One of the funniest conversations I ever had was about the different types of poop.

For example:

The explosive poop. Nice and firm, but it just :::shoots::: out of your butt. BOOM!

The rabbit poop. You look in the toilet and see a little pile of pebble-poop in there. How cute!

So, teeming millions, shall we share in the mundanity of poop, pooping and all things poopalicious? I invite you.

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, dogs are from Pluto. - Anonymous

I find that the diaretic kind of poops generally have the best sound effects, plus are much easier on the softer bums and for those hemmoroid sufferers… not that i am one

We are, each of us angels with only one wing;
and we can only fly by
embracing one another

For the full animated story of poop, go here:

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” - Humphrey Bogart

Well,I oh shit! :wink:

lol you are quite the researcher Uncle, thanks for the tip

We are, each of us angels with only one wing;
and we can only fly by
embracing one another

Oh Yeah !! Finally we’re talking shit over here.

I am proud to say that, after a good meal, I’ll most of the times be able to spell my first name initial “J” in a long, dark, steaming curl :wink:

Also, it’s great when you’re visiting France and get the shits for some reason. If this is the case, DO visit one of the local-style-toilets, ya know, the ones where you have to stand on a couple of food rests, and then, bending forwards slightly, poop in a central hole underneath.

Now kids, can you say “spray paint” ??


BTW Good Morning America, and enjoy your breakfast.


“You know how complex women are”

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

The only thing I have a name for is the “Coney Island,” so-named because it’s a foot long!

Yer pal,

When I drink purple Kool Aid, my shit comes out bright green.

I hate rabbit poop. All that work, and that’s all I get?

And, not to hijack this thread to Cuba, or anything (Newark, perhaps) but don’t you hate it when you wipe, and wipe, and you just can’t get your butt clean? I’m one of those people that can not stop wiping until there is no skidmark on the TP.

Well, enjoy your breakfast, y’all!

You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.

There are lots of places online to find the “Poopie List” which lists all the kinds of poop… doodie.com is pretty hilarious too… are they still doing new stuff? I’d seen all the old ones…

“Cluemobile? You’ve got a pickup…”
OpalCat’s site: http://opalcat.com
The Teeming Millions Homepage: fathom.org/teemingmillions

And what a great post to crack #400 with!

While I’m here, I’m gonna repeat a local slang term my buddies and I use. There’s a Mexican buffet down here called Panchos. It’s really not that bad, but there are times when it can be pretty foul (Esp. if you eat the sour cream chicken enchiladas).

Well, we say a “Panchos Experience” is when you’re sitting on the toilet holding a bucket, because you’re not sure if you’re going to shit, or puke. Possibly both.

Welp, enjoy them there eggs, y’all!

You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.

Now thats sounds appetizing… think ill skip that restaurant…(sticks the cork back in)

We are, each of us angels with only one wing;
and we can only fly by
embracing one another

oops… congrats on the 400 hon!!.. Such fond memories you will have of pooping on #400

We are, each of us angels with only one wing;
and we can only fly by
embracing one another

OpalCat, Tom Winkler still puts out a new animated doodie gif every week day. I even ordered the t-shirt a couple weeks ago.

—Your potty pal

Hideeee Hooo!! Well if you read the ‘most messed up you’ve ever been’ thread, you know i had a real poopy experience one night under the influence.

I had one of those ‘Coney Islander’s’ a few months back. It was amazing. I wanted to take a picture. Must have been a foot and a half. It wouldn’t flush, I tried 3 times, I finally had to break it in half with the toilet brush. I was in awe of the pwoer of my intestines. I never knew. I bet you wish you didn’t either.

so you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts. what’s so amazing about really deep thoughts? Tori Amos

How about the infamous Softball Poop? You know, where you’re not sure if you’re constipated or giving birth? I once missed an entire afternoon of school because of this.

Modest? You bet I’m modest! I am the queen of modesty!

I proudly introduce: The Paint Bomb in Disguise.

This is where the first turd starts coming out completely normal, but all of a sudden it SHOOTS OUT at ridiculous speed, followed by a terribly noisy case of the Spray Paint as described in my previous post in this thread.

Most of y’all must REALLY be enjoying them donuts that go along with your mid-morning coffee by now :wink:


“You know how complex women are”

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

Oftentimes on the morning after a reasonably major bender, I just can’t get my shit together. I’ll be in & out of the bathroom til lunch, & each time I poop I think I’m finished, but I just keep having to go back.

One time my SO pooped a two-tone log. It looked like a medicine capsule. (We don’t habitually check out each other’s poop, but some things are so cool you have to make exceptions…)

What about when you eat a bunch of popcorn, (poopcorn?) & the next day, you poop birdseed?

The artist in me had to respond to this one. Don’t ya just love it when you eat corn or some other undigestable vegetable and your poop comes out in vibrant colors and textures?? The asymmetrical randomness makes it truely a work of art!

“Only when he no longer knows what he is doing, does the painter do good
things.” --Edgar Degas

One word: spinach.

I think I’m gonna start an Artistic Barfing Thread now… :wink:

Thanks guys, I’m laughing out loud here and BOY am I relieved that my colleagues have gone home already otherwise I would have to explain all this… well, shit !


“You know how complex women are”

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

I find my sons babywipes work wonders,so don’t keep trying to wipe,Once is all it takes.