Pompous, self-righteous, asswipe cop!

The BBQ Pit
1

OK, some of you may remember that back around Christmas time, my oldest daughter tried to kill herself. We sent her to a mental hospital, got her medicated, got her counseling, etc.

Fast-forward to today. Hubby and I were going out of town to do major grocery shopping (the beginning of every month, we go to a particular discount grocery, and then to Sam’s Club, about an hour away). We told our oldest she had to go with us (we’re still watching her pretty closely). Our 12-year-old opted to stay home. We took our 3-year-old. So, this morning, our oldest says she wants to stay home, because she’s sick. I didn’t believe her. Thought she just didn’t want to go. A few minutes later, though, she threw up. So, hubby and I laid down some firm rules and decided to let her stay home. Went to the discount grocery first, then stopped for lunch. While we were at the restaurant, oldest called and said she wanted to go to the ER because she felt really sick. Finally, she confessed to taking a bunch of Tylenol last night!! I told her to call 911, and we’d be home ASAP. Turns out the cop that was called (they always call a cop for a suicide attempt) was the same one who responded last time! After oldest was in the ambulance, dickface cop knocks on our door to talk to my middle daughter. He tells her “Obviously, your parents are not getting your sister appropriate help. If this continues, I will call Social Services and have all of you removed from your parents’ custody.”!!! WTF!!! Middle daughter called us, on hubby’s cell phone, hysterical, convinced that Social Services will come and take her away!

What fucking right did that cop have to tell her such a thing? Later, we found out he had also yelled at oldest. Told her “If you were mine, I’d have your stomach pumped, take you home, beat your butt and send you to bed!” Well, why the hell didn’t he tell us that? If we’d known her problems were so fucking easily solved, we’d have done this months ago!!

Oldest is now safely ensconced in a Baltimore Hospital for an inpatient program. Tomorrow, we are going to find out what the procedure is for filing a formal complaint about mr. shit-for-brains police officer!

Oooooh, I am just so angry!!

2

What an ignorant, self-righteous ass. I hope you have some luck with the complaint.

Good luck with your daughter too. That must be hell to have to deal with.

3

Jesus! What the fuck is wrong with people like that? Even if you were the worst parents in the world, what good is served by terrifying the children before you try to break up their family? And, of course, the best approach to take with suicidal children is to threaten them with physical violence. Holy fuck. Clearly, this guy’s got no basis for offering parental advice. Hell, if he goes around threatening other people’s kids, what does he do to his own? Might be a need for social services in there somewhere, but not necessarily on your end, if you take my meaning.

Good luck with the complaint. I hope that dickhead’s boss comes down on him with both feet. Good luck with your daughter, too. I hope you can get her the help she needs.

4

Diogenes, this is hard to deal with. Very frustrating, because we’ve been doing the best we know how to do, and it isn’t working. Hopefully, this hospital will be better for her than the last one.

Miller, my sentiments exactly. I mean, OK, if a kid is telling a cop “I hate it here, and hope I can find a way out soon”, then, maybe, the cop could tell the kid “I’m going to call Social Services and find out what they can do to help you”. But this guy doesn’t know fuckall about our conditions! And we will do everything in our power to help our daughter. Thanks for your good wishes, they are much appreciated.

5

Call the Department, and get his ass in court or fired or shot or get his testes shot off because his genetics should not be in the loop of human beings.
There is no fucking right for him to do this. You must act, norinew Don’t stand by and let him get away!

6

The cop was incredibly indiscreet-insensitive-imbecilic to say anything about the case to another party, even your child. To also mention the possibility of Social Services intervention was not only thoughtless but certain to cause intense distress.

Make sure to have all family members write down their own accounts of what happened. It’s time to ream this so-called cop five new ones. Demand a written apology and make sure this goes through citizen’s review so it remains on his service record.

7

So, he commits child abuse to send a message via a child about child abuse.

This putz needs to be stripped of his badge, and retrained on how to interact with human beings.

8

True and true. Your first point was the same thing i thought when i read that.

I would try to file a complaint against him norinew. You might want to talk to internal affairs, or just talk to the person at the entrance desk to the police station for advice. someone like that shouldn’t be allowed to interact with delicate situations.

9

Great suggestion! We’re also going to try to make a copy of the message my 12-yr-old left on hubby’s cell phone voice mail (we were “out of service area” for a few minutes). She’s hysterical, and the message is heartbreaking!

And anyone who’s concerned that we might let this drop shouldn’t be! As pissed as I am, hubby is even more so (no one threatens one of his kids and gets away with it)! I know there may be repercussions (what if the cops decide to start discreetly harrassing us, or not respond so quickly when we call for help?), but I don’t care! He will not get away with this shit!

