Polls only: No discussion

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
4749

Here’s your chance to influence the course of American politics! For each of the two major parties’ presidential candidates, you must vote for three of the following additions to their fashion. The candidate will be obliged to adopt his single highest-voted selection for all public appearances during the current election campaign.

I want the Republican presidential candidate to adopt:

  • an oversize greasepaint moustache and eyebrows, round glasses, and a cigar
  • a top hat, monocle, spats, and cane
  • a doublet, a frill, a sword, and a comically large codpiece
  • a straw hat, overalls, and a beard down to the belly
  • a black tricorn, a bushy black beard, and a talking parrot
  • a grey Nehru jacket, a shaved head, and a scar running from the corner of the eye
  • a silk cape, slicked-back jet-black hair, and fangs
  • a single sparkly glove, a Jheri curl, and a black leather jacket adorned with buckles
  • a blue velvet jacket, lace jabot, striped trousers, high-heeled ankle boots, black-rimmed glasses, and bad British teeth
  • a cassock, bishop’s mitre, and jewelled shepherd’s crook
  • a long crimson robe and a shoulder-length powdered horsehair wig
  • a bare tattooed chest, a coonskin headdress with black bison horns, and red, white, and blue face paint
0 voters

I want the Democratic presidential candidate to adopt:

  • an oversize greasepaint moustache and eyebrows, round glasses, and a cigar
  • a top hat, monocle, spats, and cane
  • a doublet, a frill, a sword, and a comically large codpiece
  • a straw hat, overalls, and a beard down to the belly
  • a black tricorn, a bushy black beard, and a talking parrot
  • a grey Nehru jacket, a shaved head, and a scar running from the corner of the eye
  • a silk cape, slicked-back jet-black hair, and fangs
  • a single sparkly glove, a Jheri curl, and a black leather jacket adorned with buckles
  • a blue velvet jacket, lace jabot, striped trousers, high-heeled ankle boots, black-rimmed glasses, and bad British teeth
  • a cassock, bishop’s mitre, and jewelled shepherd’s crook
  • a long crimson robe and a shoulder-length powdered horeshair wig
  • a bare tattooed chest, a coonskin headdress with black bison horns, and red, white, and blue face paint
0 voters
4750
Would you eat vegetables grown in a cemetery?
  • Yes. I don’t see what one thing has to do with the other.
  • Grown on the cemetery grounds: yes; literally grown over the burials: no.
  • No, I would not.
  • What kind of vegetables?
  • Something else?
0 voters
4751
Would you eat meat from animals that had been fed only human flesh?
  • Yes. I don’t see what one thing has to do with the other.
  • Some middle ground the poll writer isn’t seeing?
  • No, I would not.
  • What kind of meat?
  • Something else?
0 voters

(not trying to make any kind of statement with the two polls, just two similar but separate thoughts)

4752

If you were a Cave-Man or Cave-Woman or Whatever… what would you be doing right now?

  • Out hunting. :boar: :deer:
  • Out gathering. :strawberry: :blueberries:
  • Out fishing. :fish:
  • Out swiming. :man_swimming:
  • Out exploring. :telescope:
  • Lounging in a tree. :palm_tree:
  • Making tools. :hammer_and_wrench: :bow_and_arrow:
  • Making stuff with animal parts and/or plants. :cactus:
  • Preparing food. :potato: :man_cook:
  • Praying to the local nature deities. :cloud_with_lightning: :sunrise_over_mountains: :place_of_worship:
  • Self grooming. :beetle:
  • Grooming a friend. :bug:
  • Cave painting. :art: :paintbrush:
  • Sitting by the river. :ocean:
  • Sitting by the fire. :fire:
  • Sitting by the fire, talking. :fire:
  • Sitting by the fire, singing. :fire:
  • Sitting by the fire, storytelling. :fire:
  • Sitting by the fire listening. :fire:
  • Dancing by the fire. :man_dancing: :fire:
  • Eating by the fire. :pig: :fire:
  • Sitting by the fire, playing music on your primitive instrument. :saxophone: :fire:
  • Attempting to sleep by the fire. :sleeping: :fire:
  • Sleeping in the cave. :sleeping:
  • Spooning for warmth. :ice_cube: :footprints:
  • Getting some nookie. :two_hearts:
  • Staring up at the sky. :stars:
  • Playing with rocks. :rock:
  • Playing with dirt, mud, or sticks. :nerd_face:
  • Playing with your pet lizard/bug/squirrel/wolf/rock etc. :wolf: :monkey: :raccoon: :lion: :bat: :panda_face: :eagle: :penguin: :owl: :t_rex: :beetle: :lizard: :rock:
  • Playing simple games with your fellow cave-people. :upside_down_face:
  • Other. :crazy_face:
  • Hypothetical questions are my enemy because I am hatefully passive-aggressive and have no imagination. :imp:
0 voters
4753

