Post your DOH!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

OK, here’s mine…

I’m a computer software troubleshooter by training, and home handyman at home. Reasonably competent (or at least I thought so…)

I bought a new computer from a fly-by-late-evening computer dealer at one of those roving computer shows. Price was right, the sales clerk was cute… ya know how it goes.

I took it home, cleaned off my desk, and put the computer on it. Admired it for a bit… and decided I didn’t like the desk where it was. So I took the computer off and moved the desk to another wall of the room. With a new electrical outlet…

Put everything together and fired up the machine.

Ran like a champ. Better than the last name brand machine I had.

About a week later, I printed for the first time, and when I reach over to get the printout, POW!!! I get hit with the biggest electrical shock of my life. So I start looking at the printer, and determine that there is a short.

The printer is old, and has never had a short before; so it must be the PC. I check the back of the PC, and sure enough, the PC is tingling too. So the power supply MUST be the cause of the short.

I called the PC sales company and complain. They agree to take back the machine and test it. If there is a problem, they’ll ship me a new machine. No problem, I box it up and send it on its way.

A week later the guy calls. He’s been over it and cannot find a short. He’s shipping me the same machine back. When it arrives, I plug it back in and touch the back panel again; sure enough, it’s still shorting out.

So I call the sales company again, and read the owner the riot act. I’m livid, I’m rude, I’m shouting. (I’m not normally this way, but I was sure that the guy was trying to screw me.) He swears to me that he personally tested everything and that there isn’t a short anywhere in the system.

After telling him “I don’t care, I’m sending back this piece of junk, and I want my $ back”, I box up the machine again. On my drive to the post office, fuming, I run the scenario past a friend, and tell him my intentions.

He asks, “So, did you test the outlet?”

I stop, dead in my tracks.

Literally pull over on the side of the road.

Sure enough, when I got home and tested the outlet; it’s shorting out.

I called the owner of the PC company and apologized for my previous call. I sent them a letter of apology and a bag of treats as well.

So, in total, this fiasco cost me; an hour of packing & unpacking my computer 3 times, 15 minutes to fix the short, $55 dollars to pay for shipping, and one big ole meal of crow and humble pie.

22

I’ve got you all beat.

A couple weeks ago, we were waiting to get out of work when a friend and I decided to play a rousing game of Tic Tac Toe on his big dry erase board. We draw the little grid, and I start the game by putting an X in the bottom righthand corner. He puts an O in the top lefthand corner. I put an X above my last one. He puts an O above that, in the upper right hand corner, blocking me. Since I have been at work for about nine and 1/2 hours at this point, and am tired, and am not really paying attentiont to this stupid game anyway, I think his purpose in this is just to block me, and move to the bottom row where I place an X in the middle, at the very same moment saying out loud “I think you and I might be too smart to play this game.” Yes, that’s really what I said. :rolleyes:

He puts his O in the middle of top row, wins, and says to me “Well, at least I am.”

D’OH!

I almost couldn’t show my face at work anymore after that. I lost at Tic Tac freakin’ Toe!!!

23

My best DOH! happened at work.

I was hiring for an open position and had to call some references. One guy’s reference was working from home. I arranged a time to call and talk with her. When it was time to call, I dialed and waited. Her son answered and we had the following exchange:

Teenage Boy: Hello?

Me: Hello, this is SeGate. May I please speak with Mrs. X?

TB: Retarded.

Me: Excuse me, what?

TB: Retarded.

Me (getting indignant): EXCUSE ME?!

TB (stretching out the word): Re-gar-ding?
Everyone in the office things this is quite hilarious, even two years later. Whenever someone has misheard something they always say, “Retarded what?”

Ah, to be a catch-phrase – I’m so very proud.

24

The look on your face when you realize your mistake: Priceless.

25

Another “my car’s been stolen” one.
Friday night out with best friend. Sometime she comes by and picks me up, sometimes I go to her house and leave from there, depending upon our destination. This night was the latter case.

