Predict the apocalypse

In this thread, a pretty convoluted reason is given why the apocalypse (or second coming) will happen on 5/21/2011. With a little creativity, any date can be justified as judgement day.

So here’s the game: Come up with an explanation as to why the previous poster’s date will be it. Then post another date of your own.

Start with this one: The world will end on December 26th, 2026.

Santa will finally lose it, fed up with dealing with stroppy kids demanding the latest i-whatever from Apple, and he is unstoppable. Capable of moving at many miles per second and transporting hundreds of thousands of tons of materiel in a single night, it would be trivially easy and a minor change to his routine to deliver the world’s supply of explosives down our collective chimneys. Once he gets bored of that, he can simply accelerate his “sleigh” up to it’s maximum speed, and flatten entire cities with the shock waves he leave behind him.

July 4th 2010.

In a state of drunken merriment, a group of slack-jawed American patriots set off some fireworks near the Russian embassy. Unfortunately, one determined bottle rocket lands in the fuel line of a Chevron truck as it is refueling, causing a massive TV-esque explosion and setting the Russian embassy ablaze. The building burns down within minutes. Medvedev is in a bad mood because his wife was just caught cheating, so Russia declares war on the U.S and launches its full nuclear arsenal. Hijinx ensue.
February 14, 2013.

Kim Jong Il’s personal secretary forgets to send off the usual Valentine’s cards from his adoring fans, Kim goes ballistic, literally.

21st July, 2021

It’s all in the numbers. 21 July 2021 = 2172021. The two 21’s cancel each other out. What are you left with? 720. 7+2+0 = 9. 720 is 6!. 6 and 9 are the second and third multiples of 3. 720 degrees is two complete circles. We cancelled on two 21’s (3x7). What do two 21’s equal? 42 - the answer to life. What did that book start out with? The end of the world.

Next up: October 29, 2011 (my 50th birthday)

Again it’s all about the numbers, but this time it’s a clerical error - the two 1s in 2011 will be misplaced into the 29, making it October 31, 2000. Based on this clerical error and thinking that it’s the halloween of the new millenium, Satan will burst forth from his cage and incinerate the world. And then realize his error and apologise for his tardiness to the survivors, which will consist of himself and a portly janitor named Fred, who he will then kill.
April 28, 2026 (my 50th birthday)


Four horseman of the apocalypse
Twenty eight days in the cycle of the moon
Unlucky 13 - only double the trouble

Do I have to spell it out for you people? Repent!

October 20, 2010

You mean 10-20 2010?

This is obviously the date when time starts reversing.

April 1, 2011

[American underground bunker: Alarms go off, lights flash, loudspeaker:]“China just shot nukes at us! Run for your lives! Run run run run run!”

[Two minutes later everything shuts down, man walks in:]“Heh heh, I sure got you guys this time didn’t I! -Wait, what did you just do???
June 14th, 2118

The combined populations of China, India and Pakistan have increased so much the planet can no longer rotate, and everyone who is untethered floats off into space.

January 1st, 2100

Y2KC bug. Nuff said.

August 20, 2027

August 20, 2027.
Exactly 50 years after the launch of Voyager II.

It’s back.

And it’s pissed.

April 12th, 2030

04-12-30 = six digits
ZOMBIE = six letters

If you rearrange the numbers to 204013, turn the 3 around and squint like you’re undead, you can make out the word “zombie”. It’s obvious: On April 12, 2030, the human race will be overrun by … rats!
Because zombies aren’t real. Duh.
September 31, 2232

After having floated off into space, the combined populations of China, India and Pakistan are going to suddenly realize that when the planet stops rotating gravity increases (minisculely) rather than ceases, and their corpses will come plummetting down and crush everyone who was tethered down or inside during the first apocalypse in 2118.
September 8th, 2032

I saw what you did there!

A race of advanced extraterrestrial beings decides that the Sun has got to go because it muddies the view of the rest of the galaxy. However, they agree not to destroy it if they can locate intelligent life dependent on the Sol’s existence. Not finding any, they extinguish the Sun and the Earth freezes.

February 29, 2200

February 29, 2200:

The sudden realization that calendars are misprinted causes global confusion as to what time really means. Unable to come up with any solid answers, the human race ponders itself to death.

March 27th, 2061 (my 100th birthday)

Uncle Goat turns 100. Shit happens, the world ends.

May 27, 2010

Jesus just says 'WTF, lets do something new". poof.

August 8, 1988. (8-8-88)

The world is destryed to make way for a hyperspace bypass, but is replaced by an exact duplicate and no one on it notices!

Stardate 45322.3