It clearly does, because the singer literally begs the pregnant woman to give a different, non-ritualized answer.
Pregnant lady appears smug because she’s participating in a ritual in which she knows all the right answers. “I have already made all the right decisions, here, let me share them with you.” Her POV can’t be contradicted, because she is pregnant and the listener is not. Listener has no right to an opinion because she is not pregnant. However she must feign interest because she is a woman.
But basically, it doesn’t really matter if you and I agree. There’s no objectively correct answer to whether something is funny and why. I think it’s funny, you don’t, end of story, but no, this song is not bad or evil, it’s depicting a social situation which, if you are not a woman in her 30s without children, you have never experienced.
If you’ve ever dealt with fertility issues, the song is both accurate and hysterically funny. If you haven’t, it’s still both accurate and hysterically funny.
I guess people with different backgrounds can find different meanings in a song, that’s true. But the thing is, I recognize each of the things this pregnant woman (in the song) is depicted as saying. And in my experience, these things are generally not said out of smugness, but instead for entirely innocent reasons. This makes me suspect that a lot of women are being called “smug” for bad reasons. And that this song is an example of the kind of thing that encourages that wrongful judgment. So I think it’s important for people to be aware of the issue–if only to wonder, next time they think a pregnant woman is being “smug,” whether they may not be mistaken, and may be making a lot of unfair assumptions.
I wouldn’t, but I do recognize that some people would. But that doesn’t work here. You didn’t just say “to hell with that guy.” It’s “to hell with those smug bitches anyways.” I cannot see how “smug bitches” is not contemptuous.
Not that I think your interpretation is correct. The message of the song is just “Pregnant women are smug.” Or, if I want to take the comedy out of it, “We often encounter pregnant women who unknowingly say smug things.” The humor of the song is in the directness and the truth of the underlying message. The taboo of ever saying that directly is what makes it funny.
There is no reason the questioner needs to be a single childless woman in her 30s. The questioner can easily be anyone who isn’t currently pregnant.
The first example is a joke about how silly saying “as long as it’s healthy” is. Apparently speaking in cliches is supposed to be an indication that a pregnant woman is smug. The joke works on its own, but not in the context of the song.
The second example seems to be some bizarro statement that no pregnant woman ever says. If someone did actually say that, it would indeed be smug. There’s no reason to phrase it that way, rubbing someone’s nose in the fact that they know something you don’t.
The third example, and the one Frylock didn’t bring up, is definitely an example of smugness that does occur amongst pregnant women. Since he didn’t mention it, I’ll quote it.
I do not see how any of these examples needs the questioner to be an insecure, childless, single woman in her 30s.
I have a friend who loves this song, and in conversation with me said it was exactly because of her own fertility issues.
Pressing her on this in person would have done no good of course. But the fact is it’s wrong to make negative judgments about other people based on what you yourself are going through. This is to take your own issues and use them to victimize other people who have nothing to do with your issues. I recognize the psychological realities here, and I know it is difficult and complex, but through all that there remains the fact that victimizing other people for things they did not do is not healthy, neither for the victim nor the victimizer.
I’d agree that the conversation is enough to assume the pregnant woman is being smug. I should have included discussion of this in the OP. But my main argument was that the conversations in the other two verses don’t indicate smugness, and to think that they do is to make unfair assumptions.
Begging her to give a different answer, while calling her a bitch mind you, is not to acknowledge her as being trapped in a cycle. It is to accuse her of being a smug bitch.
Highly educated and urban and over 30 yes. (In many cases just a bit under 30). As it happens, most of the ones I know have put careers on hold, so professionally achieving" would not apply post-baby. Pre-baby, yes.
Maybe not, but I bet that after the birth, if you’re a female friend who doesn’t want to hold the baby when offered, and/or doesn’t really give a shit about looking at photos? Yeah, you’re going to get looked at differently. And I have literally heard mothers complain about their friends who don’t want to hold their baby because they don’t know how hard it is being a mother and it’s really inconsiderate to not hold the baby for them.
what’s really funny in this thread is how incredibly smug Frylock is about the rightness and enlightenment of his thinking. It’s not enough he doesn’t think it’s funny. No, what he needs us to know is that it is a serious form of oppression we should frown seriously at.
I mean, really, I only disagree because I’m such an unfair jerk who doesn’t consider what other people are going through. If I gave them a fair shot I’d never mock them behind their back for talking like being pregnant is the most important thing that has ever happened, ever.
Yeah there’s some kind of interesting disconnect here then. The conversation I’ve always heard involves recently-pregnant women kind of wishing people would stop grabbing after their baby. I don’t know that I’ve ever heard a mom ask “do you want to hold it”–it’d be presumptuous! What if the person isn’t a baby person?
Like I said, it’s entirely plausible that different people bring different messages to the song based on their background. But I do think what I’m saying in this thread is an important point to make, because it is very likely that many women who aren’t being smug are being misinterpreted in that way. Like I said, the women I know say the very things found in the first two verses, but for completely innocent reasons. No coyness or superiority is involved–they’re just politely deflecting a conversation they’d rather not have. They’d be perfectly happy if you’d never even brought it up in the first place.
The road to hell is paved in “entirely innocent reasons”.
Seriously, no one ever thinks they are smug. No one ever thinks they sound smug. No one ever intends to be smug. And yet, smugness continues to abound throughout the land.
Of course, it is the responsibility of the listener not to get carried away with their (mis)perceptions. But it’s also the responsibility of the speaker not to sound like a damn Hallmark card. If you don’t know the gender of your baby, just say you don’t know yet. If you don’t want to share the name, just say you want it to be a a big surprise. If the yoga instructor asks you to move your mat, just say “OK”. All that other extra stuff? Ain’t nobody got time for that.
The non-pregnant busybodies get scolded all the time for overstepping boundaries and with good reason. This song is a way of saying, “Ya’ll can be bitches too!” Yes, it’s juvenile, but most humor is this way.
Oh for cripes sake. Are you serious? it’s a song. A very funny song with quite frankly a lot of truth in it. And when you’re dealing with your third chemical in less than six months while the smug – yes smug – whiny asshole nasty bitch pregnant-on-her-first-try-at-43 neighbor tells you to just adopt while patting her belly with great and unearned satisfaction – it’s also a welcome and very funny song.
FYI, I’ve been successfully pregnant twice and I still found it very funny while I was pregnant. No one is being victimized by a slightly satirical song. You are completely overreacting.
The bug’s in your ear.