Polls only: No discussion

The next time you go shopping, the lot is going to be packed. There are 3 open parking spaces.

One spot is near the doors of the store you’re going to, but you have to either back into the spot or out of the spot when you leave. And it’s far from a corral to return shopping carts.

One spot is far from the entrance but you can pull through the space behind it and avoid needing to back in or out. And it’s far from a corral to return shopping carts.

The last spot is near a cart corral, but it’s far from the entrance and you will need to back in or out.

Thinking about what you will likely be picking up during this next shopping trip of yours, which spot is the most likely to appeal to you?

  • I’m a man: The spot nearest to the door
  • I’m a man: The spot I can pull through
  • I’m a man: The spot nearest a cart corral
  • I’m a woman: The spot nearest to the door
  • I’m a woman: The spot I can pull through
  • I’m a woman: The spot nearest a cart corral
0 voters

Regardless of what your political leanings are, where do you live?

  • A blue state
  • A red state
  • Neither
0 voters

(and on the micro level):

  • A blue city/town/county
  • A red city/town/county
  • Neither
0 voters

Do you pronounce the word “caramel” as “CAR-ml” and wonder why this option was left off all the other polls?

  • Yes
  • I pronounce it that way but don’t wonder about the other polls
  • I pronounce it some other way but did wonder about the polls thing
  • No and no
  • I never speak the word “caramel” out loud. IT IS FORBIDDEN.
  • What is this “caramel” of which you speak? I have never heard of it.
0 voters

How good at parenting were your parents during your childhood? On a 0 -10 scale, bad = 0-3; average = 4-6; good = 7-10. If your situation varied, use the most common configuration.

  • Both were good
  • Both were average
  • Both were bad
  • Mom was good, dad was average
  • Mom was good, dad was bad
  • Mom was average, dad was good
  • Mom was average, dad was bad
  • Mom was bad, dad was good
  • Mom was bad, dad was average
  • I only had a mom, she was good
  • I only had a mom, she was average
  • I only had a mom, she was bad
  • I only had a dad, he was good
  • I only had a dad, he was average
  • I only had a dad, he was bad
  • I did not grow up with my parents
  • Other / it’s complex / and it’s all because your mama don’t dance and your daddy don’t rock and roll
0 voters

Your views on occasionally using the company’s printer to print personal documents:

  • This is tantamount to theft.
  • It’s at least somewhat unethical.
  • There’s nothing wrong with doing this.
0 voters

Do you occasionally use your company’s printer to print personal documents?

  • Yes, I do this myself.
  • No, I have never done this myself, but could see myself doing it in the future.
  • No, I have never done this myself, and would never do so.
0 voters

What would you do if you caught a colleague occasionally using the company printer to print personal documents?

  • I would report them.
  • I would chastise them but not report them.
  • I would do nothing.
0 voters

Online, when using accounts (guest or otherwise) that are not tired to your IRL (In Real Life) Identity, do you find that you are:

  • Generally meaner than IRL?
  • Generally nicer than IRL?
  • Generally meaner than IRL, but much nicer when moved?
  • Generally nicer than IRL, but much meaner when moved?
  • Really just about the same?
  • It depends on the Day?
  • Generally about the same, but with increased amplitude (meaner and nicer, no change in frequency)?
0 voters

I get groceries at the:

  • Grocery store
  • Market
  • Supermarket
0 voters
0 voters

I get groceries at the:

(Pick as many as you want.)

  • ordinary grocery store
  • large supermarket
  • big-box store
  • co-op
  • farmers’ market
  • convenience chain store
  • independent corner-style market
  • Mennonite (or similar) store
  • bodega
  • Asian grocery
  • other “ethnic” market
  • online
  • other
0 voters

I buy some groceries at an “upscale” food store like Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods:

  • Yes
  • No
  • I don’t have any stores like that in my area
  • I consider those to be regular grocery stores
  • Nemo didn’t understand that one of the options in thorny locust’s poll covered this
  • Other
0 voters

Wait. Trader Joe’s is upscale?

  • It is
  • It’s not
0 voters

BUM ba-da-DUM. Ba-DUM. Ba-DUM.

  • You can’t touch this!
  • She’s a super freak! Super freak! She’s super freaky.
0 voters

It’s summer!

Were you taught to swim as a kid? Check all that apply

for the final question assume that you were put in an emergency situation that is reasonably survivable such as falling into the deep end of a Olympic-size pool or out of a canoe into a lake, and not off a ship miles from shore into the ocean

  • I took a swim class at the Y
  • I took a swim class at a local non-Y pool
  • I took a swim class at a local body of water
  • My school gave us swimming lessons
  • I took some other sort of structured swimming lessons not covered in other answers
  • I was informally taught by a parent, other family member, or a family friend
  • I was not taught to swim as a child, but I can swim now
  • I cannot swim well enough to save myself from drowning (despite lessons)
  • I cannot swim well enough to save myself from drowning (and never got lessons of any kind)
0 voters

Road Trips! How often do you get in a car and drive somewhere more than four hours away?

  • Practically every day
  • Once a week or so
  • Once or twice a month
  • Once or twice a year
  • Once every year or two
  • Maybe once every five to 10 years
  • Basically never
0 voters

Inspired by this long-ago thread: WTF? Pay Up or We Let Your House Burn Down?

In your opinion, the firefighters should have

  • let the house burn down. They chose not to pay for firefighting services; they have to pay the consequences. Sucks to be them.
  • put out the fire and collected the late fee. Yes, the family should have paid ahead of time, but what’s most important is keeping someone’s freakin’ house from burning down, if the firefighters are right there and can pretty easily do so.
0 voters

Under normal circumstances, what is the Maximum amount you are currently willing to pay for a delivered, 16-inch/40.64cm, 1-topping Pizza (not including sales tax if applicable, $5 delivery fee, and tip)?

  • $14 or less.
  • $15-16
  • $17-18
  • $19-20
  • $21-22
  • $23-24
  • $25-26
  • $27-28
  • $29-30
  • $31-32
  • $33-34
  • $35-36
  • $37-38
  • $39-40
  • $41-45
  • $46-50
  • More than $51 :money_mouth_face:
  • Other :yawning_face:
  • I will never buy delivered Pizza, even hypothetically :frowning_face:
0 voters

Who is your favorite character in The Breakfast Club?

  • Allison Reynolds the Basket Case
  • Clair Standish the Princess
  • John Bender the Criminal
  • Andrew Clark the Athlete
  • Brian Johnson the Brain
  • Richard Vernon the Vice Principal
  • Carl the Janitor
  • Allison’s Father
  • Claire’s Father
  • Andrew’s Father
  • Brian’s Mother
  • Brian’s Sister the Brat
  • I don’t have one because I am insipid.
  • I have never seen that movie. :astonished:
  • I can’t answer straightforward polls like this in the normal way, so: Other! :yawning_face:
0 voters
  • … plus tax, shipping & handling, finance service charge, tip, and some other stuff
  • goddamit, why can’t you guys just tell me up front how much I am going to have to pony up
  • fer chrissake, there ought to be a law
  • mousse (you choose the flavor)
0 voters

I have, on at least one occasion, travelled all the way to work before realizing that I forgot to take my:

  • keys
  • glasses
  • wallet
  • purse
  • medicine
  • tools
  • phone
  • computer
  • documents
  • clothes
  • carpoolers
  • something else important
  • Blessed with an elephantine memory, I have never forgotten to take anything to work.
0 voters

Have you ever been inside the Pentagon?

(inspired by the polls about the White House and Capitol)

  • Yes, I’ve worked there at some point in my life
  • Yes, I’ve been there on other official errands
  • Yes, as some other kind of visitor
  • Does passing through the Metro station count?
  • Or the massive bus transfer station?
  • No, but I’ve drive past / flown near / otherwise seen it from a reasonably close distance
  • Never been anywhere near the place
  • Ma’am, we’d like you to come with us to answer a few question about your recent online activities.
0 voters