I’ve been meaning to start this thread for a while, but as soon as I heard the songs that made me ponder the subject, I promptly forgot what they were. It turns out that one of them is “NY Roll” by Surviving August (“I want to see you in my dreams/I want to give you everything/please God I pray you make her mine”). I haven’t remembered the other yet, but the gist is the same: In each the singer prays that God will make the object of their affections fall in love with them.
I’m sure this is something that happens in real life too, which is why I put this here instead of the Cafe Society. The songs themselves don’t matter, just the theme.
In your humble opinion, is it creepy or acceptable for someone to pray that another person falls in love with them? On one hand it shows deep feelings on the part of the prayer-asker, but on the other, isn’t the prayer basically asking God to take away free will from the other person? Or do you see them as asking for something different?
I don’t think you have to be religious yourself to have an opinion, by the way. If you don’t believe in God yourself, look at it this way: even though their prayer can’t be answered as far as you’re concerned, is it creepy or acceptable that they believe that you can be swayed in this way?
I think you’re overanalyzing this just a bit too much. Everyone wants to be loved. And love happens to be… hey, someone should write a song about that!
I wouldn’t say it’s “creepy”, but I guess I would say that praying for God to make a specific person fall in love with you probably isn’t the way that most religious folks would suggest going about things. After all, if you believe God is all-knowing, then God may have someone better in mind for you that you just haven’t met yet because the time isn’t right.
So, it seems like a more appropriate thing to pray for would be to pray for God to help you recognize it when the right person comes along, or something along those lines. But that wouldn’t be as much fun in a song, right?
Funny thing is, back when I was much younger I did pray for a guy who had rejected me to have a change of heart…and guess what? Eventually, he did become interested in me again and tried to get me back. However, by that point, I had moved on and it was actually a pretty crappy situation for all of us (me, him, and the girl he had left me for that he was now very unhappy with). That scenario is what made me realize that sometimes you have to be careful what you wish (or pray) for. :eek:
I wouldn’t think it creepy for someone to wish or hope that another falls in love with them. IMHO, prayers are hopeful wishes. I don’t believe that prayer does anything more than soothe the mind of the person praying. No harm done.
I see God as a big bully who spends his time pointing and laughing, and not some fantabulous guy who would love nothing more than to lend a helping hand.
Moving away from the religious aspect and into generalizations: every person has thoughts or ideas that he or she might regret if those ideas were to happen. Fantasies, so to speak. I certainly have thoughts (thinks? : pukey smiley: ) that I question. It’s an individual’s responsibility to keep those in the head and refrain from putting them into action. Examples:
Person A wishes/hopes/prays that B will fall in love with A. B does not, and states that the relationship should stay platonic. A swallows it, maybe mopes a bit, and moves on.
Person C wishes/hopes/prays that D will fall in love. D says, “No way in hell, bitch!” C decides D just needs to be convinced of how great everything would be. C takes the initiative to do something about it. After being harrassed and haggled by C, D gets a restraining order. C ignores and violates it, ultimately spending a few months in the slammer. I think this is a repercussion of C’s choice. Don’t blame God - he’s an innocent in this whole scenario!
It was a long time ago, but I once worked at a company and got to be friends with a woman of a different race…we laughed and swapped stories at work, but that was about it. I am Gay and figured we could just be buddies.
Well, it seems she told her pastor that she was “in love” with a guy who was homosexual. The pastor told this to the congregation and they prayed for her and for me. The woman suddenly started showing up at my door at home with members of her parish! I had somehow become their cause du jour. I slammed the door several times…they would wait for me and she would kneel and pray when I walked out.
I was about 19 or 20 at the time, and let me tell you, it freaked me out. I had roommates and would tell them to go out and check to see if the crazies were out there before I would leave the apartment. (BTW, this was in Chicago, not that it makes any difference.)
The only way it finally ended was that, nothing to do with her, I decided to move to Europe and quit my job and moved. However, she did get wind of it and I still recall a very tearful (on her part) farewell shortly before I left the states.
