Polls only: No discussion

I’m in Thailand this week, and in restaurants they invariably give you a straw to drink anything that isn’t alcoholic. And I invariably set the straw aside because I feel like a child drinking with a straw.

  • I would drink with a straw in a restaurant
  • I would not
0 voters
The Monty Python Cheese shop has reopened! Whattaya having? [choose up to 3]
  • Red Leicester
  • Tilsit
  • Caerphilly
  • Bel Paese
  • Red Windsor
  • Stilton
  • Emmental
  • Gruyère
  • Norwegian Jarlsberg
  • Liptauer
  • Lancashire
  • White Stilton
  • Danish Blue
  • Double Gloucester
  • Cheshire
  • Dorset Blue Vinney
  • Brie
  • Roquefort
  • Pont l’Evêque
  • Port Salut
  • Savoyard
  • Saint-Paulin
  • Carré de l’Est
  • Bresse-Bleu
  • Boursin
  • Camembert
  • Gouda
  • Edam
  • Caithness
  • Smoked Austrian
  • Japanese Sage Derby
  • Wensleydale
  • Greek Feta
  • Gorgonzola
  • Parmesan
  • Mozzarella
  • Pipo Crème
  • Danish Fynbo
  • Czech sheep’s milk
  • Venezuelan Beaver Cheese
  • Cheddar
  • Ilchester
  • Limburger
  • You silly sod! Everyone knows this particular shop has no cheese!
  • A dead parrot
  • A silly walk
  • A dirty fork
  • A hovercraft full of eels
0 voters

How much do you pay for cell phone service every month? If you have a plan that covers more than one phone, divide the cost by the number of phones and report the per phone cost. If someone else pays for your service, report what they pay.

  • Less than $15
  • $15 to $19.99
  • $20 to $24.99
  • $25 to $29.99
  • $30 to $34.99
  • $35 to $39.99
  • $40 to $44.99
  • $45 to $49.99
  • $50 to $54.99
  • $55 to $59.99
  • $60 to $64.99
  • $65 to $69.99
  • $70 to $74.99
  • $75 or more
  • I have a package that includes other services along with cell phone service
  • I don’t know what my cell phone service costs
  • I don’t have cell phone service
  • Something else
0 voters
You need something from the hardware store. Where are you headed?
  • Ace
  • Harbor Freight
  • Home Depot
  • Lowe’s
  • Menards
  • True Value
  • 84 Lumber
  • Somewhere else
  • Depends which one is closer/cheaper/has what I need
  • I have absolutely no preference whatsoever
  • I very rarely or never go to those types of stores
0 voters

What household chores do/did your pets interfere with?

  • changing the bedding
  • cleaning the bathroom
  • cleaning the oven
  • cooking
  • doing the laundry
  • dusting
  • ironing
  • making the bed
  • mowing the lawn
  • sweeping
  • taking out the trash
  • vacuuming
  • washing dishes
  • washing the car
  • washing the floors
  • washing the windows
  • watering the flowers
  • watering the lawn
  • weeding the garden
  • some other chore not listed here
  • My pets have always been perfect angels
  • I have never had any pets
0 voters

I’d rather be

  • a sparrow
  • a snail
0 voters

I’d rather be

  • a hammer
  • a nail
0 voters

I’d rather be

  • a forest
  • a street
0 voters

I’d rather be

  • Simon
  • Garfunkel
0 voters

A female celebrity is reported to be posing topless in a magazine. Which of these do you consider to be “topless” in this sense? Tick all that apply.

  • Tick this box regardless of how many other boxes you ticked.
  • Viewed from back
  • Clothing above waist, but one or both breasts visible
  • No clothing but furniture or other objects strategically placed.
0 voters

Do you think you will live to see the year 2050?

  • Yes
  • No
0 voters

2040?

  • Yes
  • No
0 voters

2030?

