Some more I thought up:
Lightning-quick blinking
The uncanny ability to tell the exact moment a burger has been cooked medium well
Generating a magnetic field so that when you flip a coin, it lands heads up 60% of the time.
The ability to smell into the future
Can telekinetically control Kleenex, one sheet at a time
Hmmm…it seems my wife has a superpower, then.
I’d make a fortune.
The ability to eat corn on the cob without getting any stuck between your teeth.
The ability to determine the cinematographer of a film merely by watching the trailer.
One Hundred times the average man’s belly-button lint production.
Super-strong eyelashes
The ability to not be charged for towels and bathrobes missing from hotel rooms.
Fuckin’ eh!
The ability to summon all nearby fishsticks and frozen seafood to do your bidding.
The ability to translate any language into modern Sanskrit.
The ability to know all about any snail, just by touching it.
Projectile vomiting on demand.
Behold my Super-White Superpowers! I can do that! 
The ability to make any goat you come in contact with really dislike you.
The ability to control the weather…on Neptune.
Super speed…but only while sleep walking.
The ability to change the color of the socks of anyone besides yourself.
Telekinetic ability limited to just bending spoons.
The ability to poke yourself in the eyes with extreme precision.
The ability to see the cosmic microwave background.
Useless? You haven’t met my cat, have you?
The first two aren’t useless at all, and the 3rd can be used to amuse teenagers…and blow up balloons for free…