If you have no interest in playing video games, is this at least in part due to not liking the noise they make?
- Yes
- No
- I suppose I could turn the noise off, but I have the impression that it’s part of the point
- Other
0 voters
Legend of Zelda players: Which of these games do you prefer?
- Ocarina of Time
- Majora’s Mask
- Twilight Princess
- Skyward Sword
- Breath of the Wild
0 voters
Final Fantasy players: Which of these games do you prefer?
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four (AKA Two)
- Five
- Six (AKA Three)
- Seven
- Tactics
- Eight
- Nine
- WHY are there SO MANY
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- One that didn’t get mentioned
0 voters
You would enjoy going to:
- A Broadway play (musical)
- A Broadway play (non-musical)
- A high school or grade school event
- A local festival
- A poetry reading
- A pop/rock concert
- A rave
- A rodeo
- A stand-up performance
- An auto race
- An MLB game
- An NBA game
- An NFL game
- An opera
- An orchestral concert
- Bed
- The Kentucky Derby
- The Masters
- The zoo
- Wimbledon
0 voters
Mario players: Which Mario game do you prefer?
- Super Mario Bros.
- Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels
- Super Mario Bros. 2
- Super Mario Bros. 3
- Super Mario World
- Super Mario World 2
0 voters
Jobs:
- Name on your shirt
- Name on your desk
- Name on the office’s door
- Name on the building
0 voters
You’re leaving the house for at least 45 minutes. Which of the following do you trust to allow to operate in your absence?
- dishwasher
- washing machine
- clothes dryer
- conventional oven or its stovetop
- convection oven or toaster oven
- slow cooker or Instant Pot
- robot vacuum or robot mop
- inexpensive sprinkler (not in-ground automatic system)
- window or portable A/C
- space heater
- dehumidifier
- none of these
- all of these
0 voters
Were you aware that, of all common appliances, studies have shown that dishwashers cause the most fires?
- Yes
- No
0 voters
Which of these categories do you think is the most-frequently-abducted category?
- male children
- female children
- adult men
- adult women
0 voters
(Follow-up poll in the blurred spoiler section)
I was frequently told, as a kid, that adult men are actually, in fact, the most-frequently-abducted category. Do you believe that statistic to actually be true? (I personally find it a bit dubious and perhaps hinging on what exactly the definition of ‘abduction’ is.)
- yes, I believe it
- no, I don’t think so
0 voters
Do you think “-a-Lago” will ever replace “-gate” as the go-to suffix for scandals in the future?
- Yes
- No
- It could become a thing, but it will never replace “-gate”
- Depends a lot on what happens to Trump
0 voters
Bitter greens that you like:
- Arugula
- Beet greens
- Broccoli raab
- Chard
- Chicory
- Collard greens
- Dandelion greens
- Endive
- Escarole
- Frisee
- Kale
- Mustard greens
- Nettles
- Radicchio
- Rapini
- Spinach
- Turnip greens
- Watercress
- Something else
- None
0 voters
Official Star Trek series that are better than The Original Series:
- The Animated Series
- The Next Generation
- Deep Space Nine
- Voyager
- Enterprise
- Discovery
- Short Treks
- Picard
- Lower Decks
- Prodigy
- Strange New Worlds
- None of them, TOS is supreme!
0 voters
Do you find beets, chard, spinach, kale, turnip greens to be “bitter”?
- Yes, beets
- Yes, chard
- Yes, spinach
- Yes, kale
- Yes, turnip greens
- No, none of them
- Other
0 voters
If you were to win a tax-free lottery jackpot of $323,490 right now, would it induce you to retire and quit your job?
- yes
- no
- this is an oddly specific sum
0 voters
How much additional money would cause you to decide to retire right now?
- I’m good now, thanks. Don’t need more to retire
- $50,000 to $250,000
- $250,000 to $750,000
- $750,000 to $1,000,000
- $1,000,000 to $2,000,000
- $2,000,000 to $3,000,000
- More than $3,000,000
- It’s not about the money. I’ll retire–or not–on my own timetable.
0 voters
Which would you consider to be greater?
- the sum of all pleasure in the world
- the sum of all suffering in the world
0 voters
Whether or not it would cause you to quit your job, would getting a tax-free lottery jackpot of $323,490 be a life-changing amount of money for you and/or get rid of a lot of knots in your shoulders caused by having a whole lot less than that amount?
- yes
- no
- it would get rid of those knots, but cause others
- other
0 voters
Do you like cucumbers and would you describe them as having a strong taste or smell?
- I like cucumbers and would say they have a strong taste or smell.
- I like cucumbers and would not say they have a strong taste or smell.
- I don’t like cucumbers and would say they have a strong taste or smell.
- I don’t like cucumbers and would not say they have a strong taste or smell.
- Forget the cukes. How 'bout that pie?
0 voters
“Spam”: as referring to junk email/calls/texts:
- It’s a dead metaphor
- It’s a live metaphor
- It’s not any kind of metaphor
- I keep telling you I don’t know enough about dead metaphors to determine!
0 voters
Legal hypothetical:
You are the best federal defense attorney in America, able to get almost all of your clients acquitted of most charges. One day, the phone rings. An oddly-familiar voice is on the other end of the line. Someone is greasily begging for legal representation. “The feds have indicted me on charges of keeping classified documents in my luxury resort in Florida…so unfair…what about Hillary’s emails…no other lawyers are willing to represent me…”
You tell him, “You have a reputation for stiffing your lawyers, not following their advice, trying to get them to do illegal stuff, and also have a yuuuge horde of fanatical followers known for violence, so I have yuuuge qualms about helping you, to put it mildly.” After half an hour of haggling, you manage to get him to agree to a flat-fee payment up front - no retainer, only flat-fee - and also that you reserve the right to drop him as a client should he ever refuse to follow your advice, or try to get you to do anything illegal or unethical. “The flat-fee needs to be yuuuuge,” you tell him. After some more haggling, he agrees that you will get paid $4.5 million no matter the outcome, but there will also be a $4.5 million yuuuge additional bonus if you get him acquitted, as well, since 45 is a number of special significance for him. He agrees, signs the contract, wires the initial yuuuge $4.5 million payment over, and it confirms and clears.
Do you accept him as your client and defend him to the best of your ability in federal court?
- yes
- no
0 voters