Pre-Poll Data Gathering: Least Newsworthy Person In The News

Help me build a list for a poll. Top 20 most mentioned people in this thread.

Who is “in the news” but has no legitimate reason for being there except for the whims of the press and some ghoulish interest by a faction who see some value in him or her?

I’ll start a list just for example:

Paris Hilton
Sarah Palin
Paula Abdul
Lindsay Lohan

(I won’t count these unless they’re mentioned by others. Just to give an idea of the type.)

Any person named Kardashian.
Any person named “Kendra.”

Tiger Woods
Al Sharpton

Any person named Gosselin.

Rather than spouting off the first name I could think of, I decided to check news headlines for the person I least needed to know about.

The winner (at least for today): Simon Monjack. He was not a celebrity, he was not particularly noteworthy in his own field, or his community, and so far there is nothing to suggest his death was anything out of the ordinary. He was simply the husband of an actress who died young.

Sarah Palin. Even if she rapes a Kodiak bear, saves the crew of a sinking crab boat, or discovers a viable renewable and non-polluting alternative to petroleum. She is currently such a news vacuum that any of these deeds would only balance her out to “regular chick.”

Any woman who has done nothing apart from spawn relentlessly

Any athlete who screws relentlessly (unless said athlete is a porn star).

That Beiber kid. Justin? Jason?

Heidi Montag/Spencer Pratt/Kardashians

I’m going with anyone Kardashian - mostly because I hear their name all the time, but still have no clue exactly who they are or why they’re famous.

With most other “famous for being famous” people, I at least have some idea of what they do (reality shows, lots of kids, has a sex tape). Kardashians? No idea.

I popped in to say the same thing as badbadrubberpiggy, so there you go. Kardashians.

I clicked on this post purely to say “Kardashian.” She’s not even that great-looking. I mean, not bad, but not, say, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue level, which is what someone with a decent body but no talent or accomplishments should need in order to be in so much media.

I get the feeling that a poll is not required!

I must plead a level of ignorance on these Kardasians beyond having seen the name a lot. The last Kardashian I paid any attention to was in OJ’s entourage.

Other than sharing a name with Bob, and having a connection to Bruce Jenner, what’s up with them? How many are there? Do they have names?

“She?” There’s like five of them.

Am I really the first to post Tila Tequila?

Lady Gaga?

Jessica Simpson, surely.

Tiger doesn’t belong here, unless you focus purely on the time period after his last major win (or after his little accident).

That Kate plus Eight person.

I agree. Tiger the golfer is newsworthy. Tiger the diddler is not. And all those gals who got their Andy Warhol 15 as a result of Tiger’s randiness, are less than newsworthy, as are the ones whose “newsworthiness” has come by getting some celebrity to bonk them. My name for such types is Scum.

That was their daddy, who apparently used the money to buy his daughters a celebrity life without their having to actually do anything.

Good to know. If it gets down to an actual poll, what names should we put up?

Anyone with a name that starts with “P” (Palin, Paris, Perez, Paula, Pamela, Pratt, Pelosi, Pkardashian, etc.).