Saffron- Look…I told you not to mention this, its mother’s privacy you’re invading by saying that…
Stan- Can’t handle the truth huh ? stands up
Saffron- You’re really stepping on thin ice here Stan…
Stan- That is my cue to leave ?
Saffron- No! How dare you continue to treat me this way!! I gave you food and shelter your whole life…
Stan- So that makes you a good parent ? cut the bull…
Saffron- I buy you clothes!
Stan- Your talent just never ends… starts walking towards the door
Saffron- I HOPE you are going to work…
Stan- I quit
Saffron- Another opportunity lost…
Stan- It was Macca’s…
Saffron- That could of paved your way for the future
Stan- Paved my arse to slave labour
Saffron- Well you better start studying more… I want to see all A’s…
Stan- How about Dux too ? School captain even ? sits down
Saffron- shakes head a Tutor could help you
Stan- Things have changed a lot since you went to school… You probably dont realise that
Saffron- I’m sick of hearing excuses
Stan- You can be so ignorant, just shut up
Saffron- I’m going to warn you one more time…
Stan- Yadda yadda YADDA! stands up and nearly exits door
Saffron- You know… I am capable of having you evicted from this house ?
Stan- Oh yeh… about that… dont bother cooking dinner for me, I’m not coming back
Saffron- It was a mistake for me to ever of had you…
Stan- Bitch!
Saffron- That’s IT!! I’m going to ring the police!!
Stan- HAHA! Ring a tutor you stupid whore! slams the door and exits