Proclamations Only Thread!

Whereas, it is Thursday evening and I am bored;
Now therefore I, PJD, guest member of the Straight Dope Message Boards, do
hereby proclaim that this thread is for the posting of proclamations only, and urge
all posters to abide by this restriction.
Proclaimed this 12th day of October in the year 2023.

Whereas, I, quondam_mechanic, duly and soundly impressed by pjd’s initial post;
Now therefore, I, the aformentioned quondam_mechanic, do hereby add my proclamation to this thread, in quoting Mel Brooks’ Governor Lepetomaine by proclaiming “Harrumph! Harrumph!

Whereupon and verily, I, penultima_thule, being of sound mind and failing at approximately the right rate body, possessing unincumbered property but notwithstanding a wallet insufficient to bode me well into my dotage do hereby proclaim that this here message board represents a disturbingly important slice of delight and sanguinity to my benighted existence, that the tolerance displayed by the eclectic assemblage of merkins and diverse associates towards the periodic said antipodean utterances is intensely appreciated if not deserved nor merited and I would deign wreck serious havoc upon any nere-do-well who would threaten it’s continuation. Forsooth!

Let it be known to all by these presents that I, Bicycle Bill, having by dint of comprehensive study and practice achieved the position of the one true arbiter of spelling, grammar, and punctuation, do hereby proclaim that the serial comma (also known colloquially as the ‘Oxford comma’) is the only proper way to separate the elements of a list of three or more entries when expressed in written form.


I, carnut, hereby proclaim that now is the time to actually agree with @Bicycle_Bill’s proclamation regarding the use of the serial comma.

But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles
To fall down at your door

Well met, Lord Bill.

I, Spice Weasel, having upon this Earth 35 years as a writer of grants, academic essays and fiction, do hereby proclaim that it depends.