I didn’t invent this, my coworker uses it; it might be common for all I know.
But she has a dog she calls the Ch’wiener, for the chow and dachshund heritage.
“Peenging”- using the sound of the urine stream in the toilet bowl to adjust my aim so that I don’t have to turn on the bathroom light in the middle of the night.
Pseudorgasm - she’s faking it
How about “Norgasm: No, that’s not working either.”
Someone in my office created it, but we all use it: Indignorant. For people who get indignant at us over the phone because they are ignorant about what they need.
I describe the way certain cold medicines make me feel as floofy, it’s sort of flaky and goofy.
Snuffleupagation: The tendency of technical or mechanical glitches, gremlins and such to disappear when the unit is inspected or sent for repair.
(From Mr. Snuffleupagus, a creature on Sesame Street who will only come out of hiding for Big Bird, vanishing when other characters appear.)
This word was rejected in 2005 by the Atlantic Monthly’s Word Fugitives column, apparently because only puns, not portmanteaux, were acceptable.
However, nowhere was it stated in the contest rules that submissions must be puns. Life ain’t fair sometimes.
I doubt these haven’t been thought of elsewhere, but in order to stop offending people when I swear…which is a lot…I created a couple of terms that fit well but don’t give anyone reason to act indignant: 'jackhole, and ‘son of a mother’.
Edit to add: I guess jackhole is the only real portmanteau there, though the second one is a couple of phrases thrown together…just some stuff left out. 
Translate/calque meatatarian in French and you have viandarien (viande à rien - nothing meat).
Oh, I’m going to show off my linguistical skill to my friends.
I’m certain others use this as well - but my kids are convinced that hanitizer (hand sanitizer) is a real word.
Mallcurity-mall security, from the days when I worked in a mall
For some reason, I greatly prefer “shitacular” to “craptacular.”
I forgot one I might have invented but my whole family uses. Canberries: The jellied cranberry sauce that stays in the shape of a can.
Gruse. A combo of gross and gruesome I invented in my youth that I still use today.
Snorgles. That isn’t mine. Someone on the Dope created that or used it in the context of kitty- cuddling. I use it exclusively with the SuperKittehs. They approve.
My cubemate’s four year old daughter came up with ‘ginantical’ to describe something big. We all use it now.
Google on “sniglets”. A whole genre of this sort of thing. An example is:
Downpause: The split second interruption of rain as you drive your car under a bridge.
My step-grandfather once had a hard time getting out the words “windshield wipers”. It came out “windsheepers”. We’ve used that term ever since.
Catastrofuck, for screwups that are bigger than a clusterfuck and demand more profanity than a word like catastrophe.
If he prefers same sex imaginary numbers, is he a fauxmosexual?
Gription…a mix of grip and friction. think about it.
Daylight Slaving Time. Happens every spring at the home center!
Those of us in D-wing workroom came up with edubabble back around '85. We combined education and psychobabble. It may have been in use already, but we came up with it independently.