I have unearthed the greatest conspiracy of all time…
A conspiracy against man, perpetrated by women.
It turns out that pregnancy isn’t really as bad as women have made it appear. Women one day realized, “Hey, men can’t have babies, let’s take advantage of this.” And so men have been duped into making runs to the grocery store for tuna fish and vanilla ice cream in the name of “cravings.” Womankind has collectively been pulling the wool over men’s eyes for millenia.