Poll: Would you actually "lay the smack down"?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Sort of inspired by this thread and something I’ve been pondering…

I’m a girl who has grown up as the only girl in a family of older, larger, somewhat scruffy male cousins and a brother. I’ve joked from time to time with my boyfriends that if they lay a hand on me, those are the big mean fellas who have got my back.

But I wonder under what circumstances they would actually find and beat up a male who had “done me wrong.” I am guessing it’s not really that likely.

If there was a circumstance where I was physically harmed by a guy in their presence there’s no doubt that the oldest, largest and scruffiest cousin would inflict some pain on the dude. The younger one might just restrain him. My brother, wonderful as he is, would probably just call the cops.

If I told one of these guys that someone I was with had laid hands on me (but not in their presence), I’m not sure they’d “go after” him. I doubt I would want them to.

Now, being a large, scruffy woman myself with a 3rd degree brown belt in a defense-oriented martial art I am definitely my own first line of defense and do not necessarily need any “backup” but it’s good to know it’s there. Personally, I once had the opportunity (before martial arts) to lay a heavy physical blow on my moron of an ex-boyfriend but fear of litigation stopped me from doing so. So even I wouldn’t lay the smack down, it seems.

So, if a poll requires points…

  1. What’s your gender?
  2. Who might you most be inclined to “lay the smack down” on behalf of?
  3. Have you ever had to do such a thing, or have you had such a thing done on your behalf?
    My answers…
  4. Female
  5. My brother…if the smack-ee was female. My mom, no doubt. Perhaps my younger, girly cousin. But only if she was assaulted in front of me (I don’t think I’m inclined to seek someone out)
  6. No. Almost, sort of. But no.
2
  1. What’s your gender?

Male.

  1. Who might you most be inclined to “lay the smack down” on behalf of?

Anyone, really. Family, friend, complete stranger assaulted in the street…

  1. Have you ever had to do such a thing, or have you had such a thing done on your behalf?

No, not really. It’s never come to violence (fortunately, I guess, given my none-too-impressive stature).

3

Some one would have to physically lay hands one me, my sons or some one else I loved before I’d actually “lay the smack down”

I’m male.

Lastly; I used to work part time as a bouncer so I’ve had to get a little physical with people at times but nowhere near what I would consider to be the “smack down”
I’ve got a Teflon back so maybe that’s helped me a bit as far as me gotten all pissed off at someone when they were being an ass to me.

I HAVE however gotten into a few squabbles as a teenager though. (Boy I’m glad those days are over.)

4

  1. Female

  2. Does verbally count? I have a mean tongue, I do. Mind you, when I get real mad I mix languages, but the gist gets through all right.
    Does kids count? Several times I had to lay a couple raps to get two kids to stop fighting, when I was a multi-baby-sitter (mostly I got called for birthday parties)

  3. Hm… I’ve thrown a 10lb book at Gramps when he caught me by surprise as I was taking off my T-shirt (he kept trying to catch us naked); I once got called over by a couple who were asking for directions from their car and ended up having to slam the co-pilot’s door closed (didn’t hit her but wouldn’t have minded if I did) and run back in the direction of a nearby street market (where I had friends and even so, if people had seen a girl running from two people they would have stepped in)… once some gipsy girls got it into their minds that the guy one of them liked was lusting after one of my friends (no idea whether he did) and tried to beat us up at the junior dance club (their opening move was trying to kick us in there, which makes me happy that my there is not as vulnerable as a guy’s there), security such as it was got called but by the time they got there we were all standing showing up open palms and they all were struggling under the weight of some guy or other…

5

No, I do not mean verbally. I only mean physically.

6

  1. What’s your gender?
    Female

  2. Who might you most be inclined to “lay the smack down” on behalf of?
    My son

  3. Have you ever had to do such a thing, or have you had such a thing done on your behalf?
    No, and technically, no.

7

  1. Male

  2. Pretty much anyone who needed the help, with the understanding that if they brought it on themselves they’re on their own (I will not step in to save your butt if your mouth got you in trouble in the first place :))

  3. Yes, for sufficiently loose definitions of ‘lay the smack down’. I’ve not gone out and hunted down someone, for example. But I’ve tackled someone who assaulted a woman on the sidewalk and tried to run; I’ve assisted in restraining I don’t know how many shoplifters; and I’ve stepped between a would-be kidnapper and his victim and gave the sonofabitch a bloody nose. I’ve never had trouble with the police because I’ve (so far) always been justified in the force I’ve used, and I’m very. VERY. Careful. I only use as much force as needed, and I paid very careful attention when my mom (a former cop) told me what was safe, what was not, and what was in the gray area. (The bloody nose was not safe, but I was pissed and he wasn’t backing off, and I didn’t think he’d go to the cops anyway. I was right. :))

So, yeah, if those count, I’ve laid down the smack (heh). But I’m not sure if they quite fit your definition.

