I think that sez it all, really.
The topic has come up on some other threads here and this happens to be an issue I feel very strongly about. While I truly can appreciate and respect that some people wish to save something so special for that person they believe to be their one true love, I think biological reality makes it impossible to make a healthy decision in this matter.
I have known SO many people who waited and regretted it. Both elderly people who were simply following the mores of the time they were young, and younger people who were at one time deeply religious. 9 out of 10 feel that they made their decisions foolishly.
The sex drive (for most people, Adam, apparantly not you) is so incredibly powerful…for heaven’s sake it has driven enough people to murder, steal, lie and every other crime imaginable, hasn’t it?.. that it can crowd out any semblence of sanity.
I have always believed that people get married and divorced way too capriciously, and that marriage is a truly sacred commitment. I am saddened and confused by the number of people who enter into marriage almost as though it were just “going steady”. I think we should all have plenty of time and experience under our belts before we can even HOPE to be able to really understand what tru love and commitment are, and what we are really doing when we are marrying someone.
I finally found mine… and it took 40 years. I had been engaged in the past, but I recognized that I was doing it for the wrong reasons. For most people, especially those who want children, one would hope it would come sooner. But for me, I would have gone nuts if I hadn’t had sex until I was into my 40’s, not to mention the fact that if I had been a virgin all those years it would have made me a radically different person and I never would have found the true love I did.
Besides all of that, most of know that sex is something we did very badly in the beginning, and that years of practice and exploration has taught us about ourselves, what we need, what we want, what we can live without. And finding out that those things are not in sync with your spouse after the deed is done would be horrible.
In conjunction with this I think that marriage should be DIFFICULT to get into, and divorce should be easy.
Just my thoughts this evening.