Poetic Justice...a story in need of an ending

Today for your consideration I present the following (ahem) hypothetical situation:

Boyfriend has strong suspicions that girlfriend of two years cheats on him at the drop of a hat, and has in fact caught her in many lies and incriminating circumstances, although she denies everything and swears that she loves him and would never be unfaithful.

He has invested too much time, money and pride to just walk away. This break up must be spectacular, he must catch her in the act and leave her with no defence and no possability of lying her way out. Petty? Yes …but at this point anything less than total victory would be dismal defeat.

He invents a rival, complete with screen name, profile and complete family history who begins to chat with girlfriend on the computer. Naturally, this “rival” knows which of her buttons to push and soon has her eating out of his hand.

Long story short, She agrees to meet this imaginary lover for a weekend long fling and tells boyfriend she is going out of town to visit her sister for the weekend.

At this point I get stuck for the perfect story ending, several possable scenarios come to mind but none really fulfills the need for a truly poetic outcome. No firm plans for the weekend have been made. so there is plenty of room for creativity.

Come on guys, give me a great ending here.

She tells the rival, at the last minute, that she cannot see him. She is in love and she wants to make it work. She has decided that this man is the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with…

Our hero, feeling pretty good about things, arranges intimate candle-lit dinner with her. There is where she breaks up with him.
Oh, man. That is lame. Sorry.

Boyfriend gets to hotel room before girl, gets next to door and makes room as dark as possible. When door opens with girl coming in, he tells her to close her eyes as blindfolds her and says something to the effect of “come hither”.

Boyfriend proceeds to have sex with girl six ways from sunday before pausing to put his clothes back on, having secured girl to bed with chains and such. He says “Do you want to see me now?” Girl, having been tortured long enough, screams out “YES!” Boyfriend says “I want you to say ‘red banana’.” Girl, out of frustration, says “RED BANANA, OKAY? JUST TAKE THE FUCKING BLINDFOLD OFF!”

Friends have been put in adjacent room and are instructed to come running in when they hear “red banana”. Friends see girl naked and exposed on bed with boyfriend standing there fully clothed and quite pleased with himself. Girl is at a loss for words and moves to another state that day.

G/F goes to Hotel. B/F is late. G/F meets up with some dude she mistakes for guy she is supposed to meet and fucks him in the coat room. B/F gets there just as she’s stumbling out of the coat room. B/F pulls out gun, shoots the bitch in the face, shoots the unfortunate sap who just wnated to get his sex on, gets in a big chase scene with the cops, mows down some pedestrians (Hell, why not, it’s already a double homocide), makes it to Mexico, hooks up with some honey named “Maria” (or other generic spanish name), and flys off to a country with no laws about exporting criminals back to the U.S. of A. where they happily ever after on the money he transferred from her trust fund to an unnamed swiss bank account.


VaHermit, you are f-in GENIUS!

If I were you, I’d go for simplicity and wrap things up by setting up an appointment to meet and greet this cyber-lover, and instead show up yourself. Perhaps a spit in the face might be appropriate?

You could also go for the more devious and less reliable route of having a friend of your’s she doesn’t know (tricky after 2 years!) make the appointment. Should you find such a stand in, you could do all kinds of wonderful things, such as the aformentioned chaining to a bed trick.

As soon as she is naked/secured to bed, you could jump out, usher your friend out of there and take pictures or scream obscene things at her. I’d do both :wink:

— Angry Lover

Maybe he shows up at the hotel as above with the blindfold and chains, but instead of The red bannana schtick, turns the lights, and throws a penny at her. When she asks why, he replies " I always pay a whore what she is worth."

VAHermit, did you read Sofa King’s thread here?

bf tells gf to meet him in certain hotel room at specific time, “the door will be unlocked and ill be waiting for you”

bf gets another woman and is having sex with her in the room when gf walks in

bf stops, pretending to be totally shocked and screams out, “oh my god! what are you doing here??? do you have time for lunch? im almost through here”

Here’s the sort of ending I would prefer, especially if the cyber-guy buildup has been really elaborate.

He realizes that he’s over her. Somehow in the midst of all this scheming and revenge planning, he’s been cured of the need to humiliate her. He moves all his stuff out and goes on with his life.

