Pretty lady Dopers, is it a always a benefit, or sometimes a burden?

[GrandWino]

@rhubarbarin

For most women I’ve known who get a lot of attention for their looks, I’d say the main perk of being considered attractive by most people is that it enables you to have attractive romantic/sexual partners who you consider very sexually attractive. Of course, it’s hard to measure the more nebulous advantages (most of us have heard by now that scientific studies prove that being conventionally attractive means everyone likes you more, is nicer to you, considers you more trustworthy, and will do more to help you). And the negatives, like scary guys harassing you or people treating you like a brainless pair of breasts, are more obvious.

I hope you don’t mind me saying so, but as one of the people that often gives you a hard time regarding how you discuss “looks” in general, this was a really good post.

[SweetiePotato]

Haha! I’m not gorgeous, but I am pretty. I’ve noticed that, if I wear skirt/heels to the grocery store, I get a lot more “can I help you find anything?”, etc., than otherwise. But any girl can wear a skirt and heels! I think it’s more how you present yourself to the world than anything else. In my experience, the medium-range woman who styles herself, dresses well, wears nice shoes, and carries herself with confidence will get more positive attention than the “naturally-hot” woman who is walking around with unwashed hair, sweatpants, and flipflops.

My “burden” was being hit on by multiple bosses/superiors when I was a working girl. I was so young I took it as a compliment, but now I realize they were just taking advantage of an obsequious 20-something who wanted her bosses to like her. Not cool, guys. Once, a superior who became a friend even admitted having hired me because I was more attractive/outgoing than the other girl (who probably had better credentials). So, there you go. It may get your foot in the door, but the attention that follows can make things difficult and awkward if you don’t know how to handle it.

[Troppus]

@rhubarbarin

For most women I’ve known who get a lot of attention for their looks, I’d say the main perk of being considered attractive by most people is that it enables you to have attractive romantic/sexual partners who you consider very sexually attractive. Of course, it’s hard to measure the more nebulous advantages (most of us have heard by now that scientific studies prove that being conventionally attractive means everyone likes you more, is nicer to you, considers you more trustworthy, and will do more to help you). And the negatives, like scary guys harassing you or people treating you like a brainless pair of breasts, are more obvious.

Same for me. I’m average to most men, maybe slightly above to those who prefer taller women, but I’ve never cared one way or another if men I’m not interested in find me attractive. I don’t invest enough weight in my own looks to need validation from strangers, and I’ve never been naive or entitled enough to accept favorable treatment from someone just because he was interested in me. I don’t like being cold approached by men interested in dating me based on their approval of my looks alone because I find it presumptuous, but not because I find the attention tiresome. I have a couple of gorgeous friends who never complain about excess attention, they are simply accustomed to attention since childhood and handle it gracefully. One uses her looks to her advantage, the other is embarrassed and apologetic about being beautiful.