I come from a family of really fucked up conservative religious types who were quite abusive and dysfunctional, but didn’t have any problem sneering at people who were openly different rather.
When I see this kind of moral condemnation going on, my first thought is what secrets are you hiding?
Which is exactly what I’m speaking on at the conference. I’ve come up with a way for polyamorous people to effectively ‘marry’ using the American financial and legal system.
Granted, a lot of the speakers at the conference will speak on communication issues and how to navigate being in several relationships at once. Me? I’m trying to take things to the next level and promote actual long-term emotional, legal and financial commitments. It’s gone down well in the two groups I’ve promoted it to so far and this will be my chance to see how it presents with a larger group.
I don’t find any of your terms appropriate at all.
“Easy” is dated and judgemental (besides that, what’s so great about being difficult?), “self indulgent” is not a slur, or at least it shouldn’t be, and “immoral” is both oppressive and ridiculously subjective.
Hedonistic, open-hearted, sybaritic, free-wheeling, libertine, and generous are all much better terms which readily come to mind.
You needn’t work yourself into a moral swivet over the living arrangements or sexual behavior of grown-ups.
Probably “someone who fucks people who aren’t me”.
Thank you, clairobscur, for nailing it just as tight as a duck’s ass.
These apply equally to the poly and swinger folks I know. Why do some here seem more accepting of the former than the latter?
When you get a chance, would you mind posting it in a thread here?
I’m monogamous, but i have a lot of poly friends. They are all over the map in terms of sexual appetite and promiscuity. One says that a major benefit is that she and her husband have different sex drives, and being polyamorous means they can be happily married without him being frustrated or her feeling pressured for more sex than she wants. She’s really in a quad, with two of her husband’s sexual partners. But she’s very close with both of them, in nonsexual ways. I don’t think she has any other sexual partners, but the other three in the relationship all do.
Three of them have been stable for a really long time now, and own a house together and have teenage kids together.
hmm, well, square dancers change partners a lot during the dance.
Oddly enough, all the polyamorous people I know are square dancers. So maybe you should give it a try.
Doesn’t that vary a lot by state?
I wonder if we know each other, or have friends in common. I know people who do that, and who help other poly people find lawyers who specializes in that stuff.
And how many supposedly-monogamous people do you know who haven’t managed to achieve stable long-term monogamous relationships? Or who are sequentially monogamous?
The specific numbers will vary by culture, and even by age group (what looks like eternity to a 15yo is the blink of an eye to a 51yo), but people have managed to make all kinds of relationships work; people have also managed to screw up all kinds of relationships. For me the biggest problem with sexual/romantic/intimacy models is the same as with diets: what works for a specific group of people won’t necessarily work for every-single-body else.
did the op ever come back or did it pull its usual"no one agrees with me so ill disappear" deals?
The OP is here. Some people agreed and some didn’t. It is like many threads on here.
Spend less time worrying about what other people do.
No. You just used a derogatory term to attack a sexuality that you do not like.
No one agreed with you. You didn’t even ask a question, really. You just stated something hateful. You might as well have asked “Are black people just thugs who can’t stop stealing things?”
Yeah, I don’t think anyone agreed with you. You might want to reread the thread.
Not worried about anyone,but thanks for worrying about me.
Black people are awesome. I’m not racist.
Oh so now you think black people are awesome? Typical benevolent prejudice! Next you’ll start talking about how they are good at dancing, music, and sports.
No doubt some of your best friends are white people who think black people are awesome.
Pretty much. I don’t think polyamory is my cup of tea, but I don’t see why anyone should give a shit. If it works for you and the people you’re with, who the fuck cares? I mean, seriously, why would this be anyone else’s business or concern?
Well, I’ve needed to know who should be invited to a wedding or a bar mitzvah. It’s customary to include the husband or wife of a guest, even if that person doesn’t know those celebrating. It is a little more complicated when some of your guests are poly. Not a huge deal, of course, but working that out did become my business.
But basically, I agree with you, of course.
People of all races are good at dancing, music, and sports. Those are not traits associated with any particular race or group of people.