Prejudices, stereotypes, and dreams – a far-too-serious MMP

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Blargh.

How can it be Monday already? That totally didn’t feel like two days of weekend, dammit.

Good OP, Mooooooom. I guess I’ve been lucky, since I can’t recall ever being discriminated against… but just reading the coverage on Haiti is enough to remind me that racism is alive and well, even in tolerant multicultural Canada. Ugh.

Yay on DH finding a job, gotti! Hopefully a proper full-time job will follow shortly… they keep saying the economy is recovering, after all.

So I think I’m going to have to stage an intervention with The Boy later this week. He’s been playing Modern Warfare 2 almost constantly whenever he’s home, to the point that he hasn’t been doing anything around the house unless I specifically ask him to help me with something… he’s a big boy, and he should be able to figure out on his own that the dishwasher needs emptying or that the bathroom needs a scrubbing or that the bills need paying. Grrrr. I let things slide when he was working stupid crazy hours because I figured he should enjoy what little downtime he got, but now that he’s back on a more reasonable schedule, I’m putting my foot down.

22

I like the OP, FCM.

Oddly enough, I experienced my first bit of prejudice when I was only 6 or 7 years old. We had just moved back to the United States from Germany and I was living on a military installation. Since my mother is German, I thought nothing of speaking German with her and was quite fluent in it. At any rate, I was out in the front yard, speaking with my mother about something through the kitchen window, when my neighbor across the street called me over.

Being a respectful little child, I obediently crossed the street to see what she wanted. As I neared her, she said, “Go back to Germany you little fucking Nazi!”
Even then, I was fully aware of a what Nazi was. I was heartbroken. Nearly 40 years after the war, and still this prejudice toward Germans was alive and well.

What’s surprising was this was 1970 and it was a military installation, where nationalities and races of every kind co-existed together.

At any rate, I’ve done my best to judge people by their character and nothing else. I’ve never understood how someone’s skin color, religion, sex, or sexual persuasion is supposed to make them better or less than others. That’s just stupid.

I’ve raised my kids the same way. They tease me and say I’m ultra-sensitive and like to try and get a rise out of me by saying something that I would consider prejudicial, but really they’re not that way. They both have friends of many colors, nationalities, religions, and even sexual persuasion. Their friends join right along with them in trying to get a rise out of me. Maybe, just maybe, this generation will start to swing things around.

It’s a holiday for me too, being a DoD employee. My husband, on the other hand, has to work. He works for one of the largest transportation companies in the US, but they do not consider this a holiday.

Bobbio, I’m sorry you had such a rough night. I understand those kinds of calls take a toll on responders. My friend, who is a firefighter/paramedic also has a rough time after calls like those.

I should do some chores today.

23

That sounds awful, Bobbio. Thanks again for your work.

Great OP, FCM. Funny, how people are, isn’t it?

My Mom is Mexican, but I don’t look particularly Mexican. Mostly I deal with people who find out that my family is Mexican then pause to think about whether they’ve ever said anything stupid in my presence. I usually find the dramatic pause amusing.

I just posted the Valentine exchange thread, by the way, in case anyone’s interested in playing.

How can it be noon already? I’ve gotten nothing done so far. (Well, except the Valentine’s Day thread, but that doesn’t really count.)

Back later.

GT

24

Ugh. Somebody has a case of the Mondays. And that would be me. Blurgh.

Rosie’s sig to all.

25

This got me to thinking. My grandfather was a clone of Archie Bunker. I grew up hearing every racial and ethnic epithet you can imagine. My parents never used those words, and I chalked it up to my grandfather being an old guy from a different era who didn’t know any better.

My parents still had their prejudices, but they weren’t nasty or overt about them. Although my mom was a bit rattled when I dated a black man. And when I was going out with a Puerto Rican guy, she confessed she’d always hoped all of her children would marry Polish mates. None of us did.

I deal with the vestiges of my upbringing, but it seems to manifest itself with trying too hard, if that makes sense. It’s as if I have to go overboard to prove that I’m not a bigot. I’ve mostly gotten that under control - I find it’s easier when I’m quiet. Which is how I kept myself from saying anything to **swampy **about being a <gasp> Jawja boy! :stuck_out_tongue:

Actually, I don’t believe I was particularly quiet when we dined, was I…? :smiley:

My big scare came years ago when my daughter came home and declared “I don’t like Classmate.” (Not going to reveal his name here, just because.) I knew *Classmate *was black, and I braced myself before asking her why. “Because he’s a kissy-boy!” At which point I was able to breathe again.

Turns out *Classmate *liked to chase the girls on the playground and kiss them. So I wasn’t dealing with racism. I was dealing with a 5-year-old sex maniac. Much better. :smiley:

Anyway, my daughter is aware of racism and other prejudices, but she needs a valid reason to dislike anyone. And it’s always strictly personal, not stereotypical. So the old ways are dying out in some family lines. And that’s a good thing.

And speaking of the daughter, she just headed out to PapaJohn’s to pick up lunch. Which is good. I’s stahvink!!!

26

FCM, I understand exactly what you mean about trying too hard.

You see, my mother was prejudicial and used the dreaded “N” word. This may have been brought on by the fact that my Dad left her for an African American woman; I don’t know. I just cringed when my mother would go on one of her rants. I resolved at age eight to never be like her. I just couldn’t understand it at all. Even then, my tiny mind realized that skin color had nothing to do with her marital situation, and that she really needed to reevaluate why my Dad had left.

My father-in-law, who was really old enough to be my grandfather, was definitely the Archie Bunker type. I just cringed when he spouted some very nasty stuff.

I had to ask him to not speak that way in front of my kids. He was definitely taken aback by my request, but did his level best to abide by my request.

I told my mother the same thing, well before I worked the nerve up to ask my FiL. She didn’t like it, but she complied.

So, maybe I try too hard. I don’t know. It’s a simple thing for me really; the whole do unto others line. It’s a simple life philosphy, but one I try to live by.

27

Great OP, FCM. I just wish I’d encountered more people like you as a kid, and fewer like my middle-school classmates who thought nothing of yelling “Hey, wetback!” when they saw me. This in a school full of Mexican-American kids.

Today (she said, changing the subject) it’s raining here, and everyone is acting like it’s the OMG STORM OF THE CENTURY!!!1!!!, as is the custom in the LA area. I got back from the dr., where I had blood drawn, about an hour ago, had Mickey D’s for brekkie (not very healthy, I know, but it’s a rare thing for me) and am currently attempting to drag the Princess away from her cartoons so we can go get her some new shoes. I will probably have to throw in a new Junie B. Jones paperback to sweeten the deal.

28

I have a Pillsbury calendar for my office this year and decided to make each month’s pictured dessert recipe during the month. This month it’s these gingersnap cookies with chocolate candies. I used Hershey’s kisses instead of “chocolate stars” 'cause the stars at the grocery store looked like pretty poor quality chocolate. And you can’t go wrong with kisses. Anyway, the cookies are gooooood and are getting rave reviews at work. I’m surprised how much I like that recipe, but I’d definitely recommend it. It was a bit tough to work with - the dough was very crumbly and I had to work to shape them into balls - but the end result is worth it!

29

My mother runs into this a lot, and it infuriates her. She’s not stupid, she’s just having trouble understanding because younger people tendtotalkreallyfastandquietly.

And then roll their eyes when she asks them to repeat.

Yawn. Rough night, rough week, at the hospital for Nat’s quarterly checkup most of today, bad many night’s sleep, burnt. Hugs to all.

30

Blurf…looooong day today but I get to do two days of Managers Compensation and Benefits training starting tomorrow. Yay!:stuck_out_tongue:

I have experienced some pretty bad discrimination purely due to being female. The oilfield is unsurprisingly very male dominated and oh boy do some of the Good 'Ol Boys get a surprise when the person in coveralls running the job for them turns out to be female! Oh well…I was a kick ass engineer in the field so they mostly came around eventually. :smiley:

Hope Nat is doing well.

Smooches to all!

31

taxi if’n I worked where you do, I’d be your bestest friend just so’s you’d keep on bringin’ nummies to work. :smiley:

MOOOOOOM you were the very model of decorum when we dined. Not to mention, a cheap date. :stuck_out_tongue:

Taters good on you for tellin’ your mom and fil not to do that around the kids.

Lucky I considered McD’s for brekkie but that would have meant wearin’ sump’n besides sweatpants, tshirt and my robe, which I consider to be a perfectly lovely outfit but probably not to be in the public, and well, actually leavin’ da cave, so I didn’t.

Speakin’ of leavin’ da cave, I suppose I should consider changin’ bein’ as tonight is men’s night, meanin’ I can’t show up in sweatpants, tshirt and my robe. Why must my life be so hard!

32

**mmmmmmm **- did you find that the first time ya done good, it was viewed as a fluke, but eventually the guys acknowledged that maybe you did know what you were talking about?? I shot myself in the foot by making a few stupid errors on my earliest drawings. But once I worked that out, I actually had several guys compliment me! Can you imagine??? :eek:

I did get a kick out of the one welder who didn’t know the difference between a radius and a diameter, and he built my part half the size it needed to be. I just know he was grumbling about that durn girl engineer…

33

Ha! That’s pretty funny! I know how it is to work with oil-field males… I’m finally one of the guys, (after almost 30 years!) and I can even tell most of them what to do and how to do it.

'Course, I’m nice about it, dammit. :smiley:

34

I realized I never addressed the OP. I have not experienced discrimination. By the time I got to engineering school in '98, it was pretty girl-friendly. Really, they were so gung-ho on trying to get more women into engineering school, that they bent over backwards trying to make sure those of us who were there were happy, well-adjusted, and not discriminated against.

Beyond that, I’m a middle-class, white, hetero American. Not much for people to find to look down on me for.

I try really hard to look at everyone as individuals and not to look at groups. Or to stop those stereotyping reactions when they happen and really think about it before it gets to the point of saying something stupid.

As far as changes in society, it is good to see that, at least in my work and church circles, no one bats an eye when a same-sex couple shows up at parties, church services, etc. I went to a Xmas party in early Dec and a coworker (who I barely know) was there with his boyfriend. And it was just sort of like “Oh, Joe’s here with a boy instead of a girl. OK.” ::shrug::

My church is starting the process this year to consider becoming a Reconciling congregation. Basically, it’s a title within the Methodist church that means we openly welcome LGBT members. We already have one lesbian couple in church. The label is just something that lets everyone know that this church is welcoming, say if you’re looking for a church in a region. (Or conversely, if someone doesn’t want to go to a church that openly supports LGBT issues, I suppose they would know not to come to our church.) It’s pretty exciting that we’re taking those steps this year.

35

Wow - angry emails get attention… our house reeked of heating oil again, and the basement had a blue-ish haze. I called our oil company, but no one answered, so I went to their website and sent off a less-than-happy email. I got a call within 15 minutes, and the tech was here in less than an hour. He spent about an hour, cleaning, testing and talking… a LOT. He changed out the injector and showed **FCD **where to check in a couple of days for pooling oil. Here’s hoping the fourth time’s the charm. If not, he said the pump would have to be changed.

While he was down there cussin’ and fussin’, I tidied my studio and broke up the dried-out clay stuff I’d been working on months ago. It’s all in a pan of warm water, and tomorrow, I should be able to start squooshing it back into a clay-like state. If it’s too wet, I’ll just leave it uncovered for a few days. I’ve decided to take 2 evenings a week as if I was still taking class and spend a couple of hours in my studio. We’ll see how long that lasts.

Oh - and I watched a movie today I’d never heard of - Sliding Doors - and it was pretty good. Definitely a chick flick, but it was a neat idea and well-executed. Worth a watch if you’re bored.

And thus endeth my weekend. Back to the grind tomorrow.

36

I love that movie.

37

Back to work tomorrow and I got a major case of ‘donwannas’

38

Me too!

39

waves Work tomorrow. And I haven’t posted this because I know all too well we’ve got various people here in various states of employment, but my boss pulled me into her office on Friday and told me that I was getting a raise, though she wouldn’t know until tomorrow how much it’d be. I’ve been there for just over two years and they froze us about a week before I was due for my first review. And if they’re starting to unfreeze raises, perhaps the big company that owns us thinks things are looking up. Yay! The whole thing is hush-hush at work but I had to tell somebody. I don’t think it’s going to be much but I’ll take anything I can get. Especially since I just got my eyes checked today and paid for new glasses which should be here in a week.

Of course, this also means I have an actual review tomorrow. I HATE those. Hopefully I will keep my composure and all will go well.

40

rebo & fcm…flukes? Sure did or at least that is what the Co Reps thought it was…man I have some fun stories to tell the Grandkids.

Funny thing is one particular guy I worked for the first time I showed up wouldn’t let me on location at first (til I told him it was me or nothing) then proceeded to talk to my pump operator and not me for the entire job. Then after a few jobs actually requested me…:stuck_out_tongue:

COngrats on the raise snowbunny…off to training I go!