In the town (Ringo: thump, thump)
Where I was born (thump, thump)
Lived a ma-a-an
Who sailed the sea (thump, thump)
And he told (thump-de-thump)
Us of his life (thump, thump)
In the la-an-and
Of submarinees (cute little riff)…
Once I was travelling alone, on an exotic beach, where I met a young British man. He was a wall street whiz type, now retired from being an ‘investment wanker’,( his words not mine). He had money and was on something of a personal mission. In fact he was quite up front about ‘seeking true love’, his goal on his long journey. Yes, he was still so young as to have such a romantic notion.
We were only friends for a few days but I very much enjoyed his company. I never did discover what had set him on this path, heartbreak or heartache, loss or betrayal. It could have been anything.
Before we parted company to head off in different directions, as we said our goodbyes, he asked if I had any advice for him.
I told him I thought it was a fool’s journey to seek true love. It would surely be more productive to seek to be worthy of true love.
And we hugged and parted.
I’ve often wondered if I ruined his holiday. Praying for someone to fall in love with you would be about the same. Wouldn’t it be better to pray to be worthy of their love?
On the contrary, whether or not one believes in the supernatural effects of prayer, the psychological effects are real. Prayer is self-hypnosis, if nothing else. And I think that someone who reinforces their own delusions through prayer is much more likely to become a person C. See Dmark’s example.
I’m a neopagan, but I do subscribe to the Wiccan Rede as a guide to moral behavior: “[As long as it] harms none, do what ye Will.” (With some adjustments. I may choose to do harm, but I do it knowing it’s a choice with repercussions.) I think binding or hindering another person’s Will (which is what this type of prayer - or, in my parlance “spell” - would do) is doing harm. In fact, I’d go so far as to define Evil as thwarting the free will of others.
That’s not to say I won’t do a love spell. I will. But, like elbows, suggests, it’s much more effective and ethical to do a spell to make yourself lovable, or lavenderviolet’s idea of enabling yourself to recognize love. I think it’s even OK to cast a wide net, and draw a theoretical lover to you - but not a specific person. I found my husband the night I did a spell which clearly articulated what I was looking for in a mate - but I wasn’t binding him specifically, just sending out my checklist to the universe, and he came to fufill the order! I didn’t bind his will - any person meeting my requirements would have worked. I also didn’t do the spell to make this hypothetical “fall in love” with me, just to meet me. He had to win me on his own!
So “Dear God, I’d like to meet a dark haired tax attorney who loves puppies and musical theater” would be OK in my book. " Dear God, make the dark haired tax attorney who works on the third floor fall madly in love with me!" would not.
In your humble opinion, is it creepy or acceptable for someone to pray that another person falls in love with them? On one hand it shows deep feelings on the part of the prayer-asker, but on the other, isn’t the prayer basically asking God to take away free will from the other person? Or do you see them as asking for something different?QUOTE]
I see them as asking something different, because God doesn’t work the way magic (if there is such a thing) works. I think that perhaps you are thinking God would cast a spell on someone and force them to be in love, and that that love wouldn’t actually be real, but just a “spell” that might wear off or be lifted.
I don’t see God working that way. If he opens the way for someone to fall in love, it would be the real and lasting love. He wouldn’t be removing their free will, but opening their eyes to a possibility they may have been overlooking. How many times have men on this very board said they were totally clueless when it came to realizing that some woman was attracted to them…someone they later loved and married…until something or someone smacked them upside the head? Well, that’s a bit how God works…smacks you upside the head and says “Pay attention! This person is important to you!”
So I feel that when someone says they pray that someone will fall in love with them, they are just asking God for assistance in focusing someone’s attention. Nobody’s free will is being subverted, and the love they seek is real, not a trance.
I’m not at all sure you can actually fall in love with someone without their reciprocation; it’s not (IMO) love until it starts flowing both ways, it’s, I dunno, attraction, infatuation, obsession, affection, whatever - not necessarily a bad thing, but at least in the vast majority of cases, “I’m so in love with X and he/she doesn’t know it” actually just means “I have the hots for X”.
Love is more of what makes an old person push their crippled partner around in a wheelchair all day; less of what makes your tummy flutter and your heart go boom-diddy-boom.
Anyway… Praying that your affections will be returned… IMO, no better or worse than venting your frustration on any other topic, which is most of what Prayer seems to be about - laying down your cares, not asking santa for pressies (even though the word form may be that of a plea).
