Considering that after you marry, sex is expected to remain inside the marriage… I would say SEX is IMPORTANTO.
Sexing is good fun. It can be pleasure to the tenth power. A feeling like no other.
If you promise to have only one other person who will touch, stroke, love, kiss, see your parts, I should hope you would be content with how it’s done.
I think that what is less important than sex before marrige is hte ability to talk about sex before marrige: almost anything can be fixed if a couple can talk effectively about it. The couples that I worry about are the ones that, having sex or no, can’t look each other in the eye and talk about what they have done/will do.
Sex is very important in a marriage. I like the yeast/bread analogy-- indispensable, affects the whole product, but not necessarily a huge part of it. There are ups and downs in a married sex life, and that’s OK, as long as you have some perspective about it and cuddle plenty. I think most problems in that line can be solved if both parties love each other and are open about it. If those ingredients are missing, then there are probably bigger problems afoot.
We waited until marriage. As someone who has been in your position, godzilla, I will say that I think you can tell pretty well how things will go. If you turn each other on now, and can talk openly about sexual matters, then it will very probably be just dandy. You will also probably need a few weeks of practice before you two get good at it; don’t expect incredible fireworks on your wedding night in that sense. (Wedding nights, however, are usually pretty great even without flawless technique. Trust me here.)
People have spoken already about their resons why sex before marriage is a good idea. Here are mine about why waiting is good:
The loving bond between us was cemented and made stronger by it. We started our married life with a bang, so to speak (:p), it’s difficult to describe what I mean, but it was and is a great feeling. (I am also very glad I never had to do the fumbling thing with anyone else!) We have never had to worry about what either of us may have done with others; no comparisons, no worries about measuring up. It’s completely private between us, our own little world, and we like it that way. Not to mention the lack of disease worries.
(And now for the practical side of things. Godzilla, you should take KY jelly on your honeymoon. It is your best friend. Also, godzillabride should always pee afterwards. I have many other bits and bobs of advice, should you want them; just ask. :))
–QtM, are you sure your grandparents meant food cooking?
Because I have, er, issues, I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t completely freak out if physical intimacy got far. This was an issue with one girlfriend I’ve had, though it was far from the reason we broke up.
Current fiancee (then girlfriend when we first started things) understood and was as supportive of me as anyone I’ve ever met. That meant a ton to me in terms of waiting until I was ready.
I couldn’t have been more ready and in a sense I still wasn’t ready, but I know now that the things I thought I should wait for weren’t going to happen for me until sex. I don’t think I would have been okay marrying her if I didn’t know that I’d be okay being close to her.
It’s a personal issue. For me, waiting until marriage would have been a potentially danger thing to do (why wait until you have a legal bond witn someone, and one that is very difficult to break, to start to fully explore one aspect of your relationship with that person? Makes no sense to me). So I didn’t. And she didn’t.
I’m very happy about that. And I hope you and yours, godzillatemple, are as happy with the decision you ultimately make:) It’s yours (plural) to make. Not a church’s, not your parents’. Yours.
You’re assuming that it’s HER performance I’m worried about…