8

  1. Male

  2. If friends or family were assaulted, I’d take action. If I were actually there, the action would be separating the victim from the batterer. In my community, the police and the courts do not take domestic violence lightly. I don’t have to personally put the hurt on anybody; that’s what we pay the police for. In fact, if I thumped the thumper, I’d go to jail, too. A quick call to 911 will put the beater in jail. Smooth talking won’t help. A DV call always means somebody’s going to jail. I’d take the victim to the emergency room, where there are special procedures for the battered. Photos and x-rays are taken for evidence. If counseling and temporary safe housing are needed, the Alternatives, Inc. victims shelter is a block away.

  3. I have never been in such a situation, nor has anyone beat me up. I’m a very big guy, and I’m also easygoing and non-violent. That combination seems to persuade people away from starting a fight with me. I don’t know, maybe I exude peace and calm. :stuck_out_tongue:

9
  1. Female.
  2. My kids or myself.
  3. Yes, and yes.

Details – I have been in a few situations where because of my small size (barely over 5’ and barely over 100lbs) people assumed that I would be incapable of defending myself and have attacked me. I may be short, and small, but I am vicious and quite possibly mentally unstable. The most notable case being a time in which I confronted a classmate (when I was in high school) about some things he said about me. Said classmate was 6’6" and weighed around 180. Not terribly intimidating, but still. He swung at me and missed and I “layed the smack down” as it were. I still run into people who bring up his hospital stay. Not something of which I am proud, but at the same time, I know that I am not scared of walking alone at night.

As for having had it done on my account – again, because of my size, I have had a few instances where male friends/paramours “defended my honour” for whatever reason. Silly, if you ask me.

10
  1. What’s your gender?

Female

  1. Who might you most be inclined to “lay the smack down” on behalf of?

My boys, family members, well except for my sister as she probably started it.

  1. Have you ever had to do such a thing, or have you had such a thing done on your behalf?

Not physically, but the chick that gave pot to my oldest last summer while he was waiting for the bus to take him to school is still afraid of me.

When I was a younger and dating way out of my league (ie 16 but looked 18 dating a 21 yro sailor), said sailor didn’t understand that no meant no. Screams brought my friend and her boyfriend, a Navy Seal. Said sailor woke up in hospital.

11

  1. What’s your gender? Female

  2. Who might you most be inclined to “lay the smack down” on behalf of? Just about anyone I care about.

  3. Have you ever had to do such a thing, or have you had such a thing done on your behalf? Yep, I laid the smack down on more than one occasion and as recently as November assisted my husband with smacking down and 86ing my psycho druggie BiL from MiL’s house after he attempted to assault her.

12
  1. What’s your gender?

Male

  1. Who might you most be inclined to “lay the smack down” on behalf of?

I am not laying the smack down on behalf of any male who is in a position to do so himself but chooses not to. I will hand him a baseball bat and even “lead the charge” so to speak, but I’m not making that decision for him.

Any of my girls get hurt, and they do not have time or desire to ask me not to, somebody is going to hurt if I find them. A few of my friends routinely leave “how to find him” notes with me, if they are going to meet anybody new from the Internet or somesuch. Thankfully I’ve never not gotten that “I’m home safe” call.

  1. Have you ever had to do such a thing, or have you had such a thing done on your behalf?

The few times this came up I was either begged not to or prompted resolution of the situation by virtue of my presence (and once by virtue of having a Russian name :smack: )

13
  1. Male.
  2. Any of my sisters. Any of my nieces. My youngest nephew. My son’s mother, and her daughter. And probably my father, since he’s old.
  3. Let’s see…I placed my body between a woman on the bus who was leaving her abusive boyfriend, and the boyfriend who was trying to pull her off the bus; and I defended a small dog who was chained up outside the neighborhood drugstore from a crazy homeless guy who was hitting it for no apparent reason. Do those count?
14

1.I’m a woman.
2.My sisters and my mother and my cats.
3.Almost

The setting: Third day before the last day of school of the 12th grade. Orchestra room, early afternoon.

The senior orchestra members are assembled for practice. We’re supposed to play at the baccalurate ceremony. We’re scheduled to play Corelli’s “Christmas Concerto”. My twin sister is supposed to play the second violin solo. I am sitting in the viola section, wondering why the hell we never play anything with a viola solo.

The target of my almost-smack-down is there. She dropped out of the orchestra earlier in the year and is back for the final performance. Why? Because she wants one of the solos, so that she can show off for her mother (which she said herself, just not in so many words). And which solo does she want? Well, she doesn’t want the first violin solo, because her friend is doing that one. So she wants the second violin solo. Who has the conductor already given it to, though? That’s right. My sister!

But the conductor is out of the town. How convenient for Miss Solo Thief!

