I misread this as Pre-death casseroles, which calls to mind a whole different genre.
As mentioned above, in Judaism it’s considered a mitzvah (good deed) to prepare a meal for those in mourning.
It is interesting for me to learn about Jewish traditions, which I personally know practically nothing about. In my circle of friends and acquaintances, there are virtually no Jewish families, or at least they no longer observe their traditions as far as I can tell. In Christian circles, condolence visits are customary, but as far as I know, no food is brought along. Of course, there is also support for the bereaved in their everyday lives immediately after the death, but this is handled in a rather pragmatic manner according to the needs of the respective person concerned. In rural areas, there is a funeral reception after the funeral, i.e., those closest to the deceased are invited to a meal or coffee and cake afterwards. I am not familiar with this custom in large cities, but of course each family can organize this according to their own wishes. Some people, myself included, prefer to be alone when grieving, as contact with others tends to be stressful.
Yeah, the first time I read it, I laughed because I immediately saw the other meaning. I did know what @puzzlegal really meant though.
Yes, this used to be referred to as a collation and does happen in the US (though I’m not sure anyone uses that term anymore).
This still happens in my area. Anyone who is at the funeral is invited to join the family for a meal and sharing time. This happened just last week at my uncle’s funeral, when cookies and fruit were served, and the microphone was given to those who wished to share a memory or anecdote about my late uncle.
During the Battle of the Bulge, troops of the 101st Airborne were surrounded by German forces in the town of Bastogne.
To the U.S.A. Commander of the encircled town of Bastogne.
The fortune of war is changing. This time the U.S.A. forces in and near Bastogne have been encircled by strong German armored units. More German armored units have crossed the river Ourthe near Ortheuville, have taken Marche and reached St. Hubert by passing through Hompre-Sibret-Tillet. Libramont is in German hands.
There is only one possibility to save the encircled U.S.A. troops from total annihilation: that is the honorable surrender of the encircled town. In order to think it over a term of two hours will be granted beginning with the presentation of this note.
If this proposal should be rejected one German Artillery Corps and six heavy A. A. Battalions are ready to annihilate the U.S.A. troops in and near Bastogne. The order for firing will be given immediately after this two hours term.
All the serious civilian losses caused by this artillery fire would not correspond with the well-known American humanity.
The German Commander.
And the response:
To the German Commander.
NUTS!
The American Commander.
The only time I’ve been involved in a meal train was when a woman at work gave birth to a baby that was barely big enough to be viable. He was under 2 pounds. He was in the hospital for a long time of course. You could either sign up to bring meals or donate for gift cards. The little guy was a remarkable success story. He’s a completely healthy 10 year old.
Here’s a recipe for funeral potatoes, Cheesy Funeral Potatoes - Cooking in the Midwest
People help out in other ways than food, too. Many years ago our family was close friends with a particular neighbor, when their just-launched son died in an auto accident. He lived alone, but had adopted a pair of puppies just a few weeks before. Our family, mostly me and one of my brothers, took over care of the dogs, feeding, walking, playing with, every day for about a month, until the parents were able to make decisions about what to do with them. (They eventually were adopted by a cousin’s family.)
It was no big deal on us, but it saved them stressing over what to do when so much else had to be dealt with. And it certainly beat the “let us know if we can do anything” offer people tend to default to. So figure out what this person might need that you can do, and then offer to pick the kids up from school, pick up needed supplies, heck, even keeping the vegetable garden picked and watered might be a relief for them.
StarvingButStrong what your brother and you did is just such an amazing thing! Y’all did a great service not just for the family but also for those pups. Fantastic!
Bringing food to the bereaved is very much a thing where I live. Some churches even provide a meal for the family either before or after the service as the family desires. The meal is usually coordinated by someone(s) to ensure that there are a variety of foods. A good friend died recently and my church had a brunch to which everyone who attended the service was invited to come. That took some coordination for sure, but the organizers contacted certain people and asked that they make and bring specific foods in sufficient quantities. I think around a hundred people attended and all were well fed.
Yeah, potlucks require considerable coordination. It’s not just “luck!”
Suddenly realizes why that popped up in the Polls - No Comments thread. It seemed kind of random.
Some version of this happens several times a year in my region. They’ll also show up during planting, and other critical times, and not just due to a farmer’s death. The death of the farmer’s spouse or child, or a serious illness will also lead to this kind of thing.
I remember reading somewhere about a man who grumbled about a house down the road whose yard had gotten overgrown, and mentioned to another neighbor that he was going to report them to the city. The neighbor said, “Oh, didn’t you hear? One of their kids got really sick/was in an accident/something like that, and has been in the hospital, a couple hours’ drive away.”
He got on his riding mower, put-putted down to the neighbors that he had never met, and mowed their yard.
Isn’t a Wake–Irish?–the same thing
The casserole is a drop-off item. There’s no obligation for the grieving family to invite the giver in. An Irish wake is a communal gathering.
Christians mourn for ± a week, then have a viewing, at least around here frequently an evening before the funeral. Jews, & Muslims, bury the deceased quickly (within 24 hrs is not uncommon) & then do their mourning afterwards. They are typically closed casket funerals & the only ‘receiving line’ is in the couple of minutes immediately preceding the funeral. If one can’t make the funeral, especially with the shorter notice the only way to personally extend condolences would be to attend the shiva or mourning house. I’ve even seen that location change nightly, as in a elderly parent dies & night one is at one adult kid’s house & night two is at the other adult kid’s house so their friends & neighbors can extend condolences locally.
Well, when there is a death in a family, there are usually many visitors. You have family gathering and close friends visiting to personally deliver condolences and comfort. It’s not only a huge chore to provide food, it can be an expensive one as well.
Thank you, that is very interesting to learn!