Okay. I suppose that I brought this on myself. I suppose that I should be searching for higher-quality porn. Or, really, I should find something better to do with my time. But this is annoying the hell out of me. All I wanted to do was kill a few kittens, but nooooooo.
I put up with a lot during my porn viewing. I put up with the women whose breasts are balloon-shaped and defy gravity. I put up with said women yelping, and screaming, and squeaking like gerbils on speed. I put up with less-than-attractive, bored looking men who can barely keep it up long enough to pump 3 or 4 times before the Glorious Money Shot. Lately I’ve been putting up with men appearing to have penises (penii?) that range from 18-24 inches ( :eek: ). But y’all have simply gone too far.
Is it too much to ask that the dubbing matches the action? To put an even finer point on it… if a young woman has a penis shoved in her twat and another one halfway down her throat, SHE CANNOT BE YELPING. Moaning, yes. But the noises you have her making require the full use of her mouth, which is clearly doing other things. It’s very distracting. Here I am, sword inches from descending onto the kitten’s neck, when it becomes very apparent that there’s really bad dubbing involved in the video I’ve been- until that moment- enjoying, and suddenly the kitten is granted a last-minute stay of execution with full pardon.
I’m a very, very frustrated person right now. :mad:
And before you tell me to turn the sound down… what the hell is the point of watching porn if you don’t have the “boom chicka wa-wa” soundtrack?
One of my friends who watches a lot more porn than I do told me to try the “Shane’s World” series once, when I was making a similar complaint. She said it’s pretty realistic and worth checking into.
Of course I never followed up on the suggestion, because I’m lazy, but I thought I’d pass it along just in case you’re interested.
You think that’s bad… Mr. Kitty has that as his desktop image. I had to bring his computer to Staples the other day for a minor repair, and the look on the tech’s face when he booted it up was friggin’ priceless. Of course then he had to call over everyone within earshot and show them. :eek:
MsWhatsit… thanks. I’ll have to check it out and report back to you.
Oh, and Hastur… Cute. Actually, I have a nice collection of that as well, but that’s where the Really Scary Penises[sup]tm[/sup] have suddenly started appearing so I put it aside for a bit. Honestly the sight of a 24-inch monstrosity getting anywhere near an oriface is enough to put me off of sex altogether. Ouch.
"Jeff Stryker is this big gay male porn …celeb, I guess. I don’t want to call him a star, that’s just scary. Anyway, Mr. Peepee is like, this long, and this wide. That’s pretty accurate, isn’t it? It’s huge.
“And those of you who have rented a Jeff Stryker video know that Jeff Stryker only ever says three things… The second of which is, ‘Tighten that ass. Yea, tighten that ass.’ Now, did I mention that Mr. Peepee is like this long and this wide? If I have something that size up my ass, I’m going to take offense. ‘You want me to what??! I’ve got a fire hydrant up my ass, mister, back off!’”
Whenever I’m in that situation (doing bottom action), I’m thinking “Slow the fuck down already…you trying to put me in diapers or what? I mean, at least leave me with the ability to sit down without wincing.”
At least the experience taught me to be MUCH more considerate when I’m doing a woman. I can only imagine what it’d be like having some pig root you out vaginally with no thought to your comfort.
Actually, I have a nice collection of that as well, but that’s where the Really Scary Penises[sup]tm[/sup] have suddenly started appearing so I put it aside for a bit. Honestly the sight of a 24-inch monstrosity getting anywhere near an oriface is enough to put me off of sex altogether. Ouch.