The Small One wants to see the Smurfs, and so in moments, we shall be going to see the goddamned Smurfs. In CGI. With a stock “vulgar Scottish” Smurf character that wasn’t in the show or the comics but it’s now a requirement that a certain percentage of comedies have a vulgar Scot.
Lord help me, this is going to be horrible.
Write an update when you get back. That is, after you can uncurl from the fetal position, and stop moaning.
My God have mercy on your smurf.
Board policy prohibits me from making my most useful suggestion… 
Stay Smurfy!
May the smurf be with you.
Well, you may luck out. When The Druidess and I went to see Captain America yesterday, the Smurfs sold out, causing much wailing and other displays of displeasure from many little people in line ahead of us.
I’m positively smurfied for you. You have my smurfs.
The Smurfs sold out? That may be even more horrifying than having to see it!
Look at the bright side, RickJay: you can collect material for your next standup comedy routine. There must be something about the parents, the kids, the theatre, and so on, that you can put some kind of humorous spin on. Forget the movie–watch the people.
You have no sympathy from me. By seeing this movie, you are ensuring more of its kind are created.
Have a Smurfy time!!
Oh, since you asked ((((RickJay))))
The IMDb tells me that Sofia Vergara (Gloria on Modern Family) appears in the movie, so there should at least be some eye candy for the dads in the audience.
I don’t know, it’s got NPH in it so there might be a few salvageable scenes.
Edit: Comedy wise, we know you don’t roll that way RickJay.
Now, now - it may not be the worst possible choice. To quote the Sf Chronicle review:
Parents who drew the short straw will be pleased to find that the movie isn’t god-awful. It’s refreshingly mediocre. Put that blurb on the DVD jacket.
From here. See! Refreshingly mediocre! How much more can you ask for :D?
make believe your watching Blue Man Group
Y’know, when I was a wee tot, there were some movies that I wanted to see, but for which my mom just said “No”. Most of them, in fact. I’m not sure that she ever took my sister and I to more than two or three movies, in the entire time we were growing up (in fact, I think we’ve now taken Mom to see more movies than the reverse). And it didn’t do us any harm at all.
How nice for you. As it happens, I enjoy taking my daughter to the movies; it’s a great chance for us to have some laughs and good times, just the two of us. Your mother had a different approach, which is fine, but the relevance is not immediately apparent to me.
As to the topic - you know, the Smurfs movie - as noted by a few posters, it wasn’t as ghastly as I expected. It was lame and predictable but not bottom of the barrel; it sure wasn’t nearly as bad as “Hop.”
What’s interesting is that its not-quite-that-terriblesness was NOT due to NPH, who does a good enough job but is pretty boring. The real work is done by Hank Azaria, who takes the Gargamel role and runs with it big time.
One might get the impression, from your OP, that you did not anticipate enjoying taking your daughter to this movie.
I know one mom who hired the babysitter to take her kids to the Smurf movie, while she and her husband had a relaxing evening at home. I thought this was brilliant. Thankfully the Kiddo is not interested.
It doesn’t actually sound that awful. Mediocre, yes, but there seems like there are funny moments.