Artificial humanoid composed of dessicated grain stalks for the purpose of preventing members of the species corvus brachyrhynchos and its ilk from ingesting the ova of cereals! Ditto! Is it or is it not the case that you have ceased to assault and/or batter your lawfully wedded female spouse, also, presumably, an artificial humanoid of similar construction to yourself.
“Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.”
Temporal insects enjoy a long thin projectile, whereas the ripened ovaries of flowering plants in general travel through the air in a similar fashion to the ripened ovary of one particular type of flowering plant.
Still available: "Give a man a fish and he can eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he can eat for a lifetime."
Provide an adult male human with a cold-blooded strictly aquatic craniate vertebrate and he can complete his diurnal nourishment. Instruct the same, or another adult male human in the art of capturing cold-blooded strictly aquatic craniate vertebrates and he can complete nourishment sufficient to the duration of his existence as a living being.
Still available (I think): Once bitten, twice shy.
Masticate me once, shame on me. Masticate me twice, shame on you.
And since Shoshana didn’t leave one: Hung like a horse
[spoiler]Ivylass: What exactly are we doing here?
Well since we are smarter (read: more pedantic) than most people we are translating popular phrases and sayings to more scientifically and lingustically accurate equivalents.[/spoiler]
Posessing the genitals of a male member of the four-legged odd-toed ungulate mammal species Equus caballus.
It ain’t over till the fat lady sings.
The prevailing activity currently being partaken in will not cease prior to the melodic warbling of the corpulent female being.
“There’s more than one way to skin a cat.”
“A plurality of methodologies exist for the removel of outer dermal tissue from members of the family felidae.”
“A watched pot never boils.”
Careful ocular perusal of a metal device used for cooking will allegedly prohibit the natural change of state from liquid to gas caused by the application of thermal energy.
Note: Cite?
See a pin and pick it up and all day you’ll have … a pin!
(Sorry, just wanted to pop that in 
)
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
It’s been done. Post #14.
[Pit Doperized] Spoilered for languange and “personal insults” not suitible outside the pit. We have already addressed your concern, asshat. Why don’t you read the damn thread before responding, you goat-felching kitten raper? See that little post up there between #13 and #15? Yeah, that one, dipshit! How do you ever expect to get out of your mother’s basement if you can’t even read Post #14?[/Pit Doperized] 
**
Always look on the bright side of life!**
As one travels through their allotted time span upon his fair earth, it would be wise to continually be optimistic in every given circumstance.
As long as we have journeyed into pop-culture (read Geek Culture):
Live Long and Prosper
Jim
Okay, I think I got it.
It is my hope that you will enjoy extensive longevity and success in your pursuits and endeavours.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
:o
A friend of mine taught me the “doperized” (though I think Mangetout’s version is more like proper doperization - hilarious) version of the popular drinking song “Show me the way to go home”:
Show me the way to go home.
I’m tired and I want to go to bed.
I had a little drink about an hour ago
And it’s gone right to my head.
No matter where I roam,
Over land or sea or foam,
You will always hear me singing this song:
Show me the way to go home.
His version is fantastic to sing when stumbling back from the bar, especially if your drunken friends are harmonizing:
Indicate the way to my abode.
I am fatigued and I wish to retire.
I had a little tipple sixty minutes ago
And it’s infiltrated into my cranium.
No matter where I perambulate,
Over land or sea or undulating water,
You will always hear me crooning this melody:
Indicate the way to my habitual abode.
A watched pot never boils
Within a vessel made only for the purpose of heating and cooking food, dihydrous oxide, in its liquid form, will fail to reach a temperature of 100 degrees Celsius (212 degrees Fahrenheit) if observed unwaveringly.
I forgot to add one of my own:
“A stitch in time saves nine”
My father used to sing me to sleep with a song along these lines. Can anyone identify the source or non-misremembered lyrics?
Verse 1 began: My grandfather killed a kangaroo/Gave to me the gristly part to chew.
Verse 2 began: My paternal forbearer decimated a marsupial/presented to me the cartiliginous portion to masticate.
No actual kangaroos were harmed in the production of this song.
Damn. I’m hungry, too. Are kangaroos good eatin’?
Gristly, I hear.