When Miss Solo Thief announces her intentions, the orchestra grumbles. This bitch has the nerve to show up after she abandoned us for the entire school year…and now she wants to take someone else’s SOLO? Just so she can look good to her mommy? Well, my sister is pissed. I look over at her from my seat in the viola section, and I can see that she’s unhappy. Our mother is going to be in the audience too. It’s like Miss Bitch thinks she’s the only one with a proud mother.

But my sister is diplomatic and concedes the solo. She begins by saying “I’m not happy about this, but I guess if you really want to have the solo, you can have it.” She’s barely finished when Miss Solo Thief turns around and starts going off, telling my sister how inconsiderate and mean she’s being (I think she mistook my sister’s tone for sarcasm).

There’s a pause. My sister stands up and starts to walk away. She only takes a few steps before she starts crying.

I put down my viola and time freezes.
Before I know it, the entire orchestra is holding me back and pulling me over to the wall. All I know is that my sister is crying and that red-headed bitch is the cause of it. I want to fix her good! I want to introduce her Buckhead to my Bankhead. I resist the restraints but they are strong. Finally, frustrated, all I can do is cry like my sister. I weep for my sister’s lost solo and the special joy my mother (and father AND aunt AND GRANDMOTHER WHO WE RARELY GET TO SEE) won’t get to feel. I weep because I know, despite my bravado, that I’m not brave enough to pull away and beat the living shit out of solo-stealing ho-bag. I’m too much of a “good” girl. All I can do is jump around and pretend that I’m actually ready to fight. Some kids laugh because I’m sure it was hilarious, but really it wasn’t.

Once I start freaking out, Miss Solo Thief starts crying too, claiming that everyone hates her. Someone should have at least slapped her at that moment. That’s my biggest regret. That I did not at least slap her.

We all go back to the gym where the rest of the 12th grade class is assembled. Within a matter of minutes, the whole class knows about the almost-beat-down and I’m suddenly the most popular girl in the school. Even a couple of teachers knew about it! I wore my new reputation as a “tough” girl proudly. Too bad the reputation came four years too late.

Yes, I relive the memory WAY too frequently and intensely. But it still marks the closest I’ve ever come to “laying the smack down” on someone. I will never forget it.

15
  1. Male
  2. My immediate family, any friend I happen to be with, any woman I happen to be around.
  3. Yes, and no. Somebody once did something very inappropriate to one of my family members. I messed him up pretty good. He’s dead now, but not as a result of what I did. People don’t tend to mess with me very often, so nobody has ever had to act on my behalf physically before, but if I ever need it, I’m confident in my friends and their size/abilities.
16

  1. I am a lady (lies!)

  2. I’m quick to jump to my brother’s defense, I’d kill anyone who laid a rough hand on him without thinking, even though he is now taller than me and outweighs me with pure muscle. Also my young cousins and a lot of my younger school friends (girls’ school).

  3. I’ve snared a guy in my own grade who made my brother cry somehow. It was after school in year five (so I was ten) and my girlfriend and I went to the loo quickly while my brother stayed outside. This really weird guy Albert was hanging around, and I really didn’t like this kid’s attitude. When I came out, Max was in tears and pointed at Albert. I said ‘what happened? Why is he crying?’ and Albert just sort of sneered. I got in one good swing to the gut before coming to my sense and taking Max home. To this day, I don’t know what happened.

17

  1. Female

  2. My daughter, at any time, even though she is now much more able to defend herself than I am (several self-defense martial arts classes) (and she looks adorable in her gi and a ponytail). As for other people, it would depend on the circumstances.

  3. Yes, a few times. Twice it was to get away from a would-be rapist. Other times it was because of (unprovoked) physical assaults. Once it was because a guy at work wouldn’t quit clowning around. He was going around, lifting all the female workers, and then spotted me. He said that he bet he could lift me (I weighed about 200 pounds at the time). I said that he probably could, but I didn’t want him to. He got close to me, I told him to not even try, or he’d regret it. He lifted me, I kicked him a good one in the shin. He quickly decided to let me down. I told him that he should NEVER touch anyone if he’s told not to touch, especially if the person is female. He protested that he was just kidding, and I said that I wasn’t kidding, and he should respect people’s boundaries. He did quit horsing around with the girls at work, which was quite a relief to them. And no, I didn’t get in trouble for it. After all, he started it. I did reinforce my reputation as a cast iron bitch, but I consider that to be a GOOD thing.

18

  1. Male

  2. Yes

  3. Yes. For family, friends and on two occasions for complete strangers (rescuing kid being picked on in school grounds and once taking out a purse snatcher who was running very fast and wasn’t looking where he was going. I can still feel the magnificent cliched sickening thud as I connected with him, and see in my mind’s eye the bewildered, peaceful look on his face as he hurtled to the ground). It was the sickening thud of JUSTICE!

19

Male
Yes.
Yes.