Polls only: No discussion

[Cardigan]

How do you pronounce the second month of the year?

• Feb-you-airy
• Feb-roo-airy
• Throat Warbler Mangrove

[DCnDC]

What mows your grass?

• Manual reel mower
• Gas mower
• Electric mower
• Robotic mower
• The guy I pay to do it
• I don’t; I just let it grow
• I don’t have grass to mow
• I have grass but I’m not directly responsible for it (I rent and the landlord handles it, HOA covers it, etc.)
• Something else

[Thudlow_Boink]

Chicken wings are…

• The best part (or one of the best parts)
• The worst part (or one of the worst parts)
• Somewhere in between (or, not particularly better or worse than any other part)
• I don’t eat chicken (or otherwise don’t have an opinion)

[DCnDC]

I’m giving out Martinis but these are all I can make.

Which do you want?

• Classic (gin, olives)
• Vodka
• Dirty
• Gibson (gin, onions)
• I don’t care for Martinis

[WildaBeast]

If you don’t have grass to mow it’s because:

• I live in a single family home with a yard that could be grass, but I have some sort of non-grass landscaping there (Drought tolerant desert landscaping, mulch, flowers, concrete*, artificial turf, or anything else that isn’t grass)
• I live in an urban single family townhouse/row house where there is no yard at all (Like a brownstone or something like that)
• I live in a multi unit apartment building or condo; there’s no grass that I’m responsible for maintaining (Either it’s a common area that the apartment/condo management maintains, or you’re in an urban area where there’s no grass at all)
• I don’t have grass to mow because I’m technically homeless, couch surfing, or similar
• I don’t have grass to mow but it doesn’t fit any of the above descriptions
• I do have grass to mow and I insist on voting in every poll.

*Really, someone in my neighborhood replaced their entire front lawn with concrete.

[Velocity]

Have you found the aphorism of “when a family has two daughters, the elder will generally be more serious, have a harder time finding a mate and less popular, while the younger will be more vivacious, popular and get all the guys” to be largely correct?

• yes
• no

[elfkin477]

Does your current supervisor - or if you are self-employed, unemployed, or retired, your most recent supervisor - want to be asked permission for you to take time off, or informed when you will be taking time off?

• I need to ask if I can take x date off
• I just let my supervisor know that I plan to take x date off

[Procrustus]

For this poll, frequency doesn’t matter. Anything from occaisionally to frequently is fine. If it’s “just that one drunk time in Vegas,” you can say no.

I’m a man and get manicures.

• Yes
• No

I’m a man and get pedicures

• Yes
• No

I’m a woman and get manicures

• Yes
• No

I’m a woman and get pedicures

• Yes
• No

[Velocity]

Your employer starts putting up informative posters on the inside of each restroom stall door - posters about things like Graham’s Number and TREE(3), the size of the universe, facts about neuroscience, eye structure, and other things about biology, chemistry, geography, history, etc. That way you can read it while sitting on the loo.

• Sounds good
• No, not something I’d want in the lavatory

[WildaBeast]

How did you learn this rhyme as a child? Fill in the blank.

Great _____ globs of greasy grimy gopher guts.

• big
• green
• Some other word goes in that blank
• I never learned that rhyme as a child

[eschereal]

as a child, you heard

• … catch a tiger by the tail …
• some other word that was not “tiger”

[Karen_Lingel]

Do you understand why e.l.f. makeup commercials tout that their products are so sticky your face will stick to objects and doors?

• Yes, that’s a great message
• No, that’s super gross.
• I’ve never seen that commercial
• I’m a special snowflake who needs an additional option.

Does the commercial make you want to go out and buy some e.l.f sticky makeup?

• Yes
• No
• No, but Jennifer Coolidge is a national treasure
• Special snowflake here: I still need another option

[Karen_Lingel]

Would you like to see the e.l.f commercial?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzE68RiXbT8

• Yes
• No, thank you
• I STILL NEED A SPECIAL OPTION!!!

[RollOutTheBarrel]

Do you add “in bed” to the end of fortunes you get from fortune cookies?

• Yes
• No
• I’ve never had a fortune cookie.
• My fortune says “other”.

[DCnDC]

Do you like your job?

• Yes. I love what I do!
• It’s okay. I don’t hate it.
• There are parts I like and parts I hate.
• I don’t hate it but I’d rather be working on something else.
• It’s just a paycheck; I’d take almost any better offer in a heartbeat.
• Hate it. Frequently I seriously consider injuring myself just to get out of it.
• I’m retired from a job/career that I loved.
• I’m retired from a job/career that I tolerated.
• I’m retired from a job/career that I hated.

[Fear_Itself]

Do you Accept All Cookies?

• Always
• Sometimes
• Never

[ParallelLines]

Assuming you own an ICE vehicle (or if not, based on your habits on your previously owned ICE vehicle), AND you are in the same town as your main residence, do NORMALLY refuel

• When your tank is at or just below 3/4 full?
• When your tank is at or just below 1/2 full?
• When your tank is at or just below 1/4 full?
• When your tank show at/about empty but the low fuel indicator hasn’t come on?
• When your low fuel indicator comes on?
• Bacon Hindu Atheists refill my car with their magical abilities, so I don’t know

Same as above, but instead of being in/near your home, you’re on a long (6 hours plus) road trip.

• When your tank is at or just below 3/4 full?
• When your tank is at or just below 1/2 full?
• When your tank is at or just below 1/4 full?
• When your tank show at/about empty but the low fuel indicator hasn’t come on?
• When your low fuel indicator comes on?
• Bacon Hindu Atheists refill my car with their magical abilities, so I don’t know

Same as above Again, but instead you’re away from home (Vacation, Visiting Family, etc) and you’re driving in a location you’re not familiar with, although you’re staying in/near one city, not going on long trips.

• When your tank is at or just below 3/4 full?
• When your tank is at or just below 1/2 full?
• When your tank is at or just below 1/4 full?
• When your tank show at/about empty but the low fuel indicator hasn’t come on?
• When your low fuel indicator comes on?
• Bacon Hindu Atheists refill my car with their magical abilities, so I don’t know

[Elendil_s_Heir]

Ford pardons Nixon

• Good idea
• Bad idea

[Elendil_s_Heir]

Clinton pardons his half-brother Roger

• Good idea
• Bad idea

[Elendil_s_Heir]

Trump pardons Roger Stone

• Good idea
• Bad idea