One of the nurses in the hospital actually defended him, saying, “Well, you know, they (the cops) get upset. . .” WTF? Aren’t cops, by virtue of their profession, supposed to know how to stay calm in upsetting situations?

10

It’s great to know that we have such professional, considerate law enforcement here in Maryland.

11

Shit, what a dick. What are the possible technical reasons he could be disciplined for?

12

I don’t know. But I certainly intend to find out!

13

Unprofessional conduct, at the very least. Maybe not a really huge hit, but one that will haunt him come promotion and review time. Actually, that might be the best… It leaves an expensively-trained officer on the force, but reminds him of What Not To Do rather forcefully at least once a year, and serves as a walking, talking reminder of What Not To Do to his fellow officers every day.

14

First off, I would like to think you are dead nuts wrong about intentionally slowed down call response times. Howevermuch the thin blue line protects its own, I can only hope that officers will not take to heart rightful complaints concerning another cop who is a disgrace to their profession.

Also, while on duty (legally speaking) COPS DO NOT HAVE FEELINGS. An officer is not allowed to (openly) take offense at something that is said to, or witnessed by them while working in their professional capacity. A cop who permits this to happen not only stresses out rather quickly, but also begins to commit breaches of conduct like the sort your child was forced to endure.

This officer is most certainly in line for a reprimand that should go on his permanent service record.

15

As a slight aside (in total agreement about the inapproprateness of the policeman’s reactions) but can I just ask if you were going to leave your 12 year old at home by herself and after your 16 year old felt sick, did you leave her in charge of the 12 year old, even with her history? I would have been an hysterical 12 year old too had the same thing happened to me and my sister.
Having a mobile phone is no substitute for parental presence.
If I have totally missunderstood these circumstances, please accept my apologies - I just wonder about leaving a 12 year old unsupervised or under the supervision of a 16 with problems, and I’m not an expert on how old kids should be when left at home without an adult.

16

I was regularly left home alone for hours at a time when I was 10, had keys to the house, let myself in from school, and generally was considered too old to need a babysitter because I knew how to call 911, work the microwave, stove, sink and anything else in the house I might need.

I don’t think it’s so unusual that a 12 year old and a 16 year old were left home while parents were out shopping, even if the older one was sick and had previous mental problems. Both were looking after themselves, supposedly, and it’s not norinew’s fault that the 16 year old snuck all that Tylenol the night before.

17

I think 12 is definitely an appropriate age to be left at home alone, especially during the day and if the parents have a cell on them. I can’t imagine why a capable 12 year old couldn’t handle that.

I think they took a chance with the 16 year old, but the truth is that someone 16 years old can’t be under supervision 24/7, even if you try. If she was sick (which she was, after taking the Tylenol) you can’t expect her to come along, and in theory she could have lain in bed and recuperated.

I sincerely doubt I would have acted any differently from norinew.

18

Heck, I started staying home alone while I was 8. I hated going places and my mom hated dragging me along.

19

12 is definately old enough to stay home alone. Hell, I was babysitting others’ kids when I was 13.

I don’t have kids, but i’d imagine it would be nearly impossible to be with them 24/7. If they’ve got it in their heads that they are going to do something and truly don’t want to get caught, they’ll figure out a way to do it.

20

Devils advocate prewarning…

Ok, how many of you posters are police officers or have been police officers, or work in emergency services?

After that dies down, I’ll say that norinew is dead right filing against the officer. His superiors are sure to be willing to take notice, but the likelihood is that if he didn’t care about your daughters’ feelings, it’s unlikely that he gives a tinkers damn about being promoted. Remember that cops and firemen and medics are human, they have faults, and are susceptible to the shortcomings of humanity. Nori, do you know what that officer responded to before coming to see you and your daughter? Do you know for sure it wasn’t a house of squalor filled with pitiful children that family services can’t help? Neither do I, maybe this cop was just a dickhead, maybe he had seen his fill and reached his stress level without seeing it coming, maybe, just maybe, he was, without knowing you, trying to reach you through your kids in a shocking (albeit inappropriate) way.

Just a look through a different set of eyes, a different paradigm. I encourage you to file your complaint, and yes, maybe the officer should be canned, i’m not familar enough with the situation to know, but you’ve got plenty of work dealing with your daughter, make that your first priority, then set the sights on mr. insensitive cop, but don’t be suprised if nothing happens, it really isn’t that high up on the list of major league offenses.

Best of luck with everything.