Go to Disneyworld - A friend once remarked, “If you like standing in line, sweating your ass off, and spending a ton of money, then there ain’t no place better.”
Sleep in a tent
Ride a horse
Go to Disneyworld - A friend once remarked, “If you like standing in line, sweating your ass off, and spending a ton of money, then there ain’t no place better.”
Sleep in a tent
Ride a horse
Fighting a land war in Asia
It’s actually the down part that’ll make you sore, much more so than the up part.
Mine: Bungee Jump. If I’m going to intentionally free fall again, there’s going to be a parachute strapped to my back, not an oversized rubber band!
Yeah, no kidding! I still haven’t gotten over my attempt to take Russia from the west.
Never again:
Threesome
Tequila
Drugs
You sprinkle it on the sandwich before you place the bread on it. You also sprinkle it on cantaloupe, cottage cheese, baked potatoes, pea soup, pot roast, baked apples and any product where you can possibly sprinkle something on something. You then wonder why your kids prefer take out or at least the right to make their own meals with the dreaded germ vanquished to the furthest ends of the shelves. To this day I cannot abide the stuff. I have dreams of being drowned in a vat of it and crying for help where no one can hear me.
My psycho ex (here’s hoping!) - Because he won’t meet my condition for getting back together. Said he would, but hasn’t done it, and I’m not going back on it no matter what.
Eat meat - I’m not a savage
Date a Muslim - Anything I say might get me jumped on, so just no.
Pay for music - Obviously, I’m a music thief.
Get my ears (or anything else) pierced - I have the right amount of piercings.
I always start out in Australia. Less attack points.
(RISK)
I will never allow myself to be lifted and carried in my wheelchair (or out of it, for that matter) up a flight of stairs again. Years ago i was dropped near the top of a very steep, narrow and tall flight of outdoor steps when my buddy holding the back of my chair slipped and dropped me. My chair went flying down the stairs, flipping and crashing as it went. It was only because i was able to grab a hold of the metal railing with my outstretched hand and hang on that i didnt go flipping with it.
From that day, i get out of my chair and get up the stairs on my ass and have some one else carry my (empty) wheelchair up for me. Its much safer all around, and most importantly, i remain in control of my own safety.
Things I’ll never do again:
Get married. Once was enough, I like being single.
Have more kids. The ones I’ve got are adults. If I want youth to corrupt I’ll wait for them to have their own.
Eat a raw oyster. Yuck.
Have sex with a woman older than me.
Not do something I want to do because of concern about what other people might think. DILLIGAF.
<nitpick>
It’s not rotten, it’s fermented. Like strong cheese. But yeah, it’s a bit too much for me, too.
</nitpick>
This. Times twenty. I don’t regret having any of the kids, but… been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Never going back.
Now you mention it, actually, you do look like you’ve got a fish.
One from me: Order something off a restaurant menu where I don’t speak the language, there aren’t any pictures on said menu, and the country is known for “weird” food.
Play rugby
Play competitive chess
See a pretty woman in the flesh without her clothes on
See a picture of one and experience any more excitement than I’d get from studying a work of art
Spend all afternoon floating an inch above the ground because I just bought an engagement ring for the person I want to spend the rest of my life with
Spend all Christmas Day at an ex-fiancee’s house with her family because she picked Christmas Eve to call it off and I had nowhere else to go
Stand on a bus station in the pouring rain with a sackful of Christmas presents for my family that I have no other way to transport
Ride a new motorbike off the forecourt
See the look in someone’s eyes that tells me she absolutely has to go to bed with me as soon as humanly possible
Sleep with someone else’s wife
Try to find a publisher for a book manuscript
Receive a bj delivered with enthusiasm and intent
Father a child
Spend a day free of pain (plenty have it far worse, though)
See a total eclipse of the sun (and cloud nearly ruined the one I did see)
That must have been one helluva night.
mmm
Well, you’re not supposed to do them in that order.
-Smoke
-Play rugby
-Drugs
-The way things are going, go on a date
I will never again ride The Tower of Terror at any Disney Park.
If you were to ask my son, he’d say he’ll never again sit next to me on The Tower of Terror at any Disney Park.
Take any kind of medicine containing codeine.
Go to a loud concert.
Take a ten-hour redeye plane trip.
Eat a pot brownie.
Believe that Peter Jackson will make another great movie.
Go to Mexico.
Drink gin or tequila.
As God is my witness, as God is my witness they’re not going to lick me. I’m going to live through this and when it’s all over, I’ll never be hungry again. No, nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again.
Grind against a married woman in a bar.
Sleep in the same bed with someone I’m not married to (or related to).
Live in a hotel for a year. (Please, God).
Run cross-country.