Thank you, Concerned Citizen. DIAF.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Ben’s car is in the shop so we’re down to one vehicle which wouldn’t be so bad most times because our schedules are mostly opposite so… whatever. But I had an appointment early this morning and he had meetings so I drove him into work last night.

I got home at, I dunno, 11:15-11:20p and hopped into the shower, totally ignoring the knocking I heard just moments later because, in addition to being in the shower, A) I’m not feeling well and B) it was late and I stop caring what other people want right around 10pm.

I came out of the shower to find a missed call on my cell from the county sheriff’s department with a message from a deputy asking that I call him back. Sure, no problem. I have no criminal record, I’m not a trouble maker, something could be wrong with somebody I know, etc. Honestly, I figured my ex had filed another motion for something (custody, child support, whatever) and the cop was attempting to serve me (so late at night? I blame pregnancy-brain and being over-tired).

Turns out somebody called the police on me for leaving my seven year old home alone while I brought Ben to work. Whoever it was had to have called them again as soon as I pulled up because it was <5 minutes before I heard the knocking and there’s no way I was followed.

I explained to the cop that my son isn’t home right now (he’s 30+ miles away visiting my sister’s family until tomorrow; I had a long week and, like I said, I’m not feeling well, so he’s been there for a couple days) and he started being a complete ass about wanting my sister’s name and number and address (I don’t even know that, but I wouldn’t give it to him anyway; I didn’t give him any more than her first name) and hey, why doesn’t he just pop in and check that the boy isn’t here and how we should meet face to face to “resolve this issue”, etc.

I told him no. I wondered after the fact if I should have let him but I am not obligated to allow anybody, cop or not, into my home for any reason, especially at midnight when I’m sick and tired and pissed off on top of it. He badgered me for like 10 minutes and I wish I would have thought to hang up on him (I’m not obligated to talk to him either and he was upsetting me) because he was being an asshole and, in the end when he asked me why I wouldn’t let him come over, I finally just said “Because I said so.”

He said he would write a report and forward it to child protective services this morning. I said “Okay, thank you.” and hung up.

So, thank you Good Neighbor for looking out for my son. It would be helpful, I think, if you knew what the fuck you were talking about before involving law enforcement. Maybe try that next time.

2

Wow.

3

I’m surprised hardly anyone has commented.

That’s really sucky, Silver Fire, on the part of your neighbor for the assumption (I can think of plenty of reasons why man-and-woman-of-house-leave-together-without-kid doesn’t mean the kid is left home alone) and the police officer for not letting it go after “he’s staying with my sister.” Or at least not insisting on searching your house.

Uh, it would be a good idea to have the contact info of people your son is staying with in the future, though, in case of many scenarios, not just police officers demanding it. I’m also not sure why you would refuse to give him that information, unless you weren’t convinced he was definitely a police officer. I can see why that made him suspicious, though I still think asking to come to your house to check for himself was a little extreme.

4

It sounds like the policeman was just trying to do his job after being informed of a potentially endangered child, and now you’ve set yourself up for an unnecessary potential dance with CPS. “I’m tired” and “I’m cranky” and “it’s midnight” are fine if you’re dealing with peddlers, but stiff arming the police when they are trying to deal with an easily resolved situation, if you cooperated, is kind of stupid.

5

I’d be knocking on doors

6

Since the phrase is “my sister’s name and number and address (I don’t even know that, but I wouldn’t give it to him anyway),” I’m going to assume that she knows her name and phone number but not her address. Although it’s 30 miles away, I can see just knowing the directions how to get there but not the street number.

I’m with you on wondering why she didn’t just do what she had to do to resolve this without possibly antagonizing the law enforcement agent when he was just trying to do his job, and opening up the possibility of a potential CFS investigation.

7

I’d be knocking down doors.

8

Probably not a good idea if there’s a CPS investigation pending. No need to make yourself look crazy.

9

Well, as I don’t have kids, one of the neighbors would have some serious explaining to do.

10

I’m with you, Silver Fire.

Why on earth would I let a cop sans warrant come rummage through my home, just so he could see that my kid wasn’t there? I don’t think so.

Why should I agree to a personal interrogation at midnight just because some deputy dawg has a hard-on?

If CPS actually bothered to contact me, then I would be happy to provide them with the pertinent information showing that my child was perfectly safe during the time period in question.

Being a good citizen does not mean that you have to put up with being bullied and harassed by assholes, even if they are cops.

11

Wait, someone called the cops? Really? Wow.

My mom left me alone at home when I was 7. I guess I should have been taken into protective custody. :stuck_out_tongue:

12

That really sucks Silver.

If CPS in your state is anything like it is in mine, you’re in for a headache. Both my mom and me have been investigated by them on two separate occasions. Even though neither of us were doing anything wrong, it was still a pain.

13

Just as a real world heads up the practical concern on the table is not the insistent policeman, and whatever drama you have that he’s trying to do his job at an inconvenient hour after being informed of an endangered child.

The issue for the OP is that if this gets referred to CPS they get to decide what happens next, not her, and if she gives them attitude the response is not likely to be favorable for her even if she did nothing wrong. They get to decide if your family should be monitored, or if a counselor needs to be called or etc. If you have an infinite amount of money for legal costs, and lots of time to lock horns with them then go for it, but for most people a cooperative attitude will get you much further.

14

This. I can give you flawless directions and I can get there with my eyes closed. I even know the street name. I have no idea what her house number is, though.

I haven’t heard anything else about it so I’m guessing I was right in assuming the CPS threat was just that and that he never even contacted them. As to why I didn’t let him come back, because I don’t have to. And as soon as I realized why he was calling I really thought a quick “Oops, somebody is mistaken. He’s not home. Thank you for your time.” would have been the end of it. I was polite, even-toned, and calm the entire time; he was rude, pushy, and the most complete asshole I’ve ever had the misfortune of interacting with (a total Cop, you know?) and then had the gigantic balls to ask me why I was “so confrontational.” Attitudes like his are not conducive to voluntary cooperation. My stance: Fuck him. I took my chances and called his bluff.

15

Anyone know the relevant laws regarding letting kids stay home alone? Even if the OP’s son were at home, I don’t see that as a big deal at all. I don’t make the laws though.

16

I think it’s likely the cop isn’t going to file a report. It’s a scary threat, but as he really had no evidence and you were (presumably) cooperative and lucid on the phone up until giving out more personal info, he really doesn’t have much to report on.

You had the total right to do what you did and I think I would have done the same.

Not only is your neighbor nosy, s/he is an idiot too.

17

IIRC, in my state a child has to be 12 years old to be left home alone.

18

Wow. My parents could have gotten in trouble. I let myself in after school at 7. Maybe earlier. This was late '80s.

19

I amazed that people think this way. As far as minimizing headache is involved, the OP did the exactly right thing. Sure the cop may have only been doing his job, but part of that job is asking people “Can I come into your house without a warrant?” and getting “Sorry, but that’s going to have to be a ‘No,’ Officer Friendly!” as an answer.

So, here the OP avoided having the cop come to her house in the middle of the night to take a look-see. Yes, it involved being a little insistent. As to fears that some Stasi-like CPS or DCFS or whatever they’re called near you investigation is going to be mounted, I wouldn’t give it much more thought. I think their reputation is a little more fearsome than warranted (and, of course, they have no interest in disabusing you of that superstition).

20

Do you have an idea which neighbor it was?