Pornography: The Musical

What a concept! Porn stars singing, dancing and having sex, right on your television! It’s radical! It’s sexy! It’s an entertainment extravaganza! It’s sure to be a hit! Right? Right?


Yes, Channel 4 has once again scraped the dirty, pillbug-infested underside of the programming barrel with their latest attempt to shock and titilate the viewing public, Pornography: the Musical.

Is it cutting edge? I suppose so. It’s also bad. Really bad. Bad concept, bad writing, bad acting, bad directing, bad singing, bad music, very bad lyrics, nauseating sex scenes featuring people I wouldn’t even want to see with their clothes on, and in fact very, very little of any redeeming value whatsoever at any point in the program. If you want to prevent your children from looking at pornography, show them this: it’ll definitely put them off naked people altogether. (OTOH, the future therapy bills will be enormous).

In fact, it’s so bad that I’ve started writing this halfway through the program on the assumption that it’s sunk so low that even if it started improving now and didn’t stop it still wouldn’t start being watchable until the next Democratic administration.


Nope – still bad.

Consider yourself warned, and avert your eyes from this vile televisual excrescence. Save yourself – it’s too late for me…

Gosh, I’m usually kind of a prude on such matters, but from reading your link, it actually sounds kind of fascinating. Better than most of the crap tv we get on this side of the water, anyway.


This just in. Porn stars can’t sing as well as can’t act.

Masturbating public shrugs and says, “Just as long as they’re doing it.”

Film at eleven, at the deserted strip mall.

I just wanted to point out that this thread was started by Gyrate.

I suppose it gets points for being creative, at least. The problem is that it doesn’t really work at any level: it’s too unpleasant (and poorly filmed) to be good pornography; there’s too little in the way of interviews or other informative content to be a documentary; the musical numbers and their performance were of such a poor quality, and were scattered throughout the program in such a poorly presented manner, that it didn’t work as a musical; it was too sad to be a comedy and too banal to be a tragedy…I don’t know what they were trying to achieve, but I’m pretty sure they didn’t do it.

Here’s some snippets from the usual erudite talking heads on BBC’s News Review.

Oi! Gyrate! Yes, you! Ask me before you use my words for a sigline, matey. [May I use your words for a sigline, Princhester? Yes you most certainly can, Gyrate!]

I’m so flattered.:slight_smile:

[sub]and I just broke the Hemingway rule regarding exclamation marks something chronic but not to worry.[/sub]

Anyone out there remember Cop Rock?

Hee hee hee hee.

i watched some of this. i sat there thinking, ‘oh, another porn documentary’. and then they started singing. really badly.

and there was hardly any tits in it. i expect better from channel 4. theyve had some inspired programming recently. the film of Stephen Kings ‘Thinner’ on after the fucking Blaine stunt on monday etc, but this was just stupid. a wasted opportunity. does pingalondon know you watched this gyrate?

heh heh

[Billy the Kid]

Hey, Princhester - I’ll make ya famous…


[/Billy the Kid]

I realize that I may be the only person in the Western hemisphere to say this without being held at gunpoint, but I really liked Cop Rock. Randy Newman writes a decent tune and lyric, most of the actors could sing in tune, and the songs fit into the plotlines. The main problem seemed to be that when you stop the action every ten minutes for a song it take forever to resolve a plotline, and television audiences don’t have much patience. That’s showbiz.

And paulberserker, I’d be slightly worried if pingalondon knew (apart from reading it here) what I was or wasn’t watching on television; I think you’re either confusing me with Crusoe or her with the everlurking Kicker (to whom I’m married). Although it’s an honest mistake, considering who I’m sitting next to in the latest Londope pictures.

I also loved Cop Rock.

That is all.

Too bad I don’t live in the UK. Here, channel 4 is UPN. Closest thing we get to porn is Enterprise.

I acutally remember seeing a porn musical. It was sorta aparody of “Singing in the Rain”. i don’t remember much about the music for some reason. :wink: But If I recall it wasn’t winning any prizes, and was probably dubbed.

Any chance you’re thinking of this film?

(I don’t know how the IMDB makes these connections, but there’s something hilarious about the comment “If you like this title, we also recommend My Fair Lady.” “By George, I think she’s got it!” :D)

Porn the Musical was a bit weak - what with porn people not beig able to sing and all that. Although it is nice to see people so happy in their work.

However has anyone else seen Jerry Springer - The opera (I saw it last week). That is what they were aiming for. Now that IS brilliant - I can’t recommend it too highly.

Damn you owlstretchingtime I was going to mention Jerry Springer the Opera…now that was class, Porn the Musical? Bunch of ass.

I heard about this, and thought it sounded highly amusing. I was far too tired however to watch it. Good job I didn’t really.

Yeah, but the LonDope photos aren’t indicitive of much, except everyone having a good time.

my bad. i knew you were married to one or the other. d’oh! my drunken state apologizes.

but it would be quite amusing if pingalondon did know what you were watching. SHE CAN SEE YOU!

Hey, if you have to have a stalker be sure to get an attractive one, I always say. :slight_smile:

At least you didn’t think I was paired with Crusoe.

It’s not even all that original.

(non-reg. link)

There was also a movie called My Bare Lady.

I think it had singing in it, but I’ve never seen it so who knows.