My friend is stranded in bed and has been for about a year, due to a car accident. She’s been doing physical therapy and is eventually going to be able to walk again. Because of her brain damage she severed the optic nerve and cannot open her eyes.
So what to get her for her birthday?
She has dozens of books on tape already, so that’s out.
I got her a gift certificate for a travelling masseuse lady for Christmas.
…I’m out of ideas.
What a terrible circumstance. How about some nice CDs or a new CD player?
How about things that smell good? There are all kinds of lotions, powders, fancy-schmancy shampoos and conditioners. You can get sachets to scent bed sheets or dresser drawers. Or incense, if she’s the type.
Or soft, silky things that feel good.
Certainly her favorite foods are in order.
Is she expected to be able to see again? Or will the optic nerve not repair itself? Please forgive my ignorance if this is a dumb question. If she will be permanently blind, she may want to learn Braille, so maybe something along those lines.
My best thoughts go out to you and your friend. That must be terrible to deal with. I’m sure your continuing support is one of the best gifts you have to give.
She can see if her eyes are manually opened for her. She has a special pair of glasses that push into and lift her eyelids. But then her eyes start to dry out, etc. It’s kind of a pain. The doctors don’t know whether the nerve will ever repair itself but I’m thinking maybe I heard that after this amount of time has passed, it probably won’t. I don’t understand how she can squeeze her eyes shut harder, she can roll her eyes around, she can see with her eyes, but she just can’t lift her eyelids. It’s maddening, but that’s how it is.
Anyway, she just started a braille class so maybe I can find a “See Dick and Jane”-type book for her to practice with. I guess I would have to order something like that online?
Maybe I could get her a little gift-basket with soaps and chocolates and a soft fuzzy blanket. I’m sure she has stuff like that already, but on the other hand, I’m sure it would get used too.
This is probably really dumb, but I always thought the optic nerve was what carried the images from the retina to the brain. What you’re describing sounds like her eyelids don’t work properly, or blink, or something. How is that related to the optic nerve? I’m not criticising, I just don’t understand. 
This might sound weird, but perhaps something like TIVO (I don’t have it myself)? She has a long row to hoe. It may be nice if she could record all the shows she is used to, and seen before, and replay them, listen to them.
She could record the shows that she can still see in her minds eye. It may be Andy Griffith, or MASH or whatever.
It would be tough to learn the controls, but If she can see for short periods…
A subscription to Audible.com and an MP3 player. I love that place.
How about a Seeing Eye dog?
Perhaps some form of clay (plasticine?) that she could use to do models of forms, faces, etc. Many people who could once see, but have difficulties or cannot see anymore become quite good with making sculptures.
There have also been some amazing technological advances to enable the blind to use the Internet - look here for example. My guess is you were not exactly thinking of buying her a laptop, but perhaps you could look into the software and do the research and perhaps convince family and friends to chip in and get her the hardware and software necessary. If you are not all that computer savvy, you could contact some places on the internet for help, or maybe a local university or center for the blind.
For me, access to the internet would be a huge leap in helping alleviate my feelings of isolation during a crisis like she is having.
I only briefly glanced at that stuff DMark, but I’m guessing she’d need to be able to type or speak - neither of which she is too adept at right now. Also, I don’t know if the clay would be fun or frustrating, she doesn’t have much motor control - but maybe that’s why clay would be good for her. An mp3 player is a good idea too.
MLS - I don’t know either. I’ve looked up some stuff on “droopy eyelid” and it can be caused by nerve damage among other things, but maybe it’s not actually the optic nerve. I was amazed at how little the doctors could tell us about brain damage and recovery. For the first 3 or 4 months after the accident she was in a coma and the doctors told us there was no brain activity at all and the doctors wanted her parents to sign over her organs. They didn’t though because we all “thought” we felt her squeezing our hands, etc. which the doctors just rolled their eyes and said it was reflexive not responsive. Anyway, now she talks and sits up and feeds herself and she has all of her memories and knowledge. It’s been an interesting journey when it hasn’t been a nightmare.
Most blind people don’t rely on Braille for much of anything anymore. It’s cumbersome and expensive. There are probably books she can get on how to go about her daily business if she remains sightless. That might be a good gift.
I was “blind” for a few weeks after my Totally Horrifying Fishing Accident. Music was a great gift.
Also, you could take her to the movies.
Something like this, maybe: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0891280642/qid=1139528713/sr=1-8/ref=sr_1_8/002-9854680-3144857?s=books&v=glance&n=283155
I don’t suppose it occured to you to ask her what she’d like?
One of the problems of being disabled is a lack of control. While it’s all very nice to have people give you things, a lot of what’s been discussed here seems to be based on assumptions of what she would like.
So - ask her what she’d like. So it’s not a big surprise - so what? Maybe there’s something very simple no one has thought of that she would appreciate even more than an MP3 player or soft fuzzy thing or whatever.
This post sounds so much like another Doper’s opinion that it’s kinda freaky.
Which other doper is it? I have to determine whether that was a compliment or not. 
Broomstick, I did ask her, and she doesn’t know either. We’ve been friends since second grade, which would be … 23 years or so? It just seems like she must be so bored. Stuck on her back waiting for her family to care for her.
You are a good friend to keep in her life after such a horrifying event and even moreso when a quick, perfect recovery is not on the horizon. So many friends bail on someone who is bedridden because they cannot handle the depressing untenable situation. Even little visits once in awhile mean so much to those who are incapacitated.
Maybe some anti bacterial handcleaners to beat back the illnesses that are rampant in long term care places ( which I am assuming is where she is at?) Really good tissue and lip balm are always welcome needed things.
I received The Great Courses in the mail and really am itching to try some of them out…if money weren’t so tight. Every now and then courses show up on Ebay at quite a nice discount, usually for cassette’s though.
Also, your local library may have downloadable audio books for an mp3 available. That might be something worth looking into.
Make a donation in her name to the hopital she is at – or the physical therapy association, brain injury, etc
Have a surprise birthday party for her – and everyone who comes donates some money to whatever cause she likes – or make a foundation in her name
Have her friends and family make a video/audio tape saying all the great things they like about her, funny stories, etc
You can start by listing her hobbies and seeing what’s compatible with her situation.