We do our thing, and at the end of the night we end up near my neighborhood, so without thinking she drops me off at home. Notice car’s not there. Hmm, Mom must’ve taken it to the store or something( she’s a night owl like me, so this wouldn’t be an unusual thing, to be fair :slight_smile: ). Get to door, nope, she’s home. Brief “um, where the hell is my car?” moment before I realize it’s still at best friend’s house. Luckily she’s still parked in front of the house, so I hop in and go back to her place to retrieve my vehicle, where it was still sitting, safe and sound in the driveway. D’oh. :slight_smile:

26

  1. In high school, I jumped into the pool for our weekly swimming classes. The good news is that I remembered to change into my swimming trunks. The bad news was that I forgot to take my shirt off.

  2. Going home for lunch in primary school, and wondering why my parents are out. Then I realised that I ambled out of school during morning break - a full hour before lunch.

  3. One afternoon last year, I spent 30 seconds jabbing my car keys into the door of my flat wondering why it wouldn’t open.

27

I had been out most of the night and woke up feeling the worse for wear and desperatley needing to ‘drop the kids off at the pool’. I put on my dressing gown and ambled downstairs, picked up the sunday papers from the letterbox and went through to the kitchen to use the downstairs toilet. I dropped my boxers, lifted the seat sat down and opened the paper…at this point I realised I was sitting on the kitchen bin. Luckily I didn’t start the ‘proceedings’.

28

Called my GF by my (soon to be ex-)wife’s name during the heat of passion. My excuse is they start with the same letter and are both fairly short (the names, not the women). Fortunately my GF’s very understanding and forgiving :slight_smile:

I once went to school on a public holiday. At an hour and a half trip each way that was my day off pretty much ruined.

29

My last full semester at college last spring, I showed up at the wrong day for TWO of my finals. I had been pulling all nigthters all that week. The first one, I was just like, ha ha that was a silly thing to do. The second time, I thought I was losing my mind.

Luckily, though, I showed up 1-2 days early for both. :slight_smile:

30

WILLASS’s story has just reminded me that I got lost in my own toilet once.

I had been drinking, but wasn’t too drunk. Went to sleep for a bit then woke up needing to pee. So half asleep I went into the toilet, which has no windows only an airvent, and forget to switch on the light. I must have sat down on the floor after taking care of business and fallen asleep because the next thing I know I’m in pitch black darkness with no clue where I am.

I really was panicking. I think I sat there ten minutes wondering and panicking, then explored the room with my hands until I found a sink. I then realised where I was and managed to feel my way out. I was ever so relieved. I had been living in that house a year and a half at time, by the way.

31

I was in town one day, as I was walking along I passed a parked car. I could hear that “Ketchup Song” playing, passed the next car and the next … and I’m thinking it odd that three cars all had their radios on the same station. I keep on walking, and I can still hear “aserje a hey whatever the words are” and I’m wondering wuh duh fuh? I looks all around for someone with a stereo or somesuch and can’t see anything … t’was my new mobile phone with it’s polyphonic ringtone. D’oh!

32

Oh, and another day I went into town, bought the papers etc, gets back home and thinks “where’s the car?” I’d driven into town and walked back … D’Oh!

33

I suppose this one could count as a D’oh moment…
This happened about two summers ago. It was a nice day, so me and gf decided to go swimming in a lake close by her parents house. We get to the lake, I’m wearing my swim shorts and a t-shirt. So I take off my t-shirt and proceed to jump in the lake. I swim around for a bit until I feel something in my pocket…hmmm…what’s this? My phone. Shit. Get out of the water and empty my pockets. My wallet, my mobile phone, and my car keys (the electronic kind). Can’t believe I forgot that I had stuff in my pockets before jumping in. D’OH!

My phone obviously didn’t work any more (I took it apart to dry all the parts and then put it back together. I could at least turn it on, but no signal…). The keys luckily did work.

34

Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference, 1987. Small college campus somewhere in Vermont, don’t remember exactly - a weekend of high school kids getting together and criticizing each others’ writing. There was a party the first night, and I thought it would be a brilliant idea to bring my antique naval uniform (Spanish-American War) and sport that around. Getting a couple looks from the rather attractive female section of the population, so I figure I’ll play it suave, and I turn my head toss off some smooth comment over my shoulder, and leap up onto the side of the porch…

…straight into one of the supporting columns. Right as I turn my head around to see where I’m going.