I was dating a girl who was very sensual but was holding out on me some of the more… fulfilling aspects of a sex life. There were a number of things she just wouldn’t do. Yet.
On my birthday she gave me a card that said, “Use me for your pleasure. Nothing is off limits.”
I didn’t even take advantage of the offer to the extent I would have thought I would- just getting the offer made me melt.
Third time in bed with this one girl, after her having said earlier “I’ll sleep in your bed again but I am not going to have sex with you until it’s just right”:
“It’s just right.”
Same girl, sotto voce, during a meal in a very expensive restaurant, with a bright and perky expression as if she were going to talk about a tennis game or something: “I want to suck your cock.”
I forgot to mention this one, although it’s something that’s been done, not said to me. Occasionally when my wife and I are out either by ourselves or with others- just another couple or a large group- and we’re dressed up, occasionally she’ll surprise me by coming back from the ladies room and slipping her g-string into my hand or my suit pocket, while giving me a kiss.
Her: I’m exhausted! I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to drive. Is it OK if I crash here?
Me: Sure, not a problem at all. I’ll sleep out here on the couch and you can have the bed.
Her: I should tell you, I can’t sleep alone if I’m in a place I don’t know really well, so we’ll have to share the bed…oh, and I just toss and turn if I’m wearing any clothes at all, so you’ll understand that I have to be completely in the buff.
Me: OK, that’s…just fine with me.
Her: Oh, and if I’ve been out drinking and I’m with a man I really like, I can’t go to sleep without an orgasm or two. I should mention that you’re a man I really like.
During the early phase of the relationship, we sent a lot of e-mails. Something like a dozen per day. One topic that came up every day was what color panties she was wearing. Then we went on a date. We were in her car and I asked her what the color of the day was. She wouldn’t tell me, and made me guess. White? No. Pink? No. Black? No. I got tired of guessing, and – without looking, mind you – stuck a couple of fingers up her skirt. Oh, blue!
Half an hour later, in the restaurant, all of the diners could easily tell that they were blue. We were… demonstrative.
I have long been a firm believer in the old saw of, “It’s not what you say, but how you say it.” Remember Joey on “Friends.”
“How you doin’?”
But there was one time…I had just started up a conversation with a young lady whom I had thought I recognized and I had said, something to the affect of, “Say, aren’t you the girl in my bio-chem class?” and she responded, “I’ll be anyone you want me to be.”
Unfortunately my response to her wasn’t quite so cool. As I remember it was something to the affect of, “…ahh, um, abaa…um, ahh…”