Pornspeak (warning: XXX language)

Among the many incomprehensible cliches of porn sites is what I call “Pornspeak”: a style of referring to people’s bodies and sexual acts using language reminiscent of a dirty-minded 12 year old trying to sound like a Marine on leave in a Bangkok brothel. I can only suppose that someone finds this arousing, but I’ve always considered it moronic.
I mean, how many women on a first date with a guy want to hear him say “I’d like to ream your red-hot cunt 'till the cum soaks your socks!”? How many women on a first date would ever say anything like “I want monster cock to rape my virgin asshole!”?

Can you imagine people actually talking like this in real life?

I agree that it’s moronic in porn, but it’s great in the workplace!

“I’ve got 8 and a half by 11 inches of memo right here that make your eyes pop out of your head.”

“I’m gonna evaluate your performance so hard and so fast that your personnel file will be throbbing for weeks.”

Are you laboring under the impression that porn is supposed to represent real life? It isn’t. It’s fantasy. And, obviously, many men’s fantasies include extremely sexually aggresive women.

Hmmm. The language is a tad rich for this family forum. Let’s try this in the Pit, where you’re free to say things like “wee wee” and “rubber duck”.

You mean this wasn’t originally posted in the pit?!

heh heh … aren’t you are the dirty one…

He said Try this in the pit… heh… pit… heh… try… heh… this.

OK, I’ve had my moment. Carry on.

Yes.
Yes I can.

Why do you think guys like me watch porn? To get an accurate replica of the way our lives actually are in regards to the opposite sex? That wouldn’t sell too well.

Just because I want to toot my own horn (hah!) here’s a thread I started quite awhile ago about dumb things you’ve heard in porn movies…

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=62527

Ummm… Good point.

Personally, I’m kind of disturbed by the turn towards vagina-damaging that penis-enlarging spams have taken lately. “Drag your cock on the floor!” is funny, “rip her apart” or “make her bleed” is Ted Bundy.

Wow, I’ve never seen sarcasm cut so thinly. Anyone have a sarcasm detector tuned for level 11? :smiley:

Speaking of pornspeak, has anyone ran into ** Bukkake Fan ** some weirdo who can’t seem to stop talking about bukkake? I wonder how long it will be before he is banned.

He’s just trolling for a bukkake website, he’s gone as soon as an admin logs on again, I’m sure.

Now that I checked, he’s gone already

I considered writing porn for money at one time and read some to get a feel for it. God, it was awful. Gushing thises and hammering thats. That’s when I figured out I wasn’t a pornographer. I still write stories with strong sexual content, but I do them mhy own way, with plots and characters and everything. I self-publish and by all accounts, I make better money than most traditional mainstream and porn writers and suffer none of the traditional frustrations of writing for the idiots that publish traditional porn. Eatcher hearts out.

I’m with you, brother. A movie with nothing but 2 hours of begging would totally suck.

It’s not a rant, either…so I don’t want it. I’m locking this off, as being generally inappropriate for the SDMB.

Lynn