You could add in, or even end with a scene of her drumming her fingers irritably on the cafe table as she waits for the date that will never show up.

Va, if I may be so bold as to call you that, this is truly beautiful. Just beautiful!!! Clap clap clap! And please let us know how this works out.

As for a spectacular ending…


I like the idea of getting someone you know and she doesn’t to play the part of the other guy and meet her. But don’t start out at a motel - make it last longer - make sure she’s really invested in this guy. Have them go places - get pictures of the happy couple, stuff like that. Have them go to dinner - have your pal tape record the conversation and pre-pillow type talk (that way she can’t lie about her intentions later). Then, when they’re back at the hotel, have him supposedly order “champagne from room service” but really be calling you - YOU show up with it, and dump it on her head. Then, you and your buddy leave. Stick her with the bill for everything.

Nah, that’s pretty sucky now that I reread it. Someone with more imagination than I have should be working on this.

You know, you could always call the Jerry Springer show - they’ll send a video camera and everything out to your house and help you catch her in the act, taping it for a show later. Then you can humiliate her on national TV! Cool, huh? :smiley:

[minor hijack]
Not saying it wouldn’t happen, but just that I think that’s highly unlikely. I’ve been cheated on 4 times in my life, and I will never ever ever forget them. And though I won’t ever act on, I will always want some kind of retribution(sp?) for it.

I realize we’re all different people, and that my views may not nessecarily reflect those of the OP, but IMHO, cheating people deserve anything that’s coming to them, and all the bad karma they can get.
[/minor hijack]

I mean no offense to anyone by my post, this is just one of my issues.

  1. Set up a PO box drop where you can easily pick up mail.

  2. Use your powers of persuasion to get GF to send Fakeboy a sexy (as sexy as possible) photo or Polaroid, addressed to said box. Make sure it’s got what you asked for in it.

  3. Make reservations under Fakeboy’s name at a restaurant that’s got a bar commanding a good view of the dining area but can’t be well seen from the dining area. Or some place where you can be out of the way and not observed. Get yourself a strong drink, preferably of some alcohol you can’t stand. And a coke. Drink the coke only.

  4. Invent some excuse for not being home before she leaves and get there at least half-hour before the reservation. Bring the letter.

  5. Once you’re sure she’s seated and waiting, walk out with the drink, catch sight of her, and walk on over. “I thought you were going out of town to visit your sister.”

  6. She should start explaining herself at this point. You can either wait until she’s finished or until you’ve had enough. At this point, pull the photo out of your pocket, put it gently on the table, and wait a beat. Then, VERY quietly, say, “It’s over, you lying bitch” and fling the drink in her face. Walk out and don’t ever, ever look back.


Yeah, I know the feeling, I just think that getting on with things would be the sweetest revenge in this case. He’s already wasted too much time on her.

Acting out a big scene is great, for about an hour, but it doesn’t last. What better way to let her know she’s a loser than to not even bother to show up?

Revenge is one of my issues. I’ve seen people lose huge amounts of time dreaming of the perfect payback. There is no such animal.

Anyhow, this is just fiction. I simply wrote the ending I would enjoy most.

Thanks for all of the suggestions, folks. Although I really hadn’t planned for the villan to get killed and the hero to spend his remaining days as a hunted fugitive, some were quite good. A few of the hotel scenes were pretty close to some of my own.

There is a co-conspirator in the plot. He entered two weeks ago when virtual-man needed a picture to send. Co-conspirator is enjoying the game and is willing to help boyfriend carry it through.

One plan we came up with was this: Co and girlfriend meet for the evening and party a bit, then go to their room (a double) for the nights entertainment (this is fine with boyfriend, who really just doesn’t care anymore). After girlfriend goes to sleep, co lets boyfriend into room. When girlfriend wakes up, she finds the two of them in their underwear on the bed next to her. They smile at her and say that they’ve decided they both prefer each other to her and would she kindly leave so they could be alone.

Just a thought, nothing final yet except that virtual-man is going to come down with the flu and beg out of this weekend, boyfriend needs at least another week to set something up.

Thanks again all, I’ll let you know how the story ends.