Post Your Silly 'Rants' here

Go ahead, post your silly rant here.

Dear Bounty Paper Towel Company,

I appreciate the new ‘modern’ prints you have used to adorn your paper towels. The ABC’s print that I purchased was epecially cute.
That is, until I spilled my coffee and pulled enough paper towels off the roll to get to M.

M is depicted by a mouse.

HELLO?

What are you thinking?! Everyone knows that M should stand for Monkey! MONKEY!

Somehow I think that the mouse ties in with my theory. By adding a mouse, I am to think “huh? I wonder if I am properly stocked with mouse traps?”

How convenient that your company also manufactures Mouse
Traps.

I am not pleased with your blantant mind games, Bounty, and I will no longer buy your evil communist products until M is changed to MONKEY as it should be.

Sincerly,
Babs

Err monkeys are generally bad tempered, violent and smelly. The less contact I have with them the better.

[sub](pssst CRorex… you’re not playing along. C’mon, post up a silly rant of your own). [/sub]

What stupid asshat decided on the right foot / left foot convention for walking? Who? Where are you? Why can’t I go right / right / left ? That’s what I want and I say that freedom is guaranteed in the constitution. I blame a vast hitherto unknown conspiracy (from the moon) which forces little children to obey their absurd one leg forward / the other leg forward convention!

Curses!

Publix, my local grocery store chain sells bags of chicken cutlets, $6.99 per bag. I make “stuffed chicken” and use 2 cutlets per person. NINE come in a bag, so I’m left with an extra unless I buy two bags or put the last one with the new bag. Not a big deal but now Publix has decided to even up the number. Now you only get 8 cutlets for $6.99! It should have been 10 damnit! Or an even dozen! What’s this 8 crap?! Thank you, I’m feeling better now :stuck_out_tongue:

What the hell is up with Coke, Pepsi, and other soft drinks? All those damn bubbles. What idiot came up with that idea?

Dammit! Why did that bloody A* grade boundary have to be at 80%, when Loneraven gets 79% in her exam!

Gaaah!

Thanks, I feel much better now.

Why are feet shaped the way they are? The inside should be the same as the outside. That way, it wouldn’t MATTER which shoe goes on which foot. Think of the time it would safe!

Man, I don’t know who I’m supposed to rant to about this, but it must be somebody’s fault.

To the guy with the White Porsche on the 101.
Look your letting the side down old chap. You were only doing 65
I know thats the speed limit, but the road was quite clear, I overtook you at 75 and just felt that if you have a Porsche and don’t want to take advantage of it, you could at least swap it with me for my VW Golf.
Cheers, Bippy

Hey, Bippy, you beardless jerk! Why couldn’t you pick a less amusing screen name? I see who has “last posted”, and, well, there’s soda coming out through my nose. You bastard!

Oh well, at least you redeem yourself by driving a Golf like I do.

Harrumph.

I hate Boobs. I mean, sure, they come in handy some times, and they look nice in sweaters, but they’re just so ANNOYING! They get in the way. Every step you take you get a painful reminder that they’re there… and try running! Or ski-dooing! Or just driving on a bumpy road! And guys don’t talk to you, they talk to your boobs! So muc for having an intualectual conversation…
I can’t take a shortcut to my moms work anymore,(its a gap between a fence and a building) because of the damned boobs.
And I hate the word “breast”. Its annoying. Whenever I hear it, I think of “chicken breast”, and KFC. Plus, its so damned formal. I don’t think theres one good word to describe boobs. Breast is too formal, tit is too trashy, “gonzagas” is too vulgar, boob is too 2 year old…
And then theres the whole bra thing. That is a main reason why boobs suck. Bras are not fun. Especially in high school where theres lots of boys whgo enjoy snapping bra straps.

:breathe:

Ok, I think I’m done.

Oh, I also don’t like pennies.

Mmmm…SNACKTRAYS!

:wink:

[sub] yes I am, I hate monkeys those evil smelly nasty creatures[/sub]

to the ins-

why did you ever let my physics teacher enter the country? he’s an absolute sadist and has no business teaching! why? i say, why?

[sub]NO! You are not. I did not post a thread titled: post your silly lies here. No sir, I did not. Monkeys rock the casbah, baby. More so, Monkeys is Money! [/sub]

::shudder::

See what I mean?

gotta love 8-bit theater! lol.

Well, I hate man-boobs. They are sick.

What’s with those restaurants that serve Pepsi? No one I know likes/drinks Pepsi. Seriously. I hate it when I say, “Can I have a Diet Coke?” and they say, “Is Pepsi okay?”

No, Pepsi is NOT okay. Pepsi is nasty. The only places that should serve Pepsi are places that are OWNED by Pepsi, i.e., KFC, Pizza Hut, etc…and I know to avoid them so it’s not a big deal…but when I go to a restaurant I am EXPECTING a Coca Cola product! You charge two bucks for a glass of fountain soda, so I know you’re making a KILLING off the stuff…the least you could do is make it worth buying! Jesus!

sigh

I feel better.

Can I just add people who think that movies are conversation? Like, “Have you seen Movie X?” And when I say no, they say, “Oh, well it’s got this great scene where somebody does such-and-such and MAN, it’s so funny…you should really see it…have you seen Movie Y?”

I say no, and they say, “Oh, well it’s got this cool sequence where somebody does such-and-such and I swear the graphics were awesome! You should really see it…it reminded me of Movie Z! Have you seen it?”

The same thing applies to books I haven’t read, songs I haven’t heard, and TV shows I don’t watch. STOP IT.

People who talk to me while I’m trying to read really piss me off, too. Don’t ask me what the book is about because I know you don’t really care. Don’t tell me about a book you read once, because I don’t care about that, either. Don’t read over my shoulder and don’t assume that the only reason I’m reading is because I don’t have anyone to talk to.

CAN’T YOU SEE I’M READING?

bitter

What’s up with mixed metaphors? I hate 'em. Realy tick me off. Other day, somebody said “The nuts and bolts went up in smoke when the shit hit the fan.” Mixed metaphors, people.
Boobs do not suck.
Boobs are the suck-ees. Men are the suckers. [sub]I mean …[/sub]