You are in a presidential debate against Trump:

  • I’d totally win by a mile; easiest thing ever, crushing victory
  • I’d win by a significant margin
  • I lie down on a cot and take a nap and let him do all the talking and still win by virtue of making no verbal blunders
0 voters
4754
How do you pronounce **iiandyiiii’**s name (while reading it in your mind):
  • “Andy”
  • “eye” “eye” “Andy” “eye” “eye” “eye” “eye”
  • “eye” “Andy” “eye”
  • Something else
  • I don’t “hear” words in my mind when I read them, I just read them somehow
  • NOTA [obligatory]
0 voters
4755
How good are you at Wii Bowling?
  • I will crush you!
  • Pretty good I think.
  • Okay I guess.
  • Not good.
  • Much better than I am at real bowling, at least.
  • I’ve never played Wii Bowling.
  • Hey, 2006 called; they asked why you’re still playing this game.
  • What the hell is Wii Bowling?
0 voters
4756
Do you remember the old guy from Laugh-In?
  • Yes
  • No
  • What’s Laugh-In?
0 voters
Does your own locomotion ever remind you of the Old Guy from Laugh-In?
  • No
  • Yes
  • Yes, oh god yes
  • I don’t know this Old Guy/Laugh-In of which you speak.
0 voters
4757

What are you favorite non-savory types of pies?
This has probably been done before. Hells bells, probably by me. What can I say? I like pie.

  • Apple
  • Banoffee
  • Black Bottom
  • Blackberry
  • Blueberry
  • Bob Andy
  • Buttermilk
  • Butterscotch
  • Cherry
  • Chess
  • Chiffon
  • Coconut cream
  • Dutch apple
  • French Silk
  • Fudge
  • Grasshopper
  • Haupia
  • Huckleberry
  • Key lime
  • Lemon ice box
  • Lemon meringue
  • Maple cream
  • Marionberry
  • Marlborough
  • Mississippi mud
  • Mixed berry
  • Not derby
  • Peach
  • Peanut butter
  • Pecan
  • Pumpkin
  • Shaker lemon
  • Shoofly
  • Sour cream raisin
  • Sour orange
  • Strawberry
  • Strawberry rhubarb
  • Sugar cream
  • Sweet potato
  • I don’t like pie
  • Some other pie
0 voters
4758

Are you familiar with the phrase “open winter” meaning an unusually warm winter?

  • Yes
  • No
  • I understand “open winter” to mean something else.
  • other
0 voters
4759

More options:

  • It would entirely depend on the moderator, the venue, and the audience among other factors.
  • I’d lose because I get massive stage fright
  • I’d lose because I support Trump and would want him to win
  • I’d lose because despite his myriad failings he’s much better at stirring up a crowd than I am.
  • Nobody would win, because modern presidential debates aren’t really debates but just two people talking over each other.
0 voters
4760

How far are you planning to travel (one way) to see the solar eclipse on April 8? If you’re planning a trip with other activities besides viewing the eclipse, count the entire trip up to the point where you will see the eclipse.

  • Less than 10 miles (includes “I will see it without traveling at all”)
  • 10-100 miles
  • 100-500 miles
  • 500-1000 miles
  • 1000-2000 miles
  • 2000-3000 miles
  • Over 3000 miles
  • I’m not planning to see it
  • I haven’t decided yet
  • Something else
0 voters
4761

Have you had COVID-19 yet?

