little tidbit here- for the die-hard simpsons fan, here is a link to a dance medley containing several of the lines found in this thread… You’ll need something like winamp to play it. It is a KICKASS song, you gotta have it; but it is about a 1MB download.
I just replayed the .wav to absolutely make sure. The correct order for the Deer sequence is Homer (“DOH!”), Lisa (“A deer!”), Marge (“A female deer!”).
Besides, it’s a fun .wav to have. Want me to send it?
Bart and Homer are teasing sharks by waving their bare asses at them through a glass bottom boat. Homer says to the shark “And you call yourself king of the jungle!”
Marge: Homer, did you see this picture Bart drew?
Homer: Oh, it’s BEAUTIFUL. Wonderful!
Marge: Homer, look at it.
(Homer looks at a picture of Bart being tortured)
Homer: AAAHHH!! Burn it, send it straight to Hell!
Homer: (to gun store owner) Five day waiting period?!? But I’m mad now!
Barney: (talking about alcohol) There’s nothing like a depressant to chase away the blues.
Homer: (after being sucked into a three-dimensional universe) Awww! Now I wish I’d read that book by that wheelchair guy.
Cult Recruiter: We’re having a free orientation this weekend.
Homer: When is it?
Recruiter: This weekend.
Homer: Oh. And how much does it cost?
Recruiter: It’s free.
Homer: I see. And when will you be having this free weekend?
Recruiter: This weekend.
Homer: And how much will you be charging?
Recruiter: It’s free.
…And so on
The Canyonero “squirrel smashing, deer smacking driving machine” song.
Ralph, saying “I think I wet my bed” after a flood from a broken dam plopped him and his bed in front of the Simpson house.
When Homer went to Klown Kollege - prior to going, everything he saw changed to clowns and you’d hear that do-do-doody-doody-do-do calliope music. Best when Marge morphed into clowndom.
Smithers: “We’ll be deafened by the incessant hooting of owls.”
No, no, no. It’s “Owls will deafen us with their incessant hooting!”
Obviously a critical distinction.
Homer: That John is the greatest guy in the world. We’ve gotta have him
and his wife over for drinks sometime.
Marge: Hmm, I don’t think he’s married, Homer.
Homer: Oh, a swinging bachelor, eh? Well, there’s lots of foxy ladies
out there.
Marge: Homer, didn’t John seem a little… festive to you?
Homer: Couldn’t agree more. Happy as a clam.
Marge: [insisting] He prefers the company of men!
Homer: Who doesn’t?
Marge: Homer, listen carefully. John is a ho - mo…
Homer: Right.
Marge: … sexual.
Homer: [pause] Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
When the Cheif and Homer are chasing Marge and friend across the desert, the Chief radios in for assistance - this is his attempt to tell them where they are
Chief: we’re in the desert …there are some bushes …ummmmm…I’m directly under the Earth’s sun …now!
During the night the chief is following the car when the rear lights in front of him disappear
Chief : Oh my God…its a ghost car…there all over the highways here
(Watching Krusty’s Christmas special)
Lisa: Isn’t Krusty Jewish?
Bart: Lisa, Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship the birth of Jesus Christ, the savior.
Bart: You shot the Zombie Flanders!
Homer: Flanders was a zombie?
Homer: (praising immigrants) While the rest of us are drinking ourselves silly, they’re driving the cabs that get us home, they’re writing the operas that make us laugh, Taming our tigers and kicking our extra points.
(Bart and Homer sneak into school to steal grease from the deep fryer)
Willie: Who are you?
Homer: Uhh…exchange students
Willie: From Where?
Homer: err…Scotland.
Willie: NO! I’m from Scotland too! What town are ye from?
Homer: North…Kilttown?
Willie: I’M from North Kiltown! D’ye no Angus McFeely?
Homer: Wait a minute, There’s no Angus McFeely in north Kilttown; You’re not Scottish at all!
Troy McClure(in Stop the planet of the Apes, I want to get off): I hate every ape I see, from chimpan A to Chimpanzee, you’ll never make a monkey out of me./ Oh no I was wrong, it was earth all along, you finally made a monkey out of me.
Scorpio (preping flamethrower): Homer, if you’ve ever wanted to kill anybody now is the time; it would really help me out alot. :Begins attacking soldiers:
Creepy Shop Guy: the Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: Can I go now.
Repair Guy: Yup! Here’s your problem. Someone set this thing to Evil.
Homer: I’d get up, but the boy crippled me.
Dr. Nick: Hi, Everybody!
All: Hi, Dr. Nick!
Dr. Nick: I will perform any medical procedure for only One-Ninety-Nine, Ninety-Five.
Mojo’s computer: PRAY FOR MOJO
Marge: I’M THE HEAD VAMPIRE!
Lisa: Mom?
Marge: Well I do have a life outside of this house you know.
Homer: Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American Dream?
“Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse.”
“That’s bad.”
“But it comes with a free frogurt!”
“That’s good!”
“The frogurt is also cursed.”
“That’s bad.”
“But it comes with your choice of toppings!”
“That’s good!”
“The toppings contain Potassium Benzoate.”
(Homer looks blank. Evil store guy finally says:)
“That’s bad.”
(Homer)Can I go now?
Bart: “My killing teacher says I’m a natural.”
During the teacher’s strike, Marge and Homer are concerned about Lisa. Homer notes that Lisa’s perpetual motion machine is a joke, it just keeps going faster and faster. He then yells down the hall to Lisa that,“we obey the laws of thermal dynamics in this house.”