  • Yes
  • No
0 voters

count all first-order cousins (same generation biological children of your parents immediate biological siblings – no step siblings), whether they are still with us or not

how many first-order cousins do you have?
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9
  • 10
  • 11
  • 12
  • 13
  • 14
  • 15
  • 16
  • 17
  • 18
  • 19
  • 20
  • 21
  • 22
  • 23
  • 24
  • 25
  • 26
  • 27
  • 28
  • 29
  • 30
  • 31
  • 32
  • 33
  • 34
  • 35
  • 36
  • 37
  • 38
  • 39
  • 40
  • 41
  • 42
  • 43
  • 44
  • 45
  • 46
  • 47
  • 48
  • 49
  • 50
0 voters

If more than fifty, just choose 50

It’s cookie season! I would like to make gingerbread sandwich cookies. These will be two soft gingerbread cookies with some kind of frosting/filling between them. What kind of frosting/filling do you think sounds best. I’m going to give you two votes. (You’re welcome.)

  • Creamy vanilla frosting
  • Fluffy marshmallow frosting
  • Ginger frosting
  • Cinnamon frosting
  • Cream cheese frosting
0 voters

When I take pills I normally …

  • Put the pills in my mouth and then wash them down with water like a normal person.
  • Put water in my mouth then add the pills so I don’t have to taste them while I’m getting the water.
  • Water is for wimps I swallow them dry
  • I’m a Christian Scientist I’ve never taken a pill
0 voters

You go shopping with your friend at the supermarket and she begins purchasing live lobsters, crabs, and flounder from the big aquarium at the fresh seafood section. You think she is about to prepare a meal later, but instead she chirps, “New pets for the saltwater fish tank in the living room.” How do you feel?

  • approve
  • disapprove
0 voters

A new show that you want to watch has just been released on a streaming service you subscribe to. When do you typically watch it?

  • The next time I watch TV
  • As soon as I finish the season I’m on of whatever show I’m in the middle of watching
  • As soon as I finish all the available seasons of whatever show I’m in the middle of watching
  • I wait until after I’ve watched all the other shows that were ahead of it in my watchlist
  • I do two or more of these depending on how badly I want to watch it
  • I don’t have any pattern or routine as to when I watch stuff. I just watch whatever I’m in the mood for that day.
  • I don’t do streaming, but I just want to be included in the poll
0 voters
Do you feel like you are adequately “represented” in Congress?
  • Absolutely!
  • Somewhat.
  • Not really.
  • In some ways “yes,” in other ways “no.”
  • HA-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa!
  • Not even a little bit, and it’s not funny.
  • I don’t really know how to quantify that.
  • I’m not American, so no.
0 voters

What is your favorite movie directed by Mel Brooks?

  • The Producers
  • The Twelve Chairs
  • Blazing Saddles
  • Young Frankenstein
  • Silent Movie
  • High Anxiety
  • History of the World: Part I
  • Spaceballs
  • Life Stinks
  • Robin Hood: Men in Tights
  • Dracula: Dead and Loving It
  • I’ve never seen any of these movies
0 voters

From your home, how long does it take you to to get to the closest airport with regularly scheduled commercial passenger flights, using whatever mode of transport you would normally use to get there? If you would take Uber or a taxi, start from the time they pick you up, do not include the time waiting for the taxi or Uber to arrive.

  • 15 minutes or less
  • 16-30 minutes
  • 31-45 minutes
  • 46-60 minutes
  • Over an hour, but less than 1.5 hours
  • Over 1.5 hours, but less than 2 hours
  • Over 2 hours
0 voters

BIC Lighter “safety band”:
  • Leave it on
  • Pop it off
  • I have no opinion on this subject whatsoever
  • Is that a “Men Without Hats” song?
0 voters

Mean Mr Mustard signs his posts ‘mmm’

  • It’s his initials
  • It’s a happy sound he makes when posting: “mmm”
  • Why can’t it be both?
0 voters

Ice cream:

  • m
  • mm
  • mmm
0 voters

mmm

When Mean Mr Mustard posts doing a handstand

  • He signs off “www”
  • Don’t be ridiculous
0 voters

I expect there’s a joke to be made out of EEE but I’m not sure how to make it land