  • Yes, and it was very unpleasant at least one time
  • Yes, it wasn’t much worse than a cold.
  • No
0 voters
4762
The Coen brothers movie Fargo is a:
  • black comedy
  • drama
  • neo-noir
  • thriller
  • all of the above
  • none of the above
  • something else
0 voters
4763
Your normal healthy resting body temperature is (or closest to):
  • OVER 101.0 F [38.33 C]
  • 101.0 F [38.33 C]
  • 100.5 F [38.33 C]
  • 100.0 F [37.78 C]
  • 99.5 F [37.50 C]
  • 99.0 F [37.22 C]
  • 98.5 F [36.94 C]
  • 98.0 F [36.67 C]
  • 97.5 F [36.39 C]
  • 97.0 F [36.11 C]
  • 96.5 F [35.83 C]
  • 96.0 F [35.56 C]
  • 95.5 F [35.28 C]
  • 95.0 F [35.00 C]
  • BELOW 95.0 F [35.00 C]
  • It varies too much to specify a single number
  • None of the Above
0 voters
4764
Captain Kirk has been demoted for doing Kirk-like stuff, and you’re the new commanding officer of the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701). Who is on your go-to 4-person away team?
  • Chekov
  • Kirk
  • McCoy
  • Scotty
  • Spock
  • Sulu
  • Uhura
  • Yourself
  • Redshirt A
  • Redshirt B
  • Redshirt C
0 voters
4765

Highest altitude you’ve experienced:

  • 0 feet
  • 300 feet
  • 600 feet
  • 1000 feet
  • 2000 feet
  • 3000 feet
  • 4000 feet
  • 5000 feet
  • 6000 feet
  • 7000 feet
  • 8000 feet
  • 9000 feet
  • 10000 feet
  • 11000 feet
  • 12000 feet
  • 13000 feet
  • 14000 feet
  • 15000 feet
  • 16000 feet
  • 17000 feet
  • 18000 feet
  • 19000 feet
  • 20000 feet
  • 21000 feet
  • 22000 feet
  • 23000 feet
  • 24000 feet
  • 25000 feet
  • 26000 feet
  • 27000 feet
  • 28000 feet
  • I’ve been on a sub orbital flight
  • I’ve been on the ISS
0 voters
4766

Oakland’s airport is considering changing its name to “San Francisco Bay Oakland International Airport” because apparently a lot of non-locals don’t know that Oakland is near San Francisco and that OAK is a viable alternative to SFO for travelers heading to San Francisco.

Before you saw this poll, were you aware that Oakland is near San Francisco?

  • Yes
  • No
  • I don’t know / other / none of the above
0 voters

Before you saw this poll, if you needed to travel to the San Francisco Bay Area, would you have considered flights to OAK alongside flights to SFO?

  • Yes
  • No
  • It depends
  • Oakland has an airport?
0 voters
4767

Now that it’s safely April 2nd…

  • I enjoy playing April Fool’s Day pranks on people
  • I enjoy it when other people play April Fool’s Day pranks on me
  • I enjoy it when other people play April Fool’s Day pranks on other people.
  • I do not enjoy playing April Fool’s Day pranks on people
  • I do not enjoy it when other people play April Fool’s Day pranks on me
  • I do not enjoy it when other people play April Fool’s Day pranks on other people.
  • I have played April Fool’s Day pranks on people
  • I have had April Fool’s Day pranks played on me (specifically - not just spoof news items, for example)
  • I have never played April Fool’s Day pranks on anyone
  • I have never had April Fool’s Day pranks played on me specifically
  • I don’t really care one way or the other if April Fool’s Day pranks are played on me
  • I don’t really care if anyone else plays April Fool’s Day pranks on others, but am not ever interested in doing so myself because it’s not my thing.
  • I like pie.
0 voters
4768

Your novel is about to be made into a movie. Which option do you choose?

  • the movie will be a horrid distortion of your novel against everything you want, but you get paid $3 million
  • the movie will be a faithful-but-bland depiction of your novel, and you get paid $2 million
  • the movie will be fantastic, and you get paid only $1 million
0 voters