Just an FYI, for those of you who keep track of such things…
I miscarried last week, apparently twins (lost them on different days, and yes, I could tell - you probably don’t want the TMI details of identifying fetal tissue).
I’m doing pretty well, considering. I had a short crisis of faith (less than 24 hours - over in record time, for me!), but have passed through that pretty much intact. A few bumps to the psyche, but nothing permanent.
I only felt one soul present for this pregnancy, anyway, and that one is still present - just waiting for the right chance, or right time, or right body. That, for me, is enough comfort. It really does feel like there is someone curled up against my side, halfway between how a child feels, snuggled up, and how a cat feels - warm, but also ‘doing its own thing and just happen to be doing it right here where you need it’. Hard to describe.
Still vastly better than my last miscarriage, where I felt a big hole where the baby should be, no comfort, immense pain. This time, no hole, very little pain. Baby still there, just not in physical form … yet. We’ll try again later. Much easier to deal with a postponement than a loss.
Anyway, thanks for listening. I am definitely disappointed (no cousin pair this time, poop), and sad (I had expectations and hopes developing, too), but I am also comfortable where I am. I am even still completely thrilled 
that I will get to watch Tranq and Intaglio be parents for the second time. It isn’t hard at all to find joy, happiness, comfort, and peace. So no need to worry for me or offer more than regrets.
C’est tout.
