Presumptuous technology

I was just heating up a sub in the microwave.

When it was finished, a message appeared on the LCD panel saying “Your food is ready”

I wonder how it knew. I wonder how it knew I was heating food.

My VCR says ‘bye’ on its LCD screen when I turn it off. What a nice VCR.

The Snopes 2000 model has a setting for babysitters that says “Your baby is ready.”

I want a microwave that reads “Fuck you, now get your fucking food”

My VCR may very well be extremely, even cloyingly friendly. But I don’t know because I can’t get it to quit speaking Spanish. I do know that “rebobinar” means rewind and “AV rapido” is fast forward.

Washington Mutual ATMs phrase everything in the context of a conversation. Like instead of reading “Put your ATM card in the slot,” it says “Hello, for us to begin talking, you must insert your ATM card.” “Please enter your secret code,” “What kind of transaction would you like me to help you with today?” and etc. I’ve always gotten a kick out of that.

My car stereo says, “Welcome” when you first turn it on. When you shut it down, it says, “See you.” It’s one of those types that has the detachable faceplate for theft preventtion. When you press the faceplate release button, it helpfully slides the face forward so that you may more easily detach it. It’s a very polite and helpful stereo. Perhaps in a few more years, technology will allow us to completely eliminate the need for passengers as a prerequisite for conversation!

You lucky bastards. I have a computer that I have to press the “Start” button to shut it down. It also accuses me from time to time that I’ve performed an “illegal operation”. How does it know what I do in the basement with my surgical instruments? Damn ungrateful PC.

I like that the coke machines here will say (out loud) “thank you” after you buy a drink, and the ATMs have a little graphic of a person bowing to you when you take out your money.

What freaked me out, though, was when when I stepped up to the ATM after waiting in line, and a recording suddenly played (in English) “If you would like to conduct your transaction in English, please press the ‘English’ button. Thank you for using Dai-Ichi Kangyo Bank.” How the hell did it know I wasn’t Japanese?:eek:

Turned out it was just part of a constant loop and I’d happened to step up at the right time. :rolleyes:

Interesting. My DVD player tried to tell me I wasn’t allowed to play this DVD I bought. It did play it after I smacked it around a few times.

You just have to show them who’s boss. It’s always the one with the hammer.

Apparently the Sirius Cybernetics corporation now has a branch office on Earth.

We must find this office and destroy it or we’ll be surrounded by "Marvin"s.

My car park used to say “Welcome Jason” when I drove in. Odd since I am not Jason. I’m not even male.

A few years ago there was a video game that would suddenly bark out: “COIN DETECTED IN POCKET!” :eek:

Who knows what else it was doing or looking at while it was detecting coins…? :eek:

Is anyone else reminded of those doors in Hitchhiker’s Guide which say, “Thank you for making a simple door very happy!”?

After my computer has refused to shut down, and I’ve restarted it manually, it tells me condescendingly, “Always shut down by selecting Shut Down from the Start menu!”

A few years ago?

Tranq, that was BERZERK. That was twenty+ freaking years ago!

But it was so damn cool.

And FTR, our new DVD says, “Welcome to Toshiba DVD” when it’s first turned on. And it says, “Bye!” when turned off. Very friendly and I wish it would stop it.

Missed my post, did you?

Damn. I’m getting old… :frowning: :stuck_out_tongue:

The Andrew Dice Clay model. :smiley:

Dave, I think you should take a stress pill and lie down. I assure you, I have the greatest enthusiasm for this microwave mission.

Bill Cosby once said that he wanted a doorbell that, instead of ringing, would yell, “Somebody